That smug bastard above is Bibi, and Bibi is better than you because he holds a Guinness World Record.

Yes, there is a Guinness World Record for most dice balanced on a cat’s paw, which just proves that half of the battle of holding a world record is finding something obscure that nobody has ever thought of.

Well done, Bibi.

With the help of the Telegraph, let’s take a look at some other oddball entries in the latest edition of the Guinness World Records book.

Most body modifications (male)

German Rolf Buchholz has 516 tattoos, piercings and implants. More than 200 of those are in his penis.

Most fire-breathing backflips in a minute

Ryan Luney did 14 flips and now he’s flame-ous.

Longest duration balancing a guitar on the forehead

The longest duration balancing a guitar on the forehead is 7 minutes and 3,9 seconds, achieved by Josh Horton in Dallas, Texas, on November 17, 2017.

Hey, as long as he doesn’t play ‘Wonderwall’ on it.

Most sausages made in a minute

Irish butcher Barry John Crowe made 78 sausages in a single minute. Vegans must hate him.

Most consecutive one-handed backflips

That’s our own Zama Mofokeng, who nailed his place in the record books with this effort on March 4, 2017:

Good luck beating that.

Longest time controlling a football with the soles whilst on the roof of a moving car

Cool record, Ash Randall. On November 15, 2014, Ash performed his feat at Cardiff Airport for 93 seconds.

Let’s finish with a man who should almost certainly be in prison.

Largest collection of clown-related items