When you think “Irish movie”, what’s the first thing that pops into your head?

You think dreary coastlines, people with a strange affinity for potatoes, seaweed and fish (usually together in a pie), the IRA and The Cranberries. At a push, you might be thinking Gerard Butler and posthumous love letters (why, Gerard, why?).

But you don’t think of kung fu, or leprechaun monk kung fu masters, or Boyzone. And you most certainly don’t think of them all at the same time.

The early and mid-nineties were a prosperous time for genocide. Kosovo was 1994 and 1995, Rwanda was 1994. Fatal Deviation was 1993. The poor, poor Irish.

Are your eyes ready?

What the hell would happen if someone dug this up in 1000 years time and used this as a social benchmark of our society? Fortunately, a critic has gone on record for the long term preservation of modern civilization’s dignity.

And I quote:

Fatal Deviation is not a parody. It’s an Irish martial arts movie about a secret kung fu tournament run in a barn by a group of hobo-monks in the scenic village of Trim, and I repeat: not a parody.

Yes, but is it worth watching? Some critics are less than delicate.

To call this a playground recreation of violence would insult the thousands of children who genuinely hurt themselves…The tagline promises “A classic good versus evil action flick, mixed with kicks, guns, motorcycles and a hot babe!” – a sentence that’s just as awesome as it is a complete and shameless lie.

And if there was any doubt in our minds that this was a two bit production, the critic puts the issue to bed with a scathing factoid attack to the mid-section:

According to the credits, Jimmy Bennett stars, writes, cinematographs, produces, directs, “Fight-Action Choreographs,” casts, second unit directs and comes dangerously close to scribbling “by Jimmy Bennett, age 23” in crayon all over the film.

Yes, yes it’s bad. But the critic forgets, there are two major redeeming qualities to this film.

1) Leprechaun monks with Old Brown Sherry eyes.

And, 2) “Hot babes” with leather pants and sultry poses.

Am I the only one who reckons this film is a porno with the porno left out?

Be sure to read the rest of Luke McKinney’s critique of Fatal Deviation. There’s a boyzone member, an old villain who looks like Berney Maddoff, and a failed career. It’s worth it.

[Thanks, Nico!]

silverstreak@2oceansvibe.com