When I say ‘after lockdown’, I’m not talking about tomorrow (May 1), when things relax a bit and we can actually leave our homes.

(But only between certain hours, and you can kiss those cigarettes goodbye.)

No, I’m talking about after the global lockdown – when we are allowed to travel. I’m talking Europe. I’m talking the Med.

Life at Cabine du Cap is great, don’t get me wrong (see that picture above – not too shabby), but we’ve been hitting France and Italy every year around June for a long time now. My French is at a level where I can order food, make a restaurant reservation, and ask basic questions in a market. But in terms of conversation, you could say I’m limited.

The first year I went to France on an extended trip, I did a bit of the Michel Thomas CD set.

Then each year I would do it again. Eventually, he put an app together and that made things easier.

Here’s a pro tip I learnt from Michel Thomas: virtually all English words that end with ‘ion’ are from French.

It works – I remember in my early days hitting the French markets and getting stuck when asking the one chap for a scoop of olives. I didn’t know how to say ‘scoop’ in French, but I did remember the tip I just gave you. I quickly scanned my brain for a word ending in ‘ion’ that I could use instead of ‘scoop’ and landed on ‘portion’. So I said ‘portion’ with a french twist and I was A for Away!

Not to say French can’t be complicated. You must have seen the hilarious ‘ton tonton tond thon’ TikTok video?

So anyway, tech has progressed quite a lot since then.

That’s right – live translations in your ear are now a reality.

Check this out:

It’s hard to deny how awesome this product is. There must even be a multitude of business opportunities available to entrepreneurs. In the tourism market here at home, perhaps?

They even work with groups of people – imagine being a tour guide and letting groups of different languages book tours.

I checked them out over on Amazon (here) and I’ll be dusting off my Postbox Courier account to get them delivered to my US address, and then delivered into my hands in Cape Town, when lockdown laws permit.

Look, the whole process is simple:

Bang, through customs, and there’s a polite knock on my door and the goodies are in my hand.

Bonjour and merci – look at me, nailing it already.

Can you imagine ordering anything online after lockdown, without Postbox Courier?

Pffft. Looking for trouble.