Euro Millions jackpot is completely off the charts
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I don't do a lot of online gambling or gaming or betting and thank God every day that I don't - because I'd be a fucking wreck. I know I'd get sucked in and enter into a downward vortex resulting in my putting the last of my world on red or black. I used to do that, by the way, when I worked my first job after school as a waiter at Bertie's Landing before it got sold (over and over again, with every new owner believing they could make it work). I would take half my weekly paycheck, go straight to an illegal casino in Sea Point (the early days) and put it all on red or black.

That's how crazy I am. I live on the edge. That's where I gotta be. That's what makes me sexy. That's what makes you want me. That, and my rapping skills.

So anyway, there is one online gaming thing I find quite tame and rather silly to ignore - and that is when Euromillions lottery goes ballistic and reaches a jackpot of 88 MILLION POUNDS! Yes, that is right, my friends. And don't lift a finger, I've already done the sum for you - it works out to R1.2 billion. That is some serious kizzash. God, that would save me a LOT of time. I'd only have to make another R800 million to reach my goal. Then I can focus more on making you laugh and healing children and working out what makes The TBG tick.

PLAY EURO MILLIONS LOTTERY
88 MILLION POUNDS IS TOUGH TO IGNORE

And let me tell you SOMETHING ELSE, capitan - this particular draw is what they call a "SUPERDRAW" which means that it simply "must be won". So if there are no winning numbers, then the winnings will be split amongst the next tier of winning numbers. You're virtually guaranteed of walking away a millionaire by Saturday morning. Welcome to your new life.

So that is what I am here to tell you about today - so you don't kick yourself afterwards and realise that a few clicks of your mouse could have sorted out that annoying bond of yours, or that new Chanel handbag, or that ton of saffron you needed for that special extravagant recipe you found.

It's 88 million Pounds, people - buy yourself a ticket before the end of Friday.

CLICK HERE FOR THE EURO MILLIONS LOTTERY
AND GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

So there you go! I've bought my tickets. If I win I'll do a mini-draw on 2oceansvibe for a couple million. You know, for a lag!
 

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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