And too keen for a free shot
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This 'piece' was published in April 2005 and, due to popular demand, we have decided to re-publish it, today!
Before I left for overseas (some of you were asking if I have returned. Yes, I have) I had quite a big night out at Eclipse in Camps Bay. The highlight was walking up to an attractive young lady at the bar and, with my hand outstreched for a hand-shake, asked her her name.
"Why do you want to know", she asked, looking at my hand like there was a fresh stool of Yorkshire Terrier's poo in it.
The discussion of Cape Town's chicks (yes, ok.... LADIES) came up quite a bit with friends of mine in the Northern Hemisphere and they agreed that things are coming to a head. Now I am obviously not referring to all the Cape Town girls, as we know there are some absolute angels out there. But there seems to be a problem (which is rapidly spreading) with a large number of them. The unfriendly attitude is becoming renowned and I am plagued with emails and commentary from all over the world asking what, in fact, the problem is with the Cape Town girls. Is it because of the influx of money and international stars to Cape Town that is confusing them? We do notice how drawn they are to Ferrari renting coke snorters and how easily it is for them to whore themselves to the likes of Jared Leto. Is it because of the influx of international models that perhaps cause them to try to out-do one another? It really is quite interesting.
More and more of the guys I know are opting to find their match on foreign shores - where there isn't this ....this.........what could only be described as 'wierdness'. Local girls in their mid to late twenties wonder why the eligible guys in their late twenties are doing talking to 18-23 year olds. It's quite simple, my angels....... they haven't been poisoned yet. But you have to be quick, guys, it can happen anytime between 18 and 23. Suddenly...BANG..... they've lost their minds and are trying to get into the pants of the Russian mafia boss who orders the most champagne and can't speak a word of English. We have seen far too many sweet angels turn into these monsters that we seem to find ourselves surrounded by. Some of us have had a closer look than others. No offense to those affected, but this argument is backed up by South Africa having one of the highest divorce rates in the World. I'd love to know what percentage per whatever is contributed by Cape Town. Let me ask you this. What is the rate of divorce for second marraiges? I have no idea what it is but I'm pretty fucking sure it's very low. Why is this? It is because we have all realised that we were looking for the wrong thing and what we really want is someone to talk to, someone to laugh with and someone to watch a DVD with next to the fireplace........ followed by some hot porn star sex over the back of the sofa.
As I said earlier, it is not ALL the ladies out there, but there is a LARGE amount ruining it for everyone. You're ruining it for the yourselves, the girls, the guys - and Cape Town. Stop counting the free vodka red bulls, little angels, and come down to earth. Your vagina is not a currency.
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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