Dating apps are as ubiquitous now as the single folks looking to find their ultimate love match.
Okay, not really. But the point is, almost everyone has had some kind of experience with a dating app, right?
You don’t even have to be the person using one of the many apps out there to know what it can be like to try and sift through all the profiles, from the curious to the creepy, in order to not be alone for the rest of your life.
Choosing between the “meme accounts, accounts with one awkward picture, people who’d cuss you out if you didn’t respond quickly enough, and weird bios that [make] you scratch your head” is not for the faint-hearted.
But what if these dating clichés get banished, and people learn to make better choices for how they present themselves on their dating profiles?
If that sounds like something you can get on board with, then stick around for Mashable’s valuable tips for online dating.
1. Steer clear of those low-quality, face-obstructing selfies:
Some people aren’t too comfy with sharing photos with all their flaws on full display.
It is easy, therefore, to cover yourself up under the guise of low-quality, face-obstructing selfies, but that’s just not how you’re going to match with your mate.
Here’s Blaine Anderson, founder and CEO of DatingByBlaine.com, who has experience with helping men make their dating profiles as desirable as possible:
“If your romantic interest can’t immediately tell what you look like because your photos are old and low-quality, or because you have too many group shots (or because you’re wearing sunglasses, or because your photo is over-edited…) they’re swiping left! Do yourself a favor, and take an hour to take some quality photos if you don’t have six already.”
You might want to reach out to that friend with a fancy camera or current iPhone to get that good-quality profile shot, or six, showing off your best angle.
This takes us to the next point…
2. You have to have more than one photo:
Having just one photo on a dating app is a bit of a red flag.
There’s just not enough to go off of for the person swiping, plus, it shows a lack of confidence, which is not something many people will swipe right on.
Jonathan Bennett, an owner and dating/relationship coach for Double Trust Dating has more:
“I’d also stay away from obviously clichéd photos like mirror selfies, posing with a fish, etc. The best photos are ones that clearly show what you look like, but can also tell a story about your personality. So, while a selfie could be good, high-quality current photos of you doing what you love are best.”
Likewise, Amber Lee, CEO of Select Date Society, advises using more current photos because there’s nothing worse than turning up looking completely different to your selfies.
In that vein…
3. Don’t lie about your features or anything really:
Lying about your age, height, or anything else is a bit like catfishing and is not at all what you should do to make yourself more desirable.
Anyway, if a person doesn’t like what you have to offer, there would be no point in dating them in the first place:
As Kevin Darné, author of Online Dating Avoid the Catfish!: How to Date Online Successfully says, “Lying about age, height, weight, career, and relationship status is a big mistake if you’re hoping to have a serious relationship.”
Charly Lester, the founder of Lumen, a dating app for people over 50, adds to this:
“Put simply, singles want great dates. That starts with positivity and being your best self. By listing negative qualities, you not only put off the people you don’t want, but the ones you do want as well.
There are more positive ways you can attract the right person. If you’re a tall woman, instead of ‘no one under 6 feet,’ try listing your own height to match up with similar people. That way, you can attract high quality matches and set the conversation off on a positive foot.”
4. Get the conversation off to a good start:
Please, for the love of all things good, do not start the conversation off with a simple “hey”.
If you do, say goodbye to any potential conversation blossoming.
As Anderson said, “opening the conversation without good direction [is a big no-no]”. Rather, you want to say something to make yourself stand out and entice a richer, more involved conversation.
For that, consider these few points to kick off the conversation:
- A joke or pun you love
- Ask about the other person. Check if their bio mentioned something you like or know of, and go from there.
- Start with a simple compliment: a feature you like about them, something cool they like — stray away from shallow-seeming compliments that are too looks-based or aggressive.
- You can also lean on some probing questions used by a researcher trying to speed up intimacy between strangers. But perhaps start with asking about what a perfect day would be for them before inquiring about their most terrible memory.
But the best might just be to get the conversation off the app, and into real life.
5. Lastly, try to include more than just one line in your bio.
Adding one-liners like “fluent in sarcasm” or some corny pick-up line may well put you in the dating app dog box.
Rather, include more genuineness and basic facts about who you are, where you are from, and what you are looking for so that you can get the right person swiping right on you.
That should be you set for the online dating world.
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