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Seth Rotherham
  • Constantia Housewives Embrace Marijuana

    31 Oct 2019 by Seth Rotherham in Health, Lifestyle, marijuana, Partners, South Africa, Vibe
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    Now that it’s decriminalised to use marijuana for personal and private use, a whole new breed of pothead is emerging – those who were always curious but didn’t embrace the herb for fear of the law.

    They “had it once at a dinner party” and “had the best time ever” and left it at that. The law was always the thing holding them back and, with that somewhat out of the way, they don’t quite know what to do next, let alone how to even roll a joint.

    Luckily for our clean-cut Southern Suburbs brethren, the days of rolling your own spliffs are behind you, ushering in a healthier and far more convenient and discreet option. Enter the reassuringly expensive PAX 3, heralded as the ‘Rolls-Royce’ of weed vapes.

    It looks like a small power bank or Apple accessory and doesn’t arouse suspicion, even if placed in the middle of a table at Mamma Roma.

    Available in black, teal, rose gold or silver, you can get the Pax 3 from VAPE STORE (online here), or from their store in Noordhoek next to the Red Herring.

    ‘The Rolls’, as it is oft referred to, allows both Bishops and Herschel alumni to simply grind up their pot (get a grinder here) and insert it into the chamber, click a button, and wait around 20 seconds before indulging.

    Because the ‘oven’ part of The Rolls has no flame (it simply heats up), there is no smoke – simply a light vapour with negligible nose (i.e. smell – we’re incorporating some wine speak here).

    Things really couldn’t be any more convenient. Oh, and it charges off a USB cable… pfffft. Now you don’t have to worry about rolling joints or Aunty Joyce smelling anything when she makes an impromptu visit to pick lemons from your tree.

    “Your mum said I could” – bugger off, Joyce.

    So now you’re almost there, and the only issue is the actual product. Again, the law says that personal and private use of marijuana has been decriminalised.

    It’s rather unlikely that Constantia Village’s faithful will be tending to their weed patch at home, so you might need to be creative here. Either you have a couple of mates from Hout Bay or Scarborough who can ‘hook you up’, or you’re going to have to look at the likes of 420 Monkeys.

    You order from them over WhatsApp (they send you a menu) and your ‘merch’ arrives 24 to 48 hours later via courier. We’re not sure how they manage to get it right (IMPORTANT: We are not saying that buying weed online in South Africa is legal), but they definitely are operating and people are using them regularly.

    Wherever you go (or grow), make sure it’s quality. Aim for a ‘Sativa’ to kick off – it gets the creative juices and buzz going.

    There you go – welcome to your new hobby! Be sure to get a Cannador or the like to look after your herb – you don’t want your stash getting all dry in a shoebox, because that’s not a good look.

    And anyway, you’re buying quality, so you should look after it.

    P.S. – if you DO want to roll joints, you should have a look at the OTTO Electric Grinder and Cone Filler – it basically does it all for you.

    • ← Staggering Stats About How Much Of SA’s Total Budget Goes To Government Wage Bill
    • Zapiro’s ‘Eskom Road Map’ Cartoon Is Depressingly Accurate →
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