In an early morning sock drawer attack
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In the terrifying event of being approached by members of the public (never from behind, please), I am often asked a variety of questions pertaining to 2oceansvibe and my vibe in general. That, and crying mothers, begging me to touch their sick children, in the belief that I can heal.

One of the most popular topics of conversation is Mavis, my domestic executive. I have only written about Mavis a couple of times and she seems to have become a much loved character. Personally, I think she is on drugs.

You might remember last time when she wrote that note on my car (you might also remember one of our more challenged readers voicing his opinion on the incident). Other moments include her sick note and the time she thought she was Martha Stewart.

Nothing has been written about Mavis since then.

Until this morning.

I opened up my sock drawer and noticed a message.

The sock drawer had been sabotaged

The Safe House had been locked after she came to work yesterday, so it definitely wasn't a suicide note. I focused and took a closer look at the note.

QUITE bizarre!

For those of you who can't read notes, it reads, "Will you please ask Monday where is Friday 'cause I have a message from Sunday?"

I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. Was she attacking me? Was she putting a curse on me? I knew one thing, and that was that she is without a doubt on drugs. But then I realised that she gave a little clue at the end of the note. It had to do with my socks.

I bought seven pairs of socks in London during last year's Strengthening Ties Tour. Each pair has a day of the week written on the side of the socks. Here is a great example:

Here we see "Wednesday"

Mavis has clearly lost some of the socks and has realised that, unlike most pairs of black socks which one can mix and match, these have a SPECIFIC partner in each pair. Mavis knows full well that I don't have a secret box where I hide items of my own clothing from her, so there is no way that she honestly believes that I would miraculously know the whereabouts of whatever day of the week sock she is referring to. I can therefore only surmise that Mavis is making a joke.

A surprise morning joke in my sock drawer, in the form of a note.

Is that what this is, Mavis? A joke of sorts?

Is this what we do in our day whilst Master Seth is out there, working, healing children and saving lives? You know very well that I have NO CLUE where the fuck Monday, Sunday or Friday are. I don't even know where my favourite Tsubi jeans are with the tear above the knee. They've been gone for a week.

I've got a good idea though, as to the possible whereabouts of those particular days of the week. Maybe the days of the week you're looking for are with the sugar, toilet paper and wine gums that I seem to constantly run out of at a rate of knots?

Find those, and the socks will be there.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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