Thursday, June 19, 2025

This Is How You Chat Up Foreigners In Cape Town

Imagine if, in six weeks time, you could catch yourself a lovely foreign supermodel, take it home to mum and dad, and show off our most famous South African tradition.

Ladies, meet Jon Kortajarena and Andres Velencoso:

Gents, meet Ariadne Artiles and Clara Alonso:

These four glorious looking people all speak Spanish, and you probably cannot, thus you will never be able to chat them up in a bar. If you did THIS foreign language course though, you could at least invite them over to experience a legit South African braai (and all of us know that the best thing to put on your braai meat is Jimmy’s sauce).

Here are your very well discounted foreign languages prices:

R999 for One Six-month Language Course (R7439.15 value)
R1 299 for One 12-month Language Course (R13 312.16 value)
R1 499 for Two 12-month Language Courses (R22 054.54 value)
R1 599 for One 24-month Language Course (R22 181.90 value)
R1 699 for Two 24-month Language Courses (R31 315.62 value)

Guys, that’s a ridiculous saving. It’s like, 85%!
Once you’ve invited your new buddies over, you’re going to teach them a few South Africanisms, like ‘braai’, ‘boerie’ and ‘dop’. You’re also going to show them how to really marinade meat. You can even give them this to take home:
Thats a 375ml Jimmy’s Steakhouse Sauce, a 750ml Jimmy’s Steakhouse Sauce, a 200g Jimmy’s Seasoning and a 500g Jimmy’s Braai Salt. I’m pretty sure those will also come in handy when you’re watching the Super15 with your mates for the next five billion months.
Adiós and disfrutar de su comida.
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BONUS CONTENT: Here’s Foreigner, singing ‘I Want To Know What Love Is..