We have all been eager to know exactly what was in the report submitted to the court following Oscar’s 30-day observation. Although the findings of the psychological evaluation were initially not to be reported by the media – as ruled by Judge Masipa- but this ruling was amended late on Friday as the City Press came to an agreement with the defence team.

The City Press have said that the report offers support to both the prosecution and the defence, but that neither legal team have really taken it as fact as yet and it will be Judge Masipa’s decision as to how much weight it carries in the judgement of the case.

“We had such a bright future and now it is dark.”

This is what a broken and lonely Oscar Pistorius told clinical psychologist Melissa Fernihough during his mental evaluation at Pretoria’s Weskoppies Hospital.

The detailed psychological report reveals that the only thing stopping Pistorius from taking his own life is his belief that “his family has been through enough”.

“He initially denied having suicidal thoughts but indicated that he does think that things would be easier if he was dead,” Fernihough wrote.[…]

The psychiatric report consists of three separate documents. The first report was written by psychologist Professor Jonathan Scholtz, to which Fernihough’s report is attached. The second was compiled by three psychiatrists who assessed him to determine whether his boating accident in impacted on his mental functioning.

Scholtz and Fernihough’s reports paint a picture of a broken man who has lost interest in life.

Since shooting Steenkamp, Pistorius has lost 10kg, battles to sleep and survives on anti-depressants.

He said he felt “frustrated and alone”, that he is “going nowhere and that it won’t get better despite his faith”. He is also, at times, unable to accept his situation.

He admitted to Fernihough that he “feels more worthless as compared to other people, he feels guilty all the time and that he is being punished.”

Since the shooting, Pistorius has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, is severely depressed and is at risk of suicide.

The report also reveals some of Oscar’s childhood difficulties and the difficult relationships he had as a result of his athletic fame. It is a very personal expose of his life and his thoughts so it is understandable that initially Judge Masipa did not want it published in the media. It does, however, paint a very human picture of the man on trial and of the difficulties he is facing as a result of his actions.

Read more from the City Press’ redacted report here.