Monday, May 26, 2025

The noPhone Has Arrived, And It Never Needs Charging (And Can’t Make Phone Calls)

The answer to our mobile phone-in-hand addiction and it is actually simpler than you would think

Do you get separation anxiety from your phone? Are you afraid you will drop it in the bath AGAIN? Get pushed into the swimming pool with your precious in your pocket? Then get yourself a noPhone. It will change your life. Now you can scuba dive with a phone in your hand. Finally!

So what is this noPhone? Well, it is exactly what it says – no fucking phone. It is a piece of plastic that cannot make calls, you cannot send texts and worst of all, you cannot follow Kim Kardash on Twitter…

These guys think it is the bees-knees though:

“I used to sleep with my phone in my hand, but my night terrors would cause me to hurl it across the room in an unconscious panic. With the noPhone, I can still enjoy the comfort of holding a phone in my sleep, without waking up to a shattered screen. Thanks, noPhone.” -David H

“With the noPhone, my eye contact skills have
improved 73%.” -Whitney R

“Because of the noPhone, I haven’t drunk texted my ex boyfriend in one whole week.” -Craig G

“Not a real phone.” -Katie A

Can someone PLEASE give Katie A a high five!

Visit the noPhone website to see how it works, and to get your hands on this not-yet-to-cause-cancer-phone.