Our little girl… all grown up.   Britney Spears poses with Kevin Federline’s spawn And if you think I’m going to believe that is a real soldier standing behind you, then you’re VERY mistaken. I’m not an idiot. That soldier is a fake. He doesn’t even have proper hands! God, people try anything these days!

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That’s right! Matthew Broderick has been cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker‘s mole and she is now apparently leaving him.   Sarah was always slightly taller than Matthew.   The globally recognised, high-quality publication, Star reports that SJP is moving out, with her mole, and has begun house hunting in New York City. He (Ferris Bueller, […]

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Manchester United winger, Cristiano Ronaldo managed to escape without a scratch yesterday, as he lost control of his R2.5 million Ferrari in a Manchester airport tunnel.   Not ideal   This, from The Sun:   CRISTIANO Ronaldo obliterated his Ferrari after losing control of his £200,000 supercar. The lucky Manchester Utd winger escaped without a […]

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Four words – Fuck The Credit Crunch. Those of you who entered the Kika-Sack competition (competition is now closed, btw) earlier this week will know that there was a consolation prize for those who entered but didn’t win; of a free voucher to this week’s Euromillions Lottery. You see, here at 2oceansvibe, everyone is a […]

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Well this is just great! I received an email from Warren L, telling me about some statue on a rock and this accompanying iol article.   Large statue keeps beachgoers guessing January 08 2009 at 11:05AM By Michelle Jones Alien. Tribute. Mime artist. Religious statement. Mummy. A gift from God. These are just some of […]

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I’ve had this for a few days but just wanted the dust to settle before blowing your minds again, with this, the first TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) sighting of 2009. Andreas’s life changed forever that night, as destiny and the universe joined for one purpose and one purpose alone – to give him the one […]

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It is clearly that time of year when those of you who are back at your desks don’t have THAT much to do, particularly when we all know about the Cape Town January Rule . You’ve probably set up a bin in the corner of the office and have had paper throwing competitions. Time seems […]

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I’ll be honest, it’s actually 10 at night and I’ve timed this article to come out in the morning, to grace you with more pearls of glory. Good morning! It all started at 1pm, you see. At La Perla. A boys lunch. It was me, “The Big H” and “The Dude” (fresh from his Kika-Sack […]

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I was very impressed when the box of 2oceansvibe Kika-Sack balls arrived at my door. With the 2010 FIFA Soccer World Cup hitting town in the not-too-distant future, I couldn’t think of a better branding exercise. I mean, check how cool are these little guys?   2oceansvibe branded KIKA-SACK balls I know! How stunning? So […]

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Judging by the 2oceansvibe stats, most of you seem to be getting back into the office this week. Welcome back. 2009 is going to be the greatest year of your life. FACT. I trust your fellow office workers, colleagues and clients understand the Cape Town January Rule? You know, the (no longer) unwritten rule that […]

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Just when we thought 2009 was going smoothly, this happens! The bizarre helmet religious war continues, as we take in images from this, an unprecedented attack at a Groot Constantia wine tasting. Readers are warned that the following image may cause vomiting.   An incredibly thick-skinned cyclist parades indoors with his helmet on   Now […]

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It’s getting closer and closer (four more sleeps to be exact) to Cape Town’s most glamorous and exclusive social event – the 148th running of the Queen’s Plate! And what a brilliant date they have set! Not too close to New Year, but enough time to gather our senses, get some R&R, top up our […]

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With the festive season reaching roughly the half way mark, I am sure we have all taken a moment to consider our waist lines. Personally, I’ve pretty much nailed it with regards to diet. So much so that I am dangerously close to publishing The Rotherham Diet. It’s pretty cool and includes minimum exercise and […]

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By now you would have picked up on the sad death of John Travolta’s son, Jett. January 2, 2009 – NASSAU (Reuters) – The teenage son of actor John Travolta died suddenly on Friday during a family vacation in the Bahamas, according to police and the family’s lawyer. Jett Travolta, 16, suffered a seizure at […]

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Wow, I tell you, I didn’t expect it to go this far. And don’t think that you’ve seen this one before, because you haven’t. Not on these esteemed pages anyway. You will remember our various car articles and, in particular, this one about the Ferrari driving around with a CA 1 WP numberplate. That was […]

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Ok, here we all are. Welcome back. Good to see you. I beg your pardon? How am I? Oh, VERY well thank you. A little bit tired after indulging in one of the better weddings I have been to in my life. On the banks of a river, somewhere near Elgin. Check out the place […]

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We’ve been working with a “skeleton staff” over the last few days and I would like to take this very opportunity to announce that we will be reporting on things, as usual, from Monday – the 5th of Jan (I think). I’m back from Hermanus and back in The Safe House. It’s back to normal. […]

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Yes, I know.  

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Personally I have made no plans yet for New Year. If I was in Cape Town then it would definitely be either Caprice or The Mount Nelson. But I’m in Hermanus and everyone is looking at each other for answers. That includes the two youngsters who were a tad premature with their New Year celebrations […]

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God, it’s all just so “festive,” isn’t it? People just LOVE throwing around the word “festive.” And then they frill it up a little more with the word “cheer.” Oh, there is just so much FESTIVE CHEER abound, don’t you think? I looked up festive in this book I wrote ages ago entitled “The Dictionary” […]

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I tell you, it’s been a few years since I did New Year at The Mount Nelson. The last time was a bit of a blur but, funnily enough, it came up in conversation this week. The Fabrics Guy and I agreed that the last one got a full 10 out of 10, I asked […]

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The Personal Jukebox spotted this lovely scene at McDonald’s in Canal Walk.   THE WORLD CUP STARTS IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS!   Not only can you feel like a supermodel when you shop at Canal Walk, but you can experience time travel at the same time! You never have to leave!

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Matt O drew my attention to this ad on Gumtree, advertising the following numberplate.   Personalised number plate! LUV KIDS-WP Price Neg. Much sought after plate.. I don’t know how “highly sought after” a numberplate like that is. I mean, if it was owned by a baby sitting/nanny service, like www.childminders.co.za, then I don’t have […]

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Given his history of banging their staff, it is kind of expected that Victoria Beckham pulled the plug on a planned hour long interview upon arrival in Milan this week. Especially after she did a spot of Googling with regards to the interviewer. These pictures were probably very similar to the pics she found. Ilaria […]

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Miss Russia, Kseniya Sukhinova, opted against moving to Cape Town and working at Mavericks, and has now become Miss World. I very much doubt it pays as well.   Miss India, Miss Russia and Miss Trinidad & Tobago Jeepers, Miss Trinidad & Tobago is throwing QUITE a vibe there. Read more here, if your levels […]

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Paris Hilton has finally fulfilled her childhood dream of owning a car like the children’s toy doll, Barbie. Stunning. I had the same dream when it came to Noddy’s car that he used to drive. But then the shit hit the fan when his African friend, Golliwog, had to change his name, with regulators citing […]

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As the urge for men in their 20’s and 30’s to wear formal hats increases, so too does the confusion over which hat is which. In particular, the trilby versus the fedora. Davidoff (The Rocker), from The Dirty Skirts, for example, calls any old hat a trilby. Because he LIKES saying it. It makes him […]

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Fresh from not inviting me to his birthday party, Goldfish’s Dom sent this in, which earns him minimal points as he begins the mammoth climb back into the good books. You would have caught the various attacks along the Atlantic Seaboard, with regards to cyclists entering and dining in restaurants and eateries with their helmets […]

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This is why I prefer to shop at Woolworths. Organic mature cheddar (my choice) vs. Parmalat Yumchum Ass. I’ve never seen a Yumchum, let alone a Yumchum’s ass. Is it like a Bum Chum?   Some, err, ASS for you, Sir? Tsk tsk. Naughty.   [thanks zone]

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This video has been voted the number one video for 2008 on the internet by a number of publications. Not least of which is Time Magazine. Not that a magazine about clocks should carry any clout. But they do anyway, somehow.. The video has been seen over 17 million times and is the brief story […]

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