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2oceansvibe Columnists
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Grow Up, Children
04 May 2011 by Lindsay Williams / No Comments
May 18 is coming up, which is a relief given that by that date South Africans will have endured 11 days of unbroken work without a public holiday. When is the ANC going to realize that if they want to keep the 25% unemployed happy, we need more holidays, not fewer. How are these people that have been failed so spectacularly by the government supposed to feel part of society when the rest of us are out working?
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Curio-Shop Afro-Motif Music: Who Will Rid Us Of This Sad Sight?
02 May 2011 by Sipho Hlongwane / 6 Comments
To get to my mother’s desk I had to walk through a curio shop. It was one of those dreadfully cheesy African curio shops, with the carved wooden and stone animals, the beads and the bowls, like you find at any South African airport, the Moyo restaurants and the Durban beachfront. I have that exact same feeling (as if I’m back in that curio shop) when I come across certain music videos made by South African bands. What is with this new trend with our bands who think that by merely smearing white face paint across their videos it will make them mysterious and exotic?
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Utter Bull
28 Apr 2011 by Steve Morris / 1 Comment
While I hate to be negative about sportsmen who are much more talented than I ever was, and try their hardest to perform well, I have to make an exception this week. The Bull’s second half performance on Saturday against a very average Western Force outfit was planlose* to say the least. Worst of all, [...]
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God Save The King
28 Apr 2011 by Lindsay Williams / 1 Comment
Prince William seems like a decent bloke. Genetically though, he’s been dealt a difficult hand by life, in all her ruthless vagary. His father, Prince Charles – on the occasion of his painful press conference to mark his engagement to the fragrant, dim-witted, but virginal Lady Diana Spencer – so infamously replied to the question [...]
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Malema Vs AfriForum/TAU: Counting The Cost
25 Apr 2011 by Sipho Hlongwane / 10 Comments
It was at 02h33 just this morning when Dead American Writers cut through my sleep. I reached out to grab my ringing cellphone, my senses still dulled and drugged by the heavy slumber I had been so rudely pulled out of. Who the hell would call me at that hour? Was it my colleagues, about to breathlessly announce that we need a story chop-chop? Were the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse upon us? Had Nelson Mandela finally passed on?
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At Sixes And Sevens About Our Eight
22 Apr 2011 by Steve Morris / 3 Comments
Against a backdrop of a 51 man Springbok squad named by the Bok selectors this week, Morrey assesses options at loose forwar,d with a trophy to defend in September.
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Stop The Pigeon
20 Apr 2011 by Lindsay Williams / 2 Comments
For reasons that need not detain us, one day last week I found myself in the early hours of the morning watching the Hanna-Barbera cartoon “Stop the Pigeon”. If you ever feel that your mind is slightly out of synch with the rest of the world’s, and that perhaps you should visit a good nerve [...]
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Forget Pretoria, The Worst Place To Race A Car In This Country
18 Apr 2011 by Sipho Hlongwane / No Comments
Terrible things happen in Pretoria. Three people were killed when their drag race went horribly wrong on Voortrekker Road on 3 April. But that doesn’t mean that it’s anywhere near the best place to die in a car crash in this country.
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For Pete’s Sake – Your’s And Mine
14 Apr 2011 by Steve Morris / 13 Comments
I’ve been talking to rugby people for the past seven weeks and the amount of anti-Peter De Villiers talk is very concerning. What do you want from the man? In the build up to the world cup I think we should put a ban on all “Snor” bashing.
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I Watched SABC TV, So You Don’t Have To – by Sipho Hlongwane
11 Apr 2011 by Sipho Hlongwane / 5 Comments
In the olden days, when certain people wanted to appear superior to everyone else in the room, they’d loudly proclaim, “Oh, but I don’t watch TV.” Usually in the middle of a riveting conversation on the exact hue of Tamara Dey’s lipstick, or something as earth-shatteringly important as that. “TV is filled with such junk, [...]
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Brave New World
06 Apr 2011 by Lindsay Williams / No Comments
Two years ago I sought the counsel of a brainy acquaintance of mine on the subject of my flagging and flaccid career as a broadcaster. In his study was a device that was to be the prop that formed the basis of his argument. Here was a gizmo that allowed this pale and interesting fish to tune into digital radio in far flung territories at the flick of a dial. This, he said, is the future of broadcasting. Go forth, he said, as casually as he might buy some more Japanese stocks.
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A Philosophical Treatise On Man Flu – Sipho Hlongwane
04 Apr 2011 by Sipho Hlongwane / No Comments
“It’s called summer flu,” my friend said. I’d never heard of it. Summer flu? Sounded serious. Dangerous, even. My lower lip quivered. “It’s like normal flu, only it happens in the summer when it’s hot so it seems much, much worse,” my friend said. Oh. So I wasn’t dying after all. I must remember to put my doctor on speed dial, though. You can’t be too careful with this sort of thing.
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Schabir Shaik for President!
28 Mar 2011 by Sipho Hlongwane / No Comments
Good news, ye trodden under masses of South Africa! ‘Anonymous’ has finally taken note of your plight and you can expect deliverance from your daily misery as soon as before the Rugby World Cup ends! So rise up and conquer, People! What are you waiting for?
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Introducing Sipho Hlongwane
28 Mar 2011 by silverstreak / 1 Comment
Long-time readers will have noticed that 2oceansvibe has undergone significant changes over the course of the last year. All of the change has had one goal in mind: to bring you better content, every day – you know, stuff that people really talk about. To that end, we’re happy to announce that Sipho Hlongwane will [...]
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