Donald Trump has boasted about the size of his penis before, but someone should tell him that it only looks bigger because his hands are so tiny.
Boasting about your wanger is gross, but how about Don Junior boasting about both of their wangers? Yes, this happened, back in a January 2007 interview live from the Playboy Mansion.
After moaning about how hard it is to have a pregnant wife whilst at a Playboy Mansion party, Don Junior then engaged in some classic father – son banter:
Host: I got one question, Donald Jr.: When you and your pops are in the shower, who’s got the bigger package? You know what I’m saying.
Trump Jr.: You know, and I will get fired for this, but I’m never going to say that I don’t. I will get fired for that. By the way, they’re both pretty substantial I think.
I know he was prompted, but it’s still not a good look. You can find that full interview here.
Anyway, the point here is that the whole family suffer from Extremely Fragile Ego syndrome, and that’s basically what led to the now infamous 1990 New York Post front page.
Ya know, this one:
Now if you’re thinking that we should observe a moment’s silence for Marla’s clearly depressing sex life, you probably need to know the backstory of how this came to be splashed across the front page.
Thankfully, the Daily Beast can help us there:
A former New York Post journalist, Jill Brooke, spilled the beans Thursday about how one of the most famous tabloid headlines in U.S. history came to be—and the backstory is just as ridiculous as you imagined…
Brooke recounted when Trump was going through a divorce with first wife, Ivana, who was winning the PR war against him, much to his chagrin…
One day, angered by a particularly sympathetic New York Daily News front-page story on Ivana, the aggrieved real estate mogul called the New York Post office. “Those fucking bitches,” Trump allegedly bellowed over the speakerphone in Post editor Jerry Nachman’s office, referring to rival Daily News: “I want a front-page story tomorrow.”
Nachman, a wily veteran, explained to the future president that you can’t just demand a front-page report whenever you want one—there has to be a story to go alongside it. When Trump asked what would warrant a front page, Brooke recalled how the New York Post editor explained further that it would usually be something to do with “murder, money or sex.”
Now here is where it goes full Donald, and you never go full Donald.
Brooke remembered Trump immediately snapping back: “Marla says with me it’s the best sex she’s ever had,” and Nachman, already picturing his perfect headline, said that would make a great story if Trump could provide some form of corroboration.
According to Brooke, Trump then shouted to the nearby Marla Maples: “Didn’t you say it’s the best sex you ever had with me?”
A faint “yes, Donald,” was heard in the background and the headline wrote itself to become part of history.
That is sad enough as is, but there is actually even more to this one.
Was it even Marla who was the faint voice in the background?
Maples has previously denied that she said the infamous words in the headline, which lends weight to Brooke’s suspicion that Trump may have actually impersonated his second wife.
Speaking about it this February, Maples said: “I never said that, someone else said that. Is it true? I’m not going to talk about that. The truth will come out, just not here.”
Imagine how he must be reacting to this photo below doing the rounds? It’s fake, but then again if he doesn’t play fair…
I know, I know.
For those who think it’s surely a stretch to believe that he would actually go as far as to impersonate his then-wife, you obviously aren’t familiar with spokesman John Miller:
In 2016, The Washington Post uncovered a recording from 1991 in which Trump appeared to pose as his own spokesperson. The newspaper also reported a publicist calling himself “John Miller” or “John Barron” was known to call journalists from Trump’s office during the 1970s, ’80s, and ’90s—and sounded suspiciously like the man himself.
And this is the man who gets the American evangelical vote.
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