[imagesource: Natalie Dee]
What do you get somebody who has everything?
It’s the kind of question I would imagine is asked en route to Constantia Village, before you end up buying a nice bottle of booze because you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.
Extra points if you can somehow wangle a box of cigarettes to chuck in, because they remain a highly sought after commodity.
If you really want to think outside of the box, and the person you’re buying the gift for has a decent sense of humour, it might be worth having a gander at the popular blog, The Worst Things For Sale.
Each day, one dubious item available for online purchase is uploaded to the blog, and scrolling through the options is quite a ride.
For example, the Safe Ostrich Ball, which is just plain strange, Prank Star Poo Dough, which speaks for itself, and Bobby Bully.
Let’s dig deeper into ‘ol Bobby:
When you get bored of the typical punching-bag or adult-bad-guy targets to carry out your martial artistry, Bobby Bully is here to be your four-foot-two target of hand- and foot-based violence. It’s more realistic than the jaunty, infographic-styled purple Practice Buddy, though I have no doubt that any true practitioner of child-fighting needs both.
“My son loves to beat … when he is mad. It’s the perfect size for my 6-year-old,” says one unconcerned mom. “My very destructive nephews … beat up Bobby instead of my husband and me,” adds another.
That might seem slightly insane, but from where I stand, if you don’t use consumer goods to address the symptoms of your problem instead of addressing the problem itself, then it ain’t god-damned America.
There are even two height adjustments, so your kid can fight back against bullies of variable sizes. Peak ‘Merica.
Do you have your doubts about the current, universally accepted design for mugs? Enter the Lap Mug:
The Lap Mug is designed to be held in your lap, between your legs (see the manufacturer’s in-use picture for how, I guess, it’s meant to be used.)
It would be a great idea, except you can also put a flat-bottomed mug on your lap, and you can set that on a table when it’s full without spilling.
There is a 100% certainty that using the mug above will result in hot fluids to the groin area.
It’s a no from me.
Scrolling back to late May, I did find one item that may actually come in handy for the work Zoom call.
Wearing your pyjamas is fine, but how about the Traxedo?
The Traxedo is a great way to look like you’re wearing a weird plastic tuxedo at the gym. Or like you’re wearing a weird plastic tuxedo at someone’s wedding. Truly the worst of both worlds.
There’s also a version of it in baby blue, in case that’s… more… something… for you. Neither of them hold a candle to the $169 Suitjamas, a combination of a suit with a set of men’s pajamas.
Does anybody need a Traxedo? Absolutely not, but when has that ever stopped us from shopping?
Other recent favourites include the Dog Collar Bottle Opener (good boy!), and the Selfie Toaster (I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed).
Admit it – some of these caught your eye. The products don’t all ship to South Africa, either, but that’s a problem with a simple solution.
Postbox Courier’s service gives you a FREE shipping address in the US, UK and Hong Kong, where your orders can be delivered, and they will then courier the products, to your door in South Africa, in three to five working days.
No hassle at customs, no nasty last-minute import taxes and fees, and no having to explain to an official why you’ve ordered something weird from overseas.
You can also ask Postbox Courier for a free quotation before confirming any deliveries.
So, what do you get for the person who has everything?
You can stick with that bottle of booze, but years down the line, nobody remembers that.
Traxedo for the win.
[source:worstthingsforsale]
