THE TWITTER PARADE
If you’re feeling a little low on self-esteem today, try this out. The IS Twitter Parade is a nifty little website that creates an on-screen parade in your celebration, complete with a cheery musical sound track and small yells of joy. All you have to do is type in your Twitter name (or any keyword […]
THE DEFINITIVE SITE FOR HUMAN ACHIEVEMENT
Ever wondered what the record is for the biggest human pyramid inside a moving train? Or who holds the record for the most double-handed high-fives over a regulation men’s volleyball net by female twins in 30 seconds? I know I have. But I’ve always found myself frustrated with the limited options available to me for […]
V&A WATERFRONT LAUNCHES FREE WI-FI
First it was Green Market Square, and now it’s the V&A Waterfront. Yes, ladies and gents, we’re talking about free Wi-Fi. We recently ran a story on Skyrove’s offering of free Wi-Fi in Green Market Square, Cape Town. Things have developed ever so slightly.
TWO GREAT INVENTIONS: VELCRO & THE IPAD
A very cool human being by the name of Jesse Rosten has made a pretty darn fantastic short film celebrating the beautiful things that happen when two of humankind’s great innovations (the iPad, and Velcro) meet. In a few years time, when touch computer interfaces are on every shiny surface in our house, we might […]
DOES THIS WORLD CUP MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
Bafana Bafana continue to improve our vibe ahead of the world cup – this time by owning Guatemala in a record 5-0 win. Sure, there may have been three penalties in the mix (two of which were moderately questionable), but the other two goals were genuinely gnarly. Anyhow, while most of the country and all […]
THE PUMA PHONE MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON
And better looking, too. Didn’t you know? This sassy little individual has been released in Europe, and is on course for distribution in the US. Although, with A FRIGGING SOLAR PANEL CELL ON THE BACK (oh yeah!) you’d expect them to pump these babies to sunny South Africa in a heartbeat.
BOB MUGABE’S MIDDLE NAME IS NOAH
This just in: Robert Mugabe is sending an ark filled to the rafters with animals to our Dear Leader. Zimbabwe has begun rounding up wildlife destined for North Korea and would have completed the sale to Kim Jong Il’s isolated dictatorship by the end of this month, a senior parks official said on Wednesday. North […]
ALBUM REVIEW: MEAT LOAF’S NEW “HANG COOL TEDDY BEAR”
It takes a recessionista’s ear to appreciate the genius of Meat Loaf. Meat Loaf has never been everyone’s cup of tea. Apart from one time in the late 70’s when Bat Out of Hell sold 48 million copies. Ok so yes, Meat Loaf was once everyone’s cup of tea, but that was before most of […]
MOBILE NUMBER CURSED – OR NOT
A mobile phone company in Bulgaria has suspended a particular mobile phone number, 0888 888 888, after “every single person assigned to it died in the last 10 years.”
BECAUSE EVERY COUNTRY IS GOOD AT SOMETHING
This, my friends, is awesome. What in the world is that? At first glance, this looks like the fruits of a game of “pin the tail on the donkey” at an acid party in Amsterdam. Right? But the more perceptive of you might recognise the faintest silhouette of a world map. That’s because each of […]
NIGERIAN POLITICIANS – NOT KOSHER
Nigerian politicians are pretty colourful characters, if news reports are anything to go by. If they haven’t got two kilograms of coke (NOT the kind that fizzes with Mentos) in their political tummies, then they’re off marrying Egyptian 13 year-olds.
“INTRIGUING” IS ANOTHER WORD FOR “WEIRD”
Sorry about that, it’s kind of bright, I know. As you can see, London have gone for a bit of an intriguing vibe for their 2012 Olympic logo. And by intriguing, I might actually mean, “epilepsy-inducing”. So, in a intriguing strange kind of way, it’s kudos to London’s Olympic organising committee (queerly named Locog) for […]
COOKING YOURSELF – A NATIONAL SPORT IN FINLAND
ESPN is a great repository for sporting news. Especially news from the Baltic states. Take Finland, for example. Finland is the home of Sauna (that’s right, with a capital “S”). This relaxing past tie has been exported in various forms and varieties the world over, such is humankind’s love for a good, cleansing sweat. But […]
SAVE YOUR CHILD FROM A LIFE OF LAME
Everyone knows how cut-throat childhood can be, right? The playground politics, the snide remarks, the vengeful love triangles, the grief-induced crayon-eating binges. Right? Well, maybe not me. Know why? Because when I was a kid, my parents made damn sure that their offspring would never, ever, have the label “loser” pasted on them. How did […]
TALIBANNOSAURUS REX
Looks like a regular sci-fi action/adventure with tough guys, hot chicks, glocks and carnivorous and impossibly clever dinosaurs, right? WRONG!
“DEAR ENGLAND, YOU’RE BROKE”
OK, so I don’t claim to know a heck of a lot about macro economic policy, national Anglo trans-administration fiscal health, or even the projected recovery gradient of the British economy over the next five years. But two things, I know for sure. 1) The English ruling classes are humour gods, and…
DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF KOREA MAKE NUCLEAR FUSION
PRESS RELEASE Pyongyang (and maybe Cape Town, too), KCNA.
US NEWS STILL FAILING AT GEOGRAPHY
With the Soccer World Cup just 24 days, four hours and 20 minutes away, it’s so comforting to know that our beloved RSA is getting the accurate international press coverage that we deserve. I mean, take this, for example, courtesy of Chicago’s WGN news.
IT IS NOW SAFE TO REMOVE GENE’S FLASH STICK
Besides being at the age where his main desire should be trying to play online bingo for free, KISS bassist and all round grand daddy of rock, Gene Simmons, was recently accused of dry-humping an ESPN make-up artist, as some of you may have heard. After said make-up artist demanded $185 000 from Gene for […]
SAPS – “YOUR [HUMAN] SAFETY IS OUR GOAL!”
The South Africa Police Service – a bastion of efficiency, and relatively humourous accents. Ever tried calling 10111? No answer, right? Exactly. Because every South African police service man or woman is out on the STREETS. Bam. Chew on that rubber bullet, critics. But in all sincerity, we’re pretty lucky to have a decent police […]
NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE
Got a little cash lying around lately? Maybe you came into a small tax windfall, or scooped an inheritance lump-sum (my condolences). Or maybe you’re a cocaine drug lord with a pile of money as obscene as your company’s human resources manifesto. You’re gonna get the itch to blow all that nose candy profit on […]
COMPETITION: OH SNAP!
Morning boys and girls. By golly, do we have some fun for you this morning. Ever been the victim of camera theft? Ever thought a retrieved photo of your sun burnt gluteus maximus might pave the way for you recovering your camera? Well, you can think it now. We got this email from a truly […]
DON’T EVEN REPLY
If you get a suspicious email from someone named “Mike” in reply to an advert you posted online, DON’T EVEN REPLY. That is, of course, unless you want the world to laugh at your expense. A sort of consumer-watchdog version of our beloved David Thorne‘s 27bSlash6.com, DontEvenReply.com is subtitled “Emails from an asshole”, and is […]
50 CENT HAS TROUBLE WITH PLURALS
So the poster for 50 Cent’s new movie is out. Before I say anything, I think it’s best if you just bask in its glory. It’s almost too beautiful for words. I’m having trouble breathing. “One gun, many lives lost.” GUN. Like, singular, right? You think maybe the one on the left is called Gun, […]
SKYROVE SHOWERS ITS BLESSING ON CAPETOWN
See, we told you it was the era of the instanet. Mweb offers cheap uncapped ADSL, and all of a sudden businesses everywhere are freaking out, losing their heads in acts of reckless generosity as they bring South Africa up to speed with the global village. Like Skyrove, who’ve gone and hooked Capetonians up with […]
THE AFRIKA IS ON FIRE
Our more trippy readers might know that the Afrika Burns festival, South Africa’s newest excuse to get totally baked in the desert, wrapped up on Tuesday after five brightly-coloured days of parallel universes, flying dragons and fire. And lets not forget the odd bout of “let’s chain the 11 year olds to the front of […]
UKRAINE PARLIAMENT MAYHEM
On Tuesday, while millions of South Africans were celebrating Freedom Day, Ukrainian parliamentarians were expressing patriotism for their country by throwing eggs at the speaker of parliament, detonating smoke bombs in the upper chamber, and generally engaging in fisticuffs. As you’ll see in this video, the jolly lawmakers are engaged in the ancient Ukrainian tradition […]
SELL YOUR SOUL IN LATVIA
Apparently, if you were ever looking to sell your soul, the Devil would be the guy who might put in an offer. In that case, we’d like you to meet Satan himself: Nice shades, Satan
2OCEANSVIBE CLOSES IN 389 DAYS
Are YOU ready? If you’ve been toying with the idea of defaulting on your home loan or joining a Russian acrobat troupe for a while now, go for it. Last week, students on UCT’s upper campus were the victims of random and ferocious pamphlet bombings by people wearing “May 21, 2011” T-shirts. Naturally lured in […]
GRAND DADDY HOTEL VALET NOT LIKELY TO GET A TIP
Word on the street is that a valet attendant employed by the four star Grand Daddy on Long Street may have allegedly abused his position last Saturday night. And when we say “abused his position”, what we really mean to say is “stole a Grand Daddy client’s Mini Cooper Sport, and wrecked it Jub Jub […]