[imagesource: Max Pixel]

We all have untold behavioural quirks that air when no one is looking.

Picking your nose, tasting your ear wax, walking around naked, singing in the shower, putting on funny voices, having full-on conversations with your plants, punching your pillows – these are only some of the things I can think of that any person might do when no one is looking.

Don’t leave me hanging here, it can’t just be me.

The truth is, no one is fully themselves when they’re with other people, so as soon as the housemates/partners/friends or family leave you alone in a room, your full wonderous self might become unleashed.

In Japan, there are words to distinguish between your public, curated persona and your private, more authentic self: tatemae and honne, respectively.

VICE had some strangers on the internet divulge the weirdest things they do when they’re unwatched, and honestly, people are fun and creative when they’re alone.

One 24-year-old lady pretends she is in a reality show confessional:

I often comment on what’s going on around me or things that friends have told me, like I’m in a reality show diary room. It could be about an inappropriate comment my boss said, or when a friend is making the same mistake for the thousandth time.

I do this a few times a day: I imagine myself sitting in front of a camera and adding my two cents. Sometimes I even make mean jokes – the kind of things that you don’t dare say to people’s faces, but it feels good to say them out loud.

That could be awkward if you forget where you are, Kiki.

Meanwhile, Robbert takes out his Barbie dolls and creates utopian places that are completely exaggerated, despite being 33:

I think it’s mostly nostalgic. I started collecting Barbie dolls when I was little – it’s always been a part of my life. I live with my partner and we often work together, so when I’m home alone I have a private conversation with my Barbies.

He says his Barbie dolls also represent a form of mini drag as his partner does drag and together they work on costumes for their drag persona Veronika Deneuve. Fun.

Then there’s Jon Ericsson who enjoys a heated debate with himself:

I don’t really know what to do with myself, I usually just roll a joint. Sometimes, when I’m really high, I think of a theme and start debating with myself out loud.

One of the first times I did this, I chose to debate the pros and cons of e-scooters. I sometimes discuss more serious subjects too, like cultural appropriation or the universal basic income.

That’s one way to make sure you win every time.

One time he was caught by his sister amidst a heated debate. Apparently, she suddenly appeared while he was in the middle of an argument with himself and “stood at the door without saying anything – just staring”. Then she asked him to speak more quietly and went back to bed.

Somewhere else, Nathalie Mattys makes up songs for her dog:

“His name is Rockie, he eats my flip flops, he’s a winkie tinkie blinkie stinkie…”

She says she mostly sings to him to entertain or reward him for being such a good boy, but she also studies with him sometimes, repeating her lessons out loud.

“Very practical”, she says.

People are weird.

[source:vice]