Kanye West is a bit of a strange cat.
I’ve never been a big fan, but when he went full Trump MAGA-styles, claiming Donnie made him feel like Superman, I really lost interest.
This time around, he’s in the news for a slightly less deranged line of thinking – nibbling on earwax.
Did he, or didn’t he, eat his own earwax this past Sunday, whilst at a gospel concert in the Watts neighbourhood of Los Angeles?
If you go with the general sentiment on Twitter, you would say yes.
Here’s the video that everyone is sharing:
— . (@j0rgecastr0) September 1, 2019
What do you think?
Because this is really important stuff (it’s not, but maybe we need a little break from the horror show of the past few days), Rolling Stone decided to break the video down in a frame-by-frame investigation.
Off we go…
Exhibit A: Scratch and Sniff
Upon closer examination, it appears West’s fingers never touch his inner ear canal to gather a glob of cerumen. Instead, he performs more of a scratching motion to his ear lobe. After enhancing the video output to maximum operational levels [Ed. Note: He just pressed the fullscreen button], there was no evidence of earwax excavating in sight. In fact, there isn’t a sign of any ear excrement on West’s fingers.
This is vital. I agree with the above.
Exhibit B: Taste Test
When West finishes touching his ear, his fingers immediately move to his mouth. However, if one plays close attention, it appears that he is trying to get something off of his tongue. There is no instance where it looks like West is savoring the (presumably) bitter and exotic flavor of his ear canal.
Why are we assuming earwax is bitter and exotic? You are welcome to conduct your own taste test.
Exhibit C: The Throw
After West’s fingers graze his tongue, he performs a throwing motion. For anyone who has ever had the displeasure of touching earwax, its sticky and molasses-like consistency isn’t conducive to a throwing motion (like a booger, per se). Unfortunately, West was probably experiencing itching discomfort and something foreign in his mouth at the same time.
‘Probably’ isn’t conclusive, but I would tend to agree with the conclusion reached.
In a nutshell, Rolling Stone concludes:
After much deliberation, I feel it proper to use the power vested in me by the state of the music magazine that employs me to clear Kanye West of all earwax and earwax-adjacent charges. You don’t have to believe what you see on Twitter.
You’re off the hook for this one, Kanye.
Aren’t you glad we cleared this up?
[imagesource: Samir Hussein / Getty] Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, has died at ...
[imagesource: Facebook / Chenin Blanc Association] It's less than 24 hours to go until ...
[imagesource: NBC / Getty Images] More cowbell! If you know, you know. 21 years a...
[imagesource: Curveball Media] Life's too short to spend time waiting for things to buf...
[imagesource: Dezeen] There's this architecture studio, Abiboo, with headquarters in Sp...