Following their collective rise to fame on the veil of Catherine Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, Pippa and Will Middleton have had the gory details of their private lives scrutinised with repulsive efficiency by the world’s tabloid media.

Recently, distasteful and, some might say, homo-erotic photos surfaced of a semi-nude Will Middleton at a bachelor party. It wasn’t long before a brassiere’d Pippa shot surfaced, and then – oh no – a topless picture of young Pippa appeared.

While the Middletons and the Mountbatten-Windsors were scrambling to distance themselves from the collision of automatically assumed status, and the reality of data sharing in the modern world, a pornographer stepped in and made matters worse.

Pippa has been offered $5 million by Steven Hirsch, CEO of pornographic company Vivid Entertainment, to shoot a single scene in a movie.

In a letter obtained by trashy website (and source of lots of good material), TMZ, Hirsch said:

“As far as I was concerned, you were the star of the recent Royal Wedding. As I watched a broadcast of the event I couldn’t help but think that with your beauty and attitude, you could be an enormously successful adult star.

“This week, after seeing photos of you having a great time at a party, I decided to offer you a role in one of our upcoming movies.”

Hirsch has also very kindly offered her brother, James, a part in the film for $1 million dollars.

“For just one explicit scene I would be pleased to offer you $5m and, of course, you would have your choice of partners.

“If you would like to bring your brother James along, he could appear in a separate scene for $1m.

“I hope you will give this offer serious consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.”

While the chances of Pippa doing porn are zero, I am holding thumbs that she really does stick it to the royal family. They have no claim on her and can’t have their handlers running her entire life. I’m hoping that perhaps she’ll follow in the footsteps of glam-trash Taylor Momsen or maybe even KE$SHA.

[Source : TMZ]