Cleverness takes from the point
[permalink]

I wrote this story last month and decided not too publish it. I felt it was a tad too scathing and thought I was getting carried away. I have subsequently had a second person comment on the use of a pair of pliers in my 'Loose Bolt' story. I gave it some thought and decided to go ahead with it. Enjoy. - Seth

Aaaah, it's too special. When I'm writing my little pockets of words, I think a lot about changing words. I read over the article once or twice and then I send it on it's way to you. There will always be the odd unforced spelling mistake or grammar error. But then come the forced errors that the majority of you understand and enjoy. When I write the forced errors I always think to myself, "Now please, God, DON'T let someone email in and correct me for that". I'm happy to report that the frequency of these kinds of emailed corrections are few and far between. But they DO come along and they DO amuse.

Ian P wrote in this morning:

"Not being the most practical of men...I thought I would point out, as I suppose a million people have, that a spanner tightens nuts...pliers are for manipulating wire.."

Our friend was commenting on an article I did yesterday entitled "'Loose Bolt' shuts down nuclear reactor" regarding a newspaper article mentioning a 'loose bolt' as being a reason why the Western Cape had no power for five hours.

Thanks for that, Ian P. I'll begin by pointing out that neither a million, nor a couple of people have mentioned it. That's right, not even two people. (But you knew that a 'couple' meant 'two' - it's not just work tools that you're super-bright with). No, not even two. It's just the one. It's just little you. Little Ian P.

Now what size spanner was it, Ian P?

You see, my love, I was commenting on the lunacy of the reporter/interviewee even mentioning that something as absurd as a 'loose bolt' was to blame. The point is that we were probably expecting a reason to do with nuclear physics and power stations; a reason which we would SURELY not fully understand. Something as simple as a 'loose bolt' is, in fact, the last thing that we expect - hence the 'lunacy', and the subsequent humour we find in the statement. A loose bolt is something WE, as laymen, can deal understand. Jesus, it's something that WE (as laymen) can FIX OURSELVES! This is when we make it even more funny - thus enhancing the story further. In such an instant it actually makes it FUNNIER if, whilst ranting and raving, one makes a trivial error - enforcing how silly it all is. This, Ian P, is why I chose a pair of pliers instead of a spanner. That's how ridiculous it all is. And that further highlights how ridiculous your email was.

And anyway, if you misunderstood everything and wanted to be clever, you would have chosen a 'shifting' spanner. There is bound to be a great variation in bolt sizes in and around a nuclear power station and at least a shifting spanner can change sizes. One spanner would never do it - or were you thinking of taking a full set? Come to think of it, practically speaking, PLIERS would probably be more useful than one spanner. I'll have it a guess that a pair of pliers could tighten a bolt further than an ill-fitting spanner.

You're right, Ian P, you're not practical. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that you're completely and utterly impractical. I suggest a read of Lennon's "A Spaniard in the Works" where you're bound to get a mention.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
[permalink]