Revealing a DISTINCT lack of class
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It really is sad to witness the airs and graces of someone trying so hard to be of a certain status or caliber, but without the knowledge that mere conversation can very often be the most damning of evidence to the contrary. Whilst I'm sure everyone agrees that people should simply be themselves, David Bullard pretends to be of upper-class, but then, unwittingly, reveals himself as nothing but a commoner.

Sophisticated?
David Bullard - in disguise

Not that we've got anything against commoners. Heavens, I'm as common as the next person! It's just a minimal level of refinement that we're looking for here. My girlfriends in the past have come from a plethora of socioeconomic ranks and backgrounds, and it has never been an issue for me. Little things like how to hold a knife and fork are not a problem, as these issues are all covered in the Seth Rotherham Upliftment Programme (SRUP) which kicks in if the relationship gets to the third week. But, for example, when you're dealing with a racist nouveau riche princess with a habit of dropping BOTH the C and the K bombs, I'm afraid there is not much that can be done.

You see, it's not the actual WORDS that are uttered, it is the apparent assumption that I wouldn't be bothered by it. One can only deduce that these topics of conversation are more than commonplace in this person's world. Good heavens, my darling! You better get your things..

David Bullard, is one and the same.

Following the naive child-like article that earned him the notoriety he so richly craved, he still seems acutely unaware of what might constitute tacky conversation - the hallmark of a true commoner with zero refinement. This report from yesterday's iol:

"Early on, he reveals cockily that "for 14 years I have been conning you all, I have been writing this complete shit at R10 a word … (meaningful pause) which is not bad."

He's lived the high life, he's "pissed around the world in the sharp end of aeroplanes", driven the fastest cars, stayed in the best hotels, and so on. It's no wonder, he says, that other columnists have lavished invective on him."

Oh God, it's too emboerrissing to behold. He clearly doesn't know, does he?

*muffled, barely contained laughter*

Someone really should explain it to him. But, then again, rather don't. I do get a perverse thrill out of watching this all play out, like a freak show. It's a sick fetish of mine. In a way, it could be likened to the paraphilia witnessed in the movie Crash, with James Spader, where everyone was getting off on car accidents.

It's basically the same thing for me.

Let him carry on. This boob gives me a hard on.


Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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