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Seth Rotherham
  • Best Headlines, Banners, Memes, Videos And More From Ozzie’s Cricket Meltdown

    26 Mar 2018 by Kiernan in Australia, Cricket, South Africa, Sport
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    Wow, what a day.

    We have already run through some of what went down at Newlands over the weekend, with the Prime Minister, former players and journalists all going to town on what will forever be a blight on the Baggy Green.

    You can see that here, but as with every incident like this the real gold often takes place on social media.

    The first thing we should look at is the headline chosen by the Northern Territory News (NT News), who are both notorious and much-loved for their rather outrageous front page efforts.

    That’s a cropped image up top, but here’s the NT News’ full front page:

    Well played, folks.

    The outlet even revealed how the headline came to be:

    NT News editor Matt Williams and deputy editor Ken McGregor’s three-year-old children were playing at Planet Tenpin in Nightcliff on Sunday afternoon when possible headlines were being bandied around by the NT News editorial bosses…

    Matt Garrick, who was editing from the office, sent the first version of the front page which carried the headline “Balls On The Line”.

    Williams and McGregor agreed it was a great headline but started racking their brains for something which could captivate the nation.

    “We’ve got a reputation to uphold, mate, there’s got to be something that can stand out from the crowd,” Williams said to McGregor.

    After a few failed attempts at bettering the “Balls On The Line” headline, it was McGregor who eventually came up with the genius of “Why I’ve Got Some Sticky Near My Dicky.”

    …Williams said the cricket scandal headline was on track to be the most viewed on social media in Australian history.

    Yeah, the world is watching.

    How about this from Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland, who faced the media back home as the story broke. Bugger what he had to say, because we’re here to enjoy the two journalists fighting as the media briefing ends:

    This is James Sutherland’s press conference. 2 journalist get into a fight. Accurately reflects the state of this series #SAvAus pic.twitter.com/PGidDNCnGI

    — Hashim’s Mighty Beard (@CricFan2000) March 25, 2018

    Okes are taking this news badly.

    Shall we enjoy a few of the memes and banners doing the rounds? Yup:

    We should stick to the on-field stuff, chaps, because there’s plenty to go on there. Like this peach, taken from earlier in the test:

    I think we should give offspinner Nathan Lyon some credit for handling this incident like a boss:

    Congrats on your 300 test wickets, Gary – just a pity there was a little dampener on the whole vibe.

    Quick aside: who wants to guess what Pat Cummins’ nickname is? It’s ‘Cider’ – I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.

    So are we, the rest of the cricketing world, revelling in Australia’s misfortune just a little too much? Graeme Swann, the former English spinner, with why that’s not the case:

    “They’ve set themselves as setting the benchmark for what is right and wrong in cricket –
    everyone who’s played against them know that’s an absolute joke!”

    Strong words from @SwannyG66 on #SAvAUS ball-tampering. pic.twitter.com/oCahpHa3FI

    — BBC 5 live Sport (@5liveSport) March 25, 2018

    Hear hear, Graeme.

    Also, this interview hasn’t aged well hey Davie?

    Yeah… about that, Dave. #SAvAUS pic.twitter.com/DrCd8ASkN3

    — The Cricketer (@TheCricketerMag) March 25, 2018

    I’ll be having a drink in honour of that interview later.

    If you want to know just how ashamed the Australian public is about the cheating, here’s long-time broadcaster and lifelong fan Jim Maxwell breaking down on air talking about it:

    I almost feel for him.

    Smith and the Ozzies claim that the ball condition wasn’t altered, and the umpires didn’t change the ball when they were alerted by the third umpire, but there’s some interesting reading here:

    And then this from Mike Haysman:

    Make of that what you will, but it doesn’t look good.

    When you look closer at some of the team’s other actions, alarm bells start to go off. Earlier in the test match Pat Cummins stood on the ball, and later laughed off questions about whether it was intentional.

    Here’s that footage:

    #SAvAUS Pat Cummins could be in trouble here. Stands on the ball “accidentally on purpose” as @GraemeSmith49 points out pic.twitter.com/FDLa6joXG8

    — Michael Sherman (@Golfhackno1) March 22, 2018

    You can throw in David Warner’s taping in the second test, when AB de Villiers raised concerns, and he returned the next day with his wife and children’s names written on the plasters.

    If yellow tape / sandpaper can help rough up the ball, how about this excessive effort?

    This footage from the Ashes shows Bancroft sticking sugar cubes into his pocket during a break in play. Those granules could be used to rough up the ball, right?

    Here’s Cameron Bancroft appearing to put sugar in his pocket against England in January… pic.twitter.com/ju6W47PECc

    — David Coverdale (@dpcoverdale) March 24, 2018

    The thing about openly cheating is that you’re not getting the benefit of the doubt from here on out.

    Shall we pivot to something we should be celebrating from yesterday, other than the Ozzies eating the humblest of pies?

    Morne Morkel grabbed his test match career-best figures, including a five-wicket blitz yesterday afternoon, and during the first dig he passed 300 wickets.

    He was stoked:

    TEARS IN MY EYES Big Morne Morkel celebrating his 300th Test Wicket against Australia pic.twitter.com/0Qkwcdzxpv

    — Simmi Areff (@simmiareff) March 23, 2018

    And then there’s this, from yesterday, of Temba Bavuma and Morne high-fiving. If this doesn’t make you smile you’re dead inside:

    I feel like that’s a good place to finish.

    Now we wait for Cricket Australia to bring down the axe because the crowd is baying for blood.

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