- Jacob 'NCR' Zuma (No Condom Required)
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Finally the Jacob Zuma rape trial has addressed the small issue of Zuma having sex, without a condom, with a woman he KNOWS has AIDS. As if that wasn't enough of a mind-fuck from someone who is meant to be a role-model / leader, Zuma went on to say that it wasn't THAT big a deal because he "knew the chance of getting AIDS were minimal".
"We should all pump bareback"
Aaaah, that's just brilliant, Jay Z! It reminds me of the articles about the use of the drug TIK. The papers run front page articles telling us (and our wild, psycho youth) that TIK gave an AWESOME high, costs virtually nothing and could even be made at home from regular detergents etc. Hey! Whaddaya know, the TIK addiction in the Western Cape got worse after the article! After a front page ad like that I was pretty tempted to mainline some Skip Micro myself.
But the BEST part for me is Jay Z went on to say that he KNEW the chances of getting AIDS are virtually nothing BECAUSE OF THE KNOWLEDGE HE GAINED SERVING ON THE AIDS COUNCIL!
So there you go, kids! Throw those pesky condoms away! Let's bareback ride some HIV positive hookers! AWESOME!!! Zuma said it was fine!
Now it doesn't end there. I caught another article yesterday that mentioned that Zuma went further than just having sex bareback with a woman he knew had AIDS. Yup, Jay Z ALSO ASKED HER IF HE COULD EJACULATE INSIDE HER. AND HE DID !!!!
[just let that sink in]
He ASKED her if HE COULD EJACULATE INSIDE HER. Are you with me?
"Hi, are you a hooker?"
"Yes"
"Can I have sex with you?"
"Sure"
"Do you have AIDS?"
"Yes"
"Stunning! Is it ok if I don't use a condom?"
"Absolutely!"
"Fuck that's so sweet of you. Just one favour, can I ejaculate inside you?"
"Go crazy!"
"You're the best hooker, EVER !!!!"
- That's basically what you can do now. Zuma has given us the go ahead. Good one!
So EVERY SINGLE REASON FOR USING A CONDOM HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF THE WATER! Either you're worried about AIDS or pregnancy or both. Zuma is not worried about either - even IF the woman is HIV positive.
BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT!!!!!!
I also LOVE the way he claims that HE was the one that asked if there was a condom handy. Good one. We all believe you.
Having the sexual details of a previous vice/-president is always cringe material but I just wish Zuma was as cool as Clinton. I mean Bill at least got Monica to deal with his main-chap under the desk of the oval office. Following that he administered a Monte Christo to her flower and promptly lit it in his mouth and uttered the words, "mmmm, tastes good". Classic! Timeless!
Zuma, on the other hand, had this to say, "I touched her and kissed her. When I touched her private parts, she was ready." He then told her that she was "a real woman".
I don't know, Jay Z, it's just not Hollywood enough for us. Get some new material and put on a fucking condom.
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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