We regret to inform you, that scumbro is now officially a thing.
Justin Bieber and Pete Davidson are the kings of the scumbro fashion movement, which should tell you everything you need to know about why it’s a bad idea.
To achieve the scumbro look, you basically have to spend loads of cash in order to look like you’ve been wearing the same clashing outfit for days on end.
The Guardian has a more detailed explanation:
Scumbros wear oversized, overpriced skatewear by labels such as Palace and Supreme, obscure graphic T-shirts, ridiculous shoes and even more ridiculous hats.
They also wear wildly expensive labels, such as Gucci, Versace and Prada, but deliberately make them look terrible.
When someone wrote on Twitter, correctly: “Diplo starting to look like a dude that sells you bad weed on the Venice boardwalk,” Diplo was so chuffed he posted it on Instagram and wrote underneath: “Goals achieved.” Total scumbro move.
Those are some sick life goals, bro.
Despite the general consensus that we can blame Bieber for this one, he has some competition for leader of the scumbros.
Jonah Hill, according to Vanity Fair, is “king of the scumbros”: he has “pretty good taste”, a men’s fashion expert is quoted as saying beneath a photo of Hill in a T-shirt that looks like a rainbow vomited on it, wide-legged trousers and a pair of white slip-ons of the type my grandfather would wear, thus confirming that Zoolander was not a satire, but a documentary.
When the Wall Street Journal ran a photospread of celebrity scumbros recently, it priced up their outfits and they ran into the high hundreds and thousands, even though all the men featured looked as if they’d lost a fight with a 14-year-old’s laundry basket.
Pete Davidson, though, took scumbro to the mainstream. The cocky comedian from Saturday Night Live, who is currently engaged to Ariane Grande, balances out her style with his…clothes.
Grande’s teenage fanbase, who always delighted in their idol’s polished feminine style, have, with some reluctance, learned to endure the sight of Davidson’s oversized camouflage-print tracksuits and endless baseball caps. One of the most widely published photos from Aretha Franklin’s funeral last week was of President Clinton, Grande and … Davidson.
Oh sure, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder and Jesse Jackson were all at the funeral, but let’s illustrate the death of one of the all-time great singers with a picture of a 24-year-old dude and his peroxide hair who probably couldn’t do an Aretha song on a karaoke night.
Look, it already annoys me that it takes men five minutes to get ready because they don’t have to navigate the complicated world of cosmetics, five different types of underwear, and the fact that no matter how many clothes you own there’s never anything to wear.
This crusty unwashed vibe that looks like it fell out of a teenager’s laundry basket is just insulting.
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