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Seth Rotherham
  • THE REAL DERELICTE

    20 Jul 2010 by Jasmine Stone in Fashion, Uncool, World

    There is a particularly handsome homeless man in China.

    And people are FREAKING OUT about it.

    Web forum locals in China have dubbed the sultry street walker “Brother Sharp”, apparently with reference to his hauntingly good looks and snappy avant garde dressing style.

    Mmm, yes. Those homeless bastards sure do know how to trump us upper middle class yobs with our insufferably boring warm and dry clothing.

    So far he’s inspired such fawning comments as:

    “That frowning look…Ai yo! My little heart! Really so handsome!”

    “China truly has innumerable handsome guys, Brother Sharp, you are truly too handsome.”

    “Behold the number one ultimate, gorgeous, handsome passer-by! Blind your dog eyes! Seeking detailed information on his flesh.”

    The last one must be my favourite. Truly truly do I avert my dog eyes from your stinky splendour, oh Brother Sharp.

    This is all a joke. It has to be, right? I mean, someone’s already satired fashion’s strange elevation of the homeless. I think his name was Will Ferrel, and he did it with the movie Zoolander .

    And yet model Erin Wasson’s thoughts on the matter seem sincere. Behold, not a very clever cookie:

    ‘The people with the best style for me are the people that are the poorest. Like, when I go down to Venice beach and I see the homeless, like, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, they’re pulling out, like, crazy looks and they, like, pulled shit out of like garbage cans.’

    Seems like everyone’s forgotten that Brother Sharp, whose real name is Chen Guorong, is a walking tragedy. He was split from his family in search of work, and lost his job not long after separating from them. He also lost his honour, pride and dignity in the process. That’s not just the the “oh-I-feel-like-crap-after-losing-my-gainful-employment” feeling, it’s the kind of shame that prevents you from returning to your family (including your wife and two kids) for ten years, for fear of bringing disgrace on them. Oh, but I forgot, that doesn’t matter all that much now that HIS WIFE AND DAD PERISHED IN THE SAME MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENT LAST YEAR.

    So yeah, the guy’s a little edgy, and he’s very homeless.

    But just because the man has the pissed off nonchalant middle distance vagrant stare down doesn’t mean you should force him into a Dior two-piece, like so, Erin:

    Let’s leave the real help (like getting him some food, a haircut, and reuniting him with his family) to the brands that look after their people.

    Bazinga! Oe, but I see his life of trash-can excess has dealt his teeth a hard blow. Time to get some veneers on those tusks, hey Erin?

    [Source : China Daily]

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