I popped into Future Exotics again this morning to have another look at that 2008 Rolls Royce Phantom I mentioned the other day. I just wanted to get a better grasp of what the car was packing – the “bells and whistles” as it were. I just need to know what one would get, SHOULD […]

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Today felt like the kind of Friday that everyone would be playing along with the aforementioned and agreed upon Cape Town Friday Rule. I was so confident of the feeling I had, that I woke up and went for the CLASSIC “secret cloud technique.” You know the one: when you have a joint BEFORE you […]

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I was once again amused the other night when we went to Chris Rock. The Lawyer and G-Man went with me to the event in my car and attended the VIP after party held at the same venue (Grand West) afterwards. As with most of these VIP after parties, booze was on tap and it […]

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A local company has decided, for one reason or another, to lend me a brand new Audi R8 for a while. The guy called me on Friday and asked if I would mind. I’m usually hesitant to take up these kind of offers, as you don’t know what they want from you in return. But, […]

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So I was at this bar the other night.. Don’t you love that classic male intro? “Yeah, so I’m at this bar the other night..” Brilliant! So anyway, I was at this bar the other night ordering a drink. I can’t remember what the drink was (probably French), but this little vixen of a bar […]

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What began as a let down, turned into the greatest day ever – Lucky girl! Now these are the stories that really warm my heart. The TBG (Tall Blonde Guy), once again, turning sad people into happy people. The sea of smiles that he leaves in his wake can only be compared to Moses and […]

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I went to test drive a bottle of rosé at Caprice this evening. I was expecting something special but, instead, I got the view you see below. I have always been careful not to punish the ill-informed – but then there is another, rather prominent side of me that wants to punish those who suffer […]

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We’ve seen a number of embarrassing moments at Caprice, when it comes to the yellow-marked handicapped zone in front of the main entrance. My personal favourite being the time a troop of slicksters emerged from a brand spanking new black Mercedes-Benz. The driver was stopped by another patron as they made their way into the […]

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I’ve had a Personal Assistant for as long as I can remember. They get switched every now and then – but they are always there. You’ll remember I was recently advertising for a new P.A. – well I found one and she has become The P.A. on the 2oceansvibe Characters page. She replaces the old […]

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You’ve heard about the South African Chief of Police, Jackie Selebi’s Hummer. You wondered if the rumours were true and what the car looked like. It couldn’t be true, you thought. It’s too over the top. I doubt you ever imagined it would be THIS over the top. Note POLICE branding on the side, as […]

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I recived this gift from Dail-a-Surprize on my birthday and, I’ll be honest, I was pretty fucking impressed. This is premium, high quality stuff. Check out what I got: Quietly enjoy the little dinky bottle of Moet! Very naughty! What was in the box, you ask? Well, OBVIOUSLY it was a brand new 4-year-old Campbodian […]

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I decided to embark on a journey – a holiday of sorts, to the "other-other side." Whilst the Southern Suburbs crew refer to Cape Town city and the Atlantic Seaboard as "the other side" and vice versa, it becomes confusing telling your friends in either of those locations that you’re on "the other side," when […]

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I’m spending a bit of time in Claremont today – getting back to my roots and all that. I dropped off my car at Hannibal’s car wash and sauntered into Cavendish Square to find a little spot to write you something titillating; something completely different to what I am writing about now. I wandered around, […]

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It’s common knowledge that I keep a number of pre-teen Cambodian kids under the floorboards at the Bantry Bay house; for the express purpose of manufacturing fake Havaianas flip-flops. I don’t feel bad about their living conditions, nor the fact that I feed them rubbish. Those kids wouldn’t have a floor over their heads if […]

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So we found ourselves at the Arniston Spa Hotel this weekend. We weren’t actually staying at the hotel, but rather a mate’s place. Nonetheless, we thought we would enjoy the very sexual vibe at the Arniston Hotel pool. For the uninformed and those of you who don’t know about the hotel or have never heard […]

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Not to be confused with Jack Black, the comedian. This is Jack Black, the beer – named after Jack Black, the 1920’s American outlaw, who came WAY before any other Jack Black that you may know. And I’m pleased to report that Jack Black Premium Classic Beer is out and about in Cape Town. I […]

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You may have noticed that new block to the right of the Vida e block on Somerset Road, Green Point. You may not have noticed our new favourite eatery called “Miss K – Food Cafe” that sprung up out of nowhere. I popped in the other day. miss k People who go there get laid […]

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I’m not going to say I’m altogether surprised, but it turns out we have actual proof of some of The TBG‘s powers – namely, that he can cure migraines. I’d say that’s pretty much a given – I mean, for someone who is rumoured to have given sight back to the blind and once even […]

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[To avoid potential emboerrissment, the incorrect spelling of “journalists” above, is noted!] whilst potentially emIt’s a concept largely ignored by most of South Africa’s daily and monthly publications – you know, hiring journalists who know what they’re talking about, have communication skills and even know how to spell. I’m certainly not saying that 2oceansvibe is […]

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The ever-territorial Glen Beach Locals (GBL) surfing fraternity have laid down yet another stern reminder to outsiders, that surf intrusions of any kind on “this break” will be more than just frowned upon. And a little suggestion to beginners wasting time with their shit – NO KOOKS!   And don’t forget it   It will […]

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I can’t cope! Just listen to this CAREFULLY! It’s like God and The TBG are up to something. Just a couple weeks ago on TBG Day (December 27), one of the 2oceansvibe characters, The UK Showbiz Guy (London’s #1 hit music station, Capital FM’s Johnny Vaughan) was with us in the 2oceansvibe online radio studio […]

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Well it had to come to South Africa, didn’t it? I mean, it makes sense – cheap pet health insurance for your dog or cat! In South Africa. Why didn’t YOU think of that? How about a warm round of applause for South Africa’s premier veterinary pet health insurance company – Medipet. See what they […]

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It’s competition time, friends! South Africa’s first and foremost online clothes shopping website, Adam & Eve (www.adamandeve.co.za) is THROWING it around at the moment! South Africa’s #1 online clothes shopping portal Outstanding! In an EXCLUSIVE competition with 2oceansvibe, ONE lucky reader will win one of these STUNNING summer dresses from every Cape Town girl’s best […]

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I thought I had found the perfect “tame” Cape Town handyman. He was not very different to the naked guy on the beach in Along Came Polly. He was very foreign, had a pony tail and was nothing short of “steamy.” He did everything from painting my house to tiling my deck – everything was […]

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I don’t often laugh out loud. Most things simply aren’t that funny these days. Everything just seems to be a variation of something else. MOST comic acts are so bad of late that I actually feel violated after watching them. I generally go home, weakened; I dive into the shower and scrub my body, in […]

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After a wonderful night at Caprice, following their ever successful Caprice Volleyball Day, we were treated to another pearler from our Lord Jesus Christ in the form of today’s perfect day (late 20’s, no cloud, no wind. Very sexual). I packed the perfect beach bag and took Libby (my scooter) down to The Strip to […]

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I surveyed Camps Bay from The Safe House, caned a joint, hopped on Libby (my scooter) and took a cruise to The Strip to scope out the skirt. You’d be a fool not to on a day like today. I liked what I saw. I parked the beast and made a couple calls on the […]

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I’m not going to get heavily into it, guys. You know, I’ve tried them all. Some are good, some are crap. Some will do. Some won’t at all . Some are cheap, some are pricey – some are dry, some are greasy. It’s a mine field out there. Finding the right product for your hair […]

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John Smit’s phone doesn’t have MMS so he was unable to send us a pic at this exact point in time, as the Springbok bus is currently making its way around Cape Town. I asked if he thought it was going well and he replied, "so far I would say it’s going well." Clearly tongue-in-cheek, […]

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A bird in the hand was clearly better than killing two in the bush with one stone for this young lady! My inbox has been involved in a bit of self-mutilation of late and, as a result, this TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) sighting was nearly gone forever! It is quite staggering that a sighting of […]

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