Tuesday, April 22, 2025

THIS IS THE WORST SENTENCE EVER?

Okay, so some of you may have sniffed out the Bulwer-Lytton Award in the press recently.

In a nutshell, it’s an annual prize for the most heinously horrible complete sentence known to the English language, penned in the year of the award.

No, the IOL sub-editors did not clinch the prize this year.

Without further ado, I present Molly Ringle’s contribution to/desecration of the English language:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.

Not taking any credit away from the author, (is this award a good thing or a bad thing?) but the judges have obviously never browsed a municipal annual report.

Molly, have you considered a career at Mills & Boon?

[Thanks, Lancelot!]

silverstreak@2oceansvibe.com