We make no effort to hide our disdain for Piers Morgan here at 2OV, and he really does make it easy.
Even the people he works with on TV can hardly stand him (HERE), but every time he writes his Daily Mail column it’s another reminder of what a tosser the man who regularly brown noses Trump really is.
Take for example his latest effort, which runs under this mouthful – “Hearty congratulations, Harry, you picked a real keeper (even if your romance did destroy my beautiful friendship with the amazing Meghan Markle)”.
In the column he recounts the day he met Meghan, which just happened to be the same weekend she met Harry. Turns out Piers hit Meghan up on Twitter, and the two agreed to meet at Piers’ local pub.
First up let’s deal with those DMs on Twitter, Piers with the art of the humblebrag:
Well hello there, thanks for the follow,’ she immediately responded by Direct Message. ‘Big fan of yours!’
We had an amusing discussion about my Suits addiction, which culminated in Meghan offering to send me early links to forthcoming episodes so I could watch them before anyone else…
Meghan was at Wimbledon tennis that day (June 29, 2016) to watch our mutual friend Serena Williams.
“Serena sends her love,’ she said a little later, ‘you’re very popular as it turns out, who knew”…
Yes, who knew?
Next let’s deal with their meeting at the Scarsdale Tavern in Kensington, West London:
She looked every inch the Hollywood superstar – very slim, very leggy, very elegant and impossibly glamorous. She was even wearing the obligatory big black shades beloved of LA thespians.
The landlord Ray, not a man easily impressed or given to raw emotion, was dumbstruck.
‘Blimey,’ he whispered as I ordered the drinks, ‘she’s a stunner – who’s THAT?’
Judging by the eye-popping way the handful of other customers reacted when she glided inside, Ray was speaking for the whole pub…
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she behaves in a pub, and I thought Meghan was fabulous; warm, funny, intelligent, and highly entertaining.
Did he mention that he met her?
‘What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done,’ I asked.
‘Oh God,’ she cried, laughing out loud in shame, ‘I was one of the briefcase girls on Deal Or No Deal [the US version]. I cringe myself when I think about it now, but it paid the rent.’
‘What number case were you?’
‘24, which nobody ever chose. I’d stand there for hours in very cheap very high heels waiting for someone to pick me so I could sit down again, and it hardly ever happened.’
That bit is true – check it:
Don’t reckon she’ll be back on that show any time soon, given that Harry is worth a pretty penny (HERE).
Of course Piers is at the centre of Harry and Meghan’s romance, although this time he didn’t have to be involved in any phone hacking to figure that out:
Around 7.45pm, Meghan received a flurry of text messages and eventually apologised and checked her phone.
She read them, smiled, slightly blushed and then shook her head.
‘I’m recently single again,’ she explained, ‘so I’ve got a few guys being a little… persistent!’
…Buried away in the details was a line saying they got together during her trip to London back in June, after a dinner party in a Mayfair private members club.
It must have been THAT dinner party at 5 Hertford Street.
And those flirtatious texts she received in the pub, I’m pretty certain, were from Harry.
The romance of Meghan and Harry meant the death of their budding friendship, because one thing most of us share with the Royal Family is a hatred of Piers Morgan:
I didn’t hear from Meghan again after her royal romance erupted into the public gaze, which is perfectly understandable under the circumstances (though I desperately miss her sending me those early Suits episode links!)
I’m guessing the words “Hey darling, fancy going to the pub with my ex tabloid newspaper editor mate Piers?” were never going to go down very well with His Royal Highness, even if we are neighbours and I was once quite pally with his mum Diana.
All will be forgiven though if I get an invite to the wedding of the year.
Or better still, an invite to Harry’s stag night, which has all the potential to be an even more historic event.
In the meantime, I congratulate them both on their engagement.
She most definitely Suits you, Sir.
You just know they would have been besties but hey, another dose of rotten luck for Piers.
It’s almost like karma does exist.
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