More exclusive than getting into Oxford University is getting an invite to the Piers Gav party.
An invite to this mysterious and terribly debauched party is like getting a golden Willy Wonka ticket, as per VICE.
Not many have heard of it because not many are invited, but it has been the subject of a few tabloid stories, naming Hugh Grant and Nigella Lawson as attendees, as well as David Cameron.
At one such party, it’s alleged Cameron did the nasty to a dead pig’s mouth.
It was that story that inspired the first episode of Black Mirror – don’t watch it if you don’t want to imagine it any further.
The parties are thrown by the Piers Gaveston Society, which is a 50-year old private members club with roots in the British aristocratic elite.
The party is so exclusive that attendees have to sign an NDA before attending, give up their phones before entering, and are only ever invited by members of the Piers Gaveston Society.
When these parties do happen, about three times a year, guests are “carted off in a blacked-out coach to a gazebo outside of the city”, scantily-clad and accessorised for sex.
One party-goer, Jasmine, dressed for the medieval theme in “black lacy underwear underneath a silver beach dress that looked like chainmail”, recalls tents and stages with sex and drugs rampant in and on each:
“There’s every [type of] alcohol under the sun at the bar, and there’s a dealer who provides any drug you could wish for.
There were people having sex all over the place, both in the tents and outside in the field, but it was kind of dark, so you couldn’t see much,” she remembers.
“One girl was having a threesome with two guys in the middle of one of the chilling tents. Even as someone not really comfortable doing that kind of stuff in public myself, I didn’t mind the sex happening around us. It was a chilled atmosphere.”
But it is not all fun and games.
One attendee recalls their friend’s story which involved a surprise appearance from a family member:
“One of my friends told me afterwards that, as he was getting a blowjob in one of the sex booths, he looked across the room and locked eyes with his own cousin, who was also mid-sex. Boner killer.”
Another attendee’s feelings of alienation at Oxford University were made worse when she saw her girlfriend “going down on the other girl on stage, in front of a cheering crowd”.
The allure of the Piers Gav party is purely an extension of feeling powerful and part of the “inner circle” at Oxford:
In a university filled with kids who have spent their whole lives being told they’re special, it’s a way to grasp at superiority and continue feeling part of the elite.
You must be important – you were invited to a party that the whole university gossips about, after all.
But, as VICE points out, you don’t technically need to go to a posh school to do drugs and have raucous sex.
A basement will do the trick just as well, if you’re so inclined.
[imagesource: Twitter / @KoalaneMotaung] There are some looted goods you will never get...
Everybody has that one friend who claims to know exactly what’s going on in the world of...
[imagesource: LinkedIn / Ryan Joffe] Ryan Joffe. Remember the name. One of the At...
[imagesource: Collider] Happy Friday, good people. As we begin to clock watch, count...
[imagesource: Getty Images] Does anyone remember Megan Fox at the Golden Globe Awards i...