Thursday, July 24, 2025

Portland Just Drained Their 30 Million Litre Reservoir Because A Hipster Whizzed In It

That is correct. When your city is striving to provide you with only the best artisanal water that mother nature can provide, it is simply not acceptable to introduce hipster urine to the supply. This, from Time: The Portland Water Bureau got pretty pissed off when cameras caught 21-year-old Josh Seater from Molalla, Oregon, urinating […]

Pimp Sues Nike After He Beat Client With Shoes

Yes, really. A 26 year-old pimp from Portland, Oregon, has just filed a R1 billion lawsuit against Nike – because he believes they are partially responsible for the brutal beating that landed him a 100-year prison sentence.

Man Commits Suicide On Stage, Gets Cheered

One cannot but be amazed and horrified at the actions of Kipp Rusty Walker of Bend, Oregon, who stabbed himself to death on stage, in front of a live audience. Kipp had just finished playing a song called “Sorry For All the Mess”, at an open mike night at Strictly Organic Coffee Co. when he repeatedly stabbed himself in the chest with a six-inch knife.