The official page for God was created on Facebook in 2011.
And while Facebook is generally regarded as having become a dump of bad content, the God page stands out as an island of satire in a sea of filigreed baby pictures. Having taken a satirical approach, the page divides the opinions of its almost 600 000 followers.
Looking at posts like this, it’s not difficult to see why the page is loved, and hated.
Mashable interviewed the creator of the page (in character as “God”), and it makes for fascinating reading.
What is the Creation story of God’s Facebook page?
I am the LORD and I have spent a long time bottling up emotions inside. I’ve had hundreds of years of intense psychotherapy with the best psychologists history can provide. In the year of your LORD 2011, I decided that I was finally ready to talk to the people of Earth directly, via social media.
There are many terrible things that are said about the LORD. Some people even say that “God hates fags,” and this is absolutely false. I love gay people. Why else would I make so many gay babies? It’s figs I don’t like.
Man, I tell you, the things said about Me are just ridiculous. I have returned to provide guidance to you idiots in your hour of need.
When did you realize you had struck a nerve or hit on something big?
I don’t have moments of realization. I have always known.
You post a lot of funny, shareable content. Is this the secret to your Facebook success? Or is it mostly omnipotence?
I’m not sure what Facebook success means, so I’m going to have to go with My Beefy Omnipotence.
Does it bother you that One Direction has more Facebook fans than God?
Not really. Those boy bands are very popular these days, especially with the critical tween demographic. The LORD knows that He’s not getting any younger.
A lot of people find your page offensive and are quite vocal about it. How do you handle them on Facebook?
I SMITE THEM! I expose their blasphemy and ignorance for the whole world to see. These people rarely spell or form coherent sentences. They also NEVER know the difference between your and you’re.
I’ve noticed you spend a lot of time on Reddit, specifically r/atheism. You even post your own promotional content there, which is embraced by the community — that’s rare. What gives?
It’s the damndest thing, isn’t it? On the Internet, the LORD is hated by hardcore religious zealots and beloved by hardcore atheist zealots. Religious people have decided that only THEY get to decide what I feel and think, which is often very ignorant and stupid.
Where’s your Twitter account? It’s 2013. Even Cher has a Twitter account. Come on, man.
I have one: @the_good_lord. I just don’t enjoy spending time on Twitter. Too many Harry Potter and Justin Bieber idolaters.
What are you planning to do with your online fame? Sell advertising? Write a book? What is the end game here?
My end game? I eventually plan to destroy the world, as you may have heard.
That said, I assume you are referring to that most human of activities: making money. I must admit, the church long ago stopped giving the LORD His cut of the action and I am almost broke.
You’ve got a YouTube channel with great cartoons. Do you make those yourself?
Yes, I am the creator and make that all Myself.
Do you plan to expand that enterprise?
Yes, I would like to have a TV show someday.
There are lots of social media accounts claiming to be God on the web.
Wait … what?! How dare they?! Impersonate the LORD?! BLASPHEMY! THEY SHALL PAY FOR MAKING FUN OF ME!!@#$%^!
Why has yours succeeded where others have failed?
BECAUSE I’M THE LORD! Geez, what part of being God do you not understand? Clearly your human brain cannot grasp this simple concept, so I’ll give you some inspiring song lyrics I like from The Prince of Egypt.*
“There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve? When you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.”
*That movie could have used about 9,000% more blood.
Do you ever talk to other social media Gods online? Do you guys have a clubhouse or something?
I’m omniscient. That said, I just learned there were other “gods” online from your other question. I’m still trying to find them. Does Zeus have a page? How many fans?!?! TELL ME, DAMN YOU!!
What’s the deal with the pope resigning?
I called the Pope-phone one day and told the pope that enough was enough already, and he needed to quit. He responded by saying that I’d been “sleeping on the job.” It was a messy divorce. I wish him nothing but the worst things in life.
Do you see yourself as a vigilante fighting Facebook ignorance?
Ignorance is a pernicious plague. Have you ever seen The Neverending Story? Remember The Nothing? That’s real, except now it’s called The Stupid. The Stupid threatens to engulf this world.
I and others stand against the forces of fear and hatred that bring naught but misery to you all. You are most welcome.
The LORD has spoken.
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