By now, you know the drill with Prince Andrew.
Just to set the scene, I will remind you that Prince Andrew says he could not have sex in 2001 with Virginia Roberts Giuffre, who was 17 at the time, because after visiting a Pizza Express in Woking (above) at around 4PM or 5PM, he then returned home and spent the night with daughter Princess Beatrice.
His exact words when pressed on the specificity of his memory a full 18 years later was “Because going to Pizza Express in Woking is an unusual thing for me to do, a very unusual thing for me to do”.
You’d think royalty would be more at home ordering from Butler’s? The Rotherham sounds awfully regal.
Enter the spoof reviews for the chain in question pouring in, reports SBS, starting with these since-deleted Google reviews:
I mean, you can guess where the rest of that review goes.
The sweating comments are related to this stunning exchange:
“I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenalin in the Falkland’s War when I was shot at.”
— BBC Newsnight (@BBCNewsnight) November 16, 2019
A few more before we move along:
TripAdvisor had to suspend the Pizza Express page in the wake of an influx of fictitious reviews:
People really do have too much time on their hands.
So too will Prince Andrew, now that he’s been booted from the ribbon-cutting and other strenuous royal duties.
[imagesource: Russian State Media / Twitter] Russia really one-upped the US with this r...
[imagesource: Flickr / Axel Bührmann] This report comes at you from the dark as I'm in...
Top Gun: Maverick Wins Best Picture From The National Board Of Review - An Oscar nod for b...
[imagesource: Flickr / GovernmentZA] According to the Section 89 independent panel repo...
[imagesource: Raw Pixel] Do you like pina colada? Look, I saw the cocktail name, and...