But want to share her with you
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My friends and I play a very annoying game which has to do with "claiming" people and things. It's all about being the first person in the group to basically cause a scene about a certain person, place or thing. I'll give you an example:

Friend 1: "Jesus, Natalie Portman is looking hot! I'm claiming her."

Friend 2: "Bullshit! I claimed her in Star Wars!"

Friend 3: "Oh Please! Don't get fucking smart, I claimed her in The Professional when she was 13. Please don't get clever. I've claimed her! Find someone else"

Honestly, the whole claiming thing can get quite ugly. For the record, I did actually claim Natalie Portman when she played Matilda in 'The Professional' (which also used the title 'Leon' overseas). Some people get desperate and lie when they FIRST saw the person (an essential element in claiming someone). Sometimes it works, but it usually doesn't. So when other people starting oooing and aaahing about Natalie Portman, I'm allowed to proudly claim, "Yup, I claimed her years ago". Friends should acknowledge this fact and should almost congratulate me.

People can also claim places. That will therefore make you the authority on a particular area. Some of them are obvious claims and there won't be any fighting. For example, I claimed Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard in the United States. No one can dispute that, as I have been several times and only a handful of my friends have. Whenever Cape Cod or Martha's Vineyard comes up in conversation, I'm the guy.

The real joy comes when something that is very obviously your claim, is mentioned on TV or any other media form. The others in the vicinity who are aware that the particular place (being mentioned on TV) is one of your claims, should simply nod and smile at you. You give them a satisfied smile and nod back. That is a successful claim - no disputes - a rare occurrence. There are usually arguments, particularly with famous women.

I have a semi-delusional friend who is currently laying claim to the following areas: Simonstown, Fish Hoek, Kommetjie, Scarborough, Noordhoek, Woodstock AND Harfield Village. Clearly getting carried away. A classic sign of getting carried away is when you grow up in a certain area and assume that you can therefore lay claim to all surrounding areas. That's just not how it works. The SAME friend also claims the following rugby sides: Scotland, Ireland, Wales and New Zealand. He'll claim heritage in the form of something that none of his friends can prove - like a dead Grandfather. It is unfortunate, because now no-one believes any of his claims anymore.

Back to the point of this article. ADRIANA LIMA.

I know. Mind blowing. I claimed Adriana Lima MANY MANY years ago. Adriana Lima is now a Victoria's Secret and swimsuit supermodel. She is something to behold. The extent of her exposure when I claimed her was a mere mention NOW AND THEN on Fashion TV. I claimed her then - at LEAST 5 years ago when I lived in London. Now, I see my little angel is on the latest cover of the American GQ. She's now hitting major headlines and I fear that there are guys out there trying to claim her. Leave it, guys. I claimed her before you even knew she existed.

And so, because I am aware of what a fantastic claim I have, I am allowing all of you to lose your minds over one of God's greatest creations. But please, keep in mind, I've claimed her.

CLICK HERE FOR Adriana Lima photo gallery
Beware, this gallery also includes a couple of (tasteful) nude photos of Adriana Lima.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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