[imagesource: iStock Photo]
Sometimes, nature takes its course and lets one rip in the most unfortunate of circumstances.
We all have an embarrassing story that’s revolved around flatulence, but very few of us can say that it happened while getting a tattoo on our buttocks.
Except for plus size model Tracey Munter from Rotherham, South Yorkshire, England.
As a vintage film fan, Munter was in the process of getting a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur, when all hell let loose.
Something like this?
She was at the Ink It Good Tattoo Emporium on Wellgate in 2016 to have the finishing touches applied by tattoo artist Jason Burns.
The inking session was going just fine until both of them were left in need of emergency hospital treatment after Munter accidentally farted a little.
Here’s Burns (ironic) with the story, via The Rotherham Bugle:
“It was a big job in more ways than one.” he told us.
“I’d just lit a roll up and was finishing off a centurions helmet. It’s delicate, close up work.
Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston’s whip, and a hissing sound – more of a whoosh than a rasp – and before I know what’s happening, there’s a flame shooting from her arse to my fag and my beards gone up like an Aussie bush fire.”
Gotta love that classic British humour.
It turns out, the flames from Burns’ cigarette had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to Munter’s thong, which was left smoking like a “cheap firework”.
Burns had to dash to the sink to put out the flame that had caught on his beard, while Munter was “frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel.”
Burns had no clue that the thong was even there to catch alight in the first place:
“To be honest”, said Jason, “I didn’t even realise she was wearing one. You’d need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there and I’d have been none the wiser.”
The tattoo artist and his client were consequently rushed to the hospital to be treated for minor burns and shock.
And then they fought over who was to blame:
“I’m furious” said Jason, “I’ve got a face like a mange-ridden dog and my left eyebrows not there any more. I don’t know about Ben Hur – Gone With The Wind’s more like it. You don’t just let rip in someone’s face like that. It’s dangerous.”
Munter stood up for herself:
“I’m still in agony,” she said, “and Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn’t have had a fag on the go and there’s no way I’d guff on purpose.
He’d had me on all fours for nearly an hour. I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that. I give him my five second warning and I’d have done the same for Jason, but I didn’t get chance – it just crept out.”
That should be easy to sympathise with, but Burns didn’t seem to see that.
I guess being left with just one eyebrow will do that to a person.
Ted Walters from the South Yorkshire Fire and Rescue Service says that people just don’t realise the dangers (of flatulence it seems, not specifically smoking while tattooing):
“We get called out to more flatulence ignition incidents than kitchen fires these days, now people have moved over to oven chips. We have a slogan ‘Flame ‘n fart – keep ’em apart’.
Anyone engaging in an arse inking scenario would do well to bear that in mind in future.”
Now you know.
(Thanks to Seth’s dad, for this hilarious tale).
[source:therotherhambugle]
