The Bheki Cele example
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In case you missed it, Kwazulu/Natal MEC for TRANSPORT, Bheki Cele, has hit out at critics and vehemently defended his motorcade's use of blue lights the other day, BECAUSE HE WAS LATE FOR A MEETING!

Cele went on to say that flashing blue lights were used for emergencies and his being late for a meeting, "constitutes an emergency."

By this fact, and using the Bheki Cele mathematics dictionary, we can deduce the following:

If x = Real Time - Africa Time

and Bheki's lateness for a meeting = emergency (given)

and lateness for a meeting = Real Time - Africa Time (given)

then x = emergency

Therefore: Africa Time - Real Time = emergency

This obviously differs greatly from the dictionary definition of 'emergency' which describes: "a sudden unforeseen crisis (usually involving danger) that requires immediate action."

Bheki's being late for a meeting is not a fucking "crisis".

Bheki Cele (centre) having an emergency meeting

As much as everyone agrees that he is off his head, this anger we feel is far outweighed by the pure uncut embarrassment we feel when yet another one of our ministers is seen by the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD to be publicly and confidently trying to justify being late for a meeting as an 'emergency'. Do you know what everyone says the moment they hear that, Bheki? It's QUITE simple and it's QUITE obvious. I know because I just said it to myself:

Who the FUCK does Bheki Cele think he is?

And for Bheki Cele to not have the basic understanding of how actions convert to reactions is just too alarming for words. Any semi-politically minded individual and anyone with HALF a brain would LIE and make up another excuse. But for him to not be AWARE of the potential public outcry following such a ludicrous statement, is just beyond me! This VERY CLEARLY illustrates that the minister has absolutely ZERO understanding of politics and general human behaviour and is devoid of any social skills, principles or conscience. In fact, it frighteningly lends itself to the Mugabe/Hitler errant moral compass - that which screams complete arrogance and utter belief in one's carious standards.

You think I'm exaggerating? I swear to God there are more than just a handful of foreigners overseas reading this morning's article on the internet, saying JUST THAT.

God, it's embarrassing.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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