Sometimes movies are good because they’re so bad, and sometimes they’re just bad (Zoolander 2, for example).
Then there are movie reviews, because whilst it’s great reading about a masterpiece it can be equally as enjoyable to read a review where a film is torn to shreds.
Suicide Squad might be making bank at the box office, an August opening weekend record of $135 million, but critics haven’t been too kind. That’s nothing compared to Nine Lives, the new Kevin Spacey movie that Rolling Stone have dubbed ‘the worst film of 2016’.
Ready the popcorn:
Hard to believe, but there is a worse movie prowling the multiplex these days than Suicide Squad — though it’s nowhere near as disappointing. Expectations are certainly low for Nine Lives, a crass attempt to turn the national jones for cat videos into box-office gold. But at 87 torturous, laugh-free minutes, the film could change the most avid cat fancier into a kitty hater…
This [film] allows director Barry Sonnenfeld, far from the glory of days of Get Shorty and Men in Black, to parcel out life lessons with such witless regularity and relentless obviousness that you might want to deafen your eardrums and claw your eyes out. Family audiences should not be fooled. Nine Lives goes out with the kitty litter.
The AV Club weren’t digging the vibe either:
As with so many movies made to low standards under the assumption that their target audience isn’t old enough to care, Nine Lives generates it own cut-rate surrealism. Very little of it makes sense, even when accounting for human-feline mind-swaps, and everything is cheap, from the recycled gags (two cat-piss jokes, two slow-motion sequences of people tumbling over while trying to catch Tom in Mister Fuzzypants form, etc.) to the small, cramped sets and shortage of background extras.
One more, and maybe the best for last from IndieWire:
Cats may have nine lives, but you only get one, and it’s too precious to waste on this drivel. You’re better off watching a gif of a cat whose face is stuck in a slice of bread. It will save you $20 and a few hours of your time.
It looks like this might be one you want to avoid then. Here, because we like you, is the trailer:
[sources:rollingstone&avclub&indiewire]
