When someone first arrives on your doorstep, what do they see? They’ll see one of two things:

1) The barren, unwelcoming ground, or

2) An annoyingly functional doormat that tells all who enter that you are, for all intents and purposes, a doormat.

Don’t do that. Don’t be that guy. Look how much personality a moustache doormat will buy you. You’ll have a whole friendship circle by the weekend, I guarantee it.*

Impressed? So are we. It’ll be delivered to you in this fetching tube, signed by one Seth Rotherham himself. (You may or may not get a lipstick kiss, dependent on the day’s outfit.)

Independent experts confirmed the superior quality of the moustache doormat.

Here we have the moustache doormat uniting formerly antagonistic work colleagues in a bind of friendship.

So, what on earth are you waiting for? Bless your feet. Bless your life. Get a moustache doormat, HERE.

*We don’t at all guarantee it.