As we get into character
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Hello friends.

Another year has passed and I, as your Commander-in-Chief, must, once again, tour key cities and strengthen ties between the people that matter - The 2oceansvibe community that continues to grow in strength and power, climbing ever closer to the ultimate goal of ruling the earth with the ever-etched-in-our-minds mantra, "Work is a sideline, live the holiday." A special place where people sun tan all day and drink champagne with The Hoff, whilst advising Jessica Alba on her blow job technique. A place where Paris Hilton begs for mercy and Britney is scolded for being late with the ironing. We're getting closer, people. Stick around.

The Big H will fetch me from Heathrow on Saturday morning with a six-pack of cold lager in the car, at which point we will be chauffer driven to my lodgings. The Fabrics Guy will be arriving at the same time and we will spend a couple of hours getting into character.

This is what people in London look like.

Proceedings will get underway at the nostalgic Pitcher and Piano, Fulham. Jugs of vodka red bull will be imbibed as we toast England's thumping at the hands of our multi-coloured non-racial Springboks. Feel free to include yourselves. Recess will be called when things get out of hand and we will return to our lodgings, so as to get into character for the next leg. All eyes will be on The Big H as he displays his wonderous technique of convincing A-list clubs that a visit from Seth Rotherham is nothing short of glorious. I believe previous years' first-choice, Bouji's, is out of favour and we will be gracing bigger and better things.

The UK Showbiz Guy will play lunch-host on the Sunday as we reflect on the first night and spend the afternoon contemplating our navels (omphaloskepsis). This will also provide a moment for the items and recorded messages The UK Showbiz Guy was given by The Hoff to be handed over.

Tuesday will appear in a flash and I will be boarding a flight to Los Angeles. The Advertising Guy and The Italian will receive me and escort me to the LA lodgings. It just so happens to also be the day that Hilts goes to jail, down the road. I'm sure we'll do a drive-by to witness the hysteria.

Lost Angeles

Much gallavanting will be had as we spend a week leaving a trail of destruction in all of LA's key hot-spots, with the continuing reassurance that Seth Rotherham is, in fact, "quite a big deal around here." The Movie Producer will also be hosting a grand dinner in our honour as we frolic with and abuse the "A-listers," reminding them that they're doing well, but need to try harder.

And that will be it. The unknown stuff in-between all of that will be the essence of the Strengthening Ties Tour - the great unknown - when one thing leads to another and we find ourselves at the right place at the right time. You'll hear all about it.

So bear with me on my travels. Those well-versed in my ways will be aware that I can very often fluctuate between prolific written entertainment (drivel) and spates of pure nothingness.

I love you all very much and stress that your joy and happiness is the very air that I breathe. It's all for you.

I can feel you right now.

Inside me.

Warm...

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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