Conspiracy theorists are going ape after a photograph of Pamela Anderson carrying a vegan ‘Pret a Manger’ sandwich confirmed the allegations of “Julian Assange himself”, that Anderson tried to poison him with the food when visiting.
According to The Daily Beast, Anderson was just going to Assange to talk about a new trust she was looking at opening:
In the paparazzi pictures, the PETA darling is shown clutching several Pret a Manger bags, as well as a copy of fashion designer Vivienne Westwood’s new book. (For those of you not around Manhattan’s midtown, Pret is a popular, perfectly adequate sandwich shop.)
Apparently, Westwood is the visionary behind this legendary blind date. According to the British designer, “I was supposed to take Pamela Anderson to see Julian in the embassy but she got the date wrong, so she went on her own the day after me…She told me afterwards that they got on very well. Julian was just brilliant.” Westwood added that Anderson is attempting to “help people with her new trust, and that [Assange] gave her some ideas on how to do that.”
So what happened? Well, after the visit, Anderson spoke to the press saying, “I really believe in him and think he’s a good person, and I’m concerned about his health, his family, and I just hope that by some miracle he’s set free.”
But then Wikileaks released a number of weird tweets:
They were immediately declared a “dead man’s switch,” meant to be activated when and if Assange met his untimely end – and the timing of these tweets immediately pointed to death by Pret.
The Daily Beast rounded up a few conspiracy theorists’ comments:
“Don’t trust unconfirmed reports of Assange being alive. The Clinton machine is capable of body doubles,” wrote one user, adding “ARREST PAMELA ANDERSON NOW.” Controversial pickup artist and blogger Roosh V similarly elevated social media discourse, noting, “Pamela Anderson brought ‘healthy food’ for Julian Assange on Sunday. If he’s dead, I’d have that food tested.”
Can you even.
Here’s the deal with those tweets:
The imagined existence of a WikiLeaks “dead man’s switch” is largely inspired by a 349 GB, heavily-encrypted WikiLeaks file from 2013, which is oft-cited as “WikiLeaks insurance.”
But as Gizmodo pointed out, these three new tweets have a clear, separate purpose. “Pre-commitment” is a means of ensuring that unreleased information isn’t tampered with. If the documents in question are changed in the future, those alterations will likewise alter these 64-character codes. The fact that this is a common strategy for protecting sensitive information should be enough to assuage Assange supporters.
Furthermore, the WikiLeaks pioneer’s real “dead man’s switch” would almost certainly amount to more than three leaks.
Soon enough, however, it was confirmed that Assange was alive and well when a Wikileaks volunteer tweeted this image:
But of course, the plot thickened – Assange’s Internet was intentionally cut off on Sunday afternoon, and quickly brought the blame back to Pamela (who was actually a “Hilary Clinton body-double”) and her sandwich.
I guess that’s the last sandwich Pamela ever takes anyone.
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