
Okay, so some of you may have sniffed out the Bulwer-Lytton Award in the press recently.
In a nutshell, it’s an annual prize for the most heinously horrible complete sentence known to the English language, penned in the year of the award.
No, the IOL sub-editors did not clinch the prize this year.
Without further ado, I present Molly Ringle’s contribution to/desecration of the English language:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
Not taking any credit away from the author, (is this award a good thing or a bad thing?) but the judges have obviously never browsed a municipal annual report.
Molly, have you considered a career at Mills & Boon?
[Thanks, Lancelot!]