Saturday, May 24, 2025

August 29, 2014

You Know That Very Expensive Water Called VOSS? This Is Why It’s A Load Of Crap

VICE's Sam Briggs has a serious bone to pick with bottled-water company Voss, saying that the product's brand and pricing is absolutely "audacious".

It’s somewhat understandable when brands put a high-price on something that’s more commonly attainable, but VICE’s Sam Briggs has a serious bone to pick with bottled-water company Voss.

Briggs explains in a column that there is very little reason for Voss to charge what they do for their product, and they in which they try to market it is downright ludicrous.

If someone had inexplicably set out to create a parody of a pretentious bottled water, Voss might be a little on the nose. The weighty, shimmering column is more farcically grandiose than this sentence. It’s more of a silver-plated water feature than it is a bottle. The cylindrical glass tower could be an early-22nd-century hamster urn or a time capsule that a terminally ill, eccentric millionaire would demand to have his sperm cryogenically frozen in.

It’s an almost painfully try-hard attempt to rebrand that everyday transparent fluid, vital to human survival, as something elegant, cool, and classy.

Briggs also explains that its a cyclical effect, as Voss’ pricing lends to it’s brand strength, but at the same time, it’s brand strength gives it an excuse to push the price up even further.

The price tag is audacious for a few uppity gulps. It’s upwards of $2.20 for 375 ml (just over a can’s worth) or $3.80 for 800 ml. As with all dumb fucking brands, the ridiculous pricing is contributing to its perceived exclusivity and worth. What could justify that price tag?

Check out the full article on VICE.