It's NEVER their fault
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This morning's article on News24 provides me with further boredom regarding drug mules who get caught smuggling drugs in and out of various countries (usually countries renowned for executing people for chewing chewing gum).

Johan van Wyk (clearly a local) finds himself enjoying the comforts of a jail in Mauritius, and will continue to do so for another six years. Johan was caught smuggling half a kilo of heroin into Mauritius.

Please enjoy what our boy had to say:

Van Wyk did a friend "a favour" on August 21 2003.

He was not told what the favour would involve, he just had to get there.

His mother, Hannetjie Lombaard of Cape Town, said on Wednesday that the friend met Van Wyk at a shopping centre in Cape Town and gave him a pair of new jeans, a T-shirt and a pair of running shoes he had to wear in order for "the guys in Mauritius to recognise you".

Police met Van Wyk at the airport in Mauritius.

Lombaard said: "They went with him to a hotel, where they searched his baggage. "They cut up his soap, his jeans, and eventually his running shoes. They found 480g of heroin hidden in the soles."

Only then did he realise that he had been used as a drug mule.

That is such bad luck. I would honestly feel really sorry for him, if it wasn't for the fact that his story is the BIGGEST LOAD OF BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD. "Only then did he realise he had been used as a drug mule". Whaaaaaah! Nothing short of hilarious!

"Hi Ant, it's Seth here!"

"Hey Seth!"

"Listen buddy, can you do me a favour?"

"Sure! Anything for you Seth! What is the favour."

"Well, the thing is, I can't tell you."

"Ok, that's absolutely fine. So what must I do."

"I'll meet you at Constantia Village shopping centre and I'll give you some clothes and shoes that you must wear so some people can recognise you."

"Fuck that sounds awesome! Where are the people?"

"In Mauritius. I need you to go there and I can't tell you why. But you must meet these people. And you must wear the clothes and shoes."

"That will be no problem whatsoever, Seth!"

That is basically what hairdresser Johan and his mother, Hannetjie, are trying to tell us happened. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU JOHANN!!!!

"No but it is real..."

"Shut your face, Hannetjie, you're only making this worse. Your son is a fucking liar!"

"No but his friend was lying to him!"

"Hannetjie, if you say another word I'm going to have to stuff a snooker ball in your mouth."

"No but..."

[snooker ball forced in mouth]

"mmm mmm mmm mm"

"That's better, Hannetjie".

Seriously though, I have been discussing this with friends a lot lately. Having recently been in Australia there was a lot of coverage regarding the Bali 9 or the Singapore 7 - I can't keep track of which is which. All I know is I get an overwhelming sense of boredom when I turn the page and see another article about people getting nailed for running drugs. Photos of them behind bars, crying and gaaning aan. Their parents appealing for these 'drug barons' to be taken down. "My son is innocent!". They get petitions together and even get the government involved, trying to get their children back.

Your kids are drug runners, my love. They fucked up and now they are being punished. I don't care what the circumstances were and how he was used. You can put me in EXACTLY the same position and I swear to God there will be a point where I will realise what I am getting into and will get out before I get too deep.

"But he was a scapegoat"

Who took that snooker ball out of Hannetjie's mouth?

It's like those guys who get paid a fortune to work in Iraq and when they get killed their family go absolutely mental. He was being paid danger-pay you idiot. BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING DANGEROUS IN IRAQ.

No more mules, please.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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