There was a stunning email going around this last week which contained an email conversation between a landlord's agent and the tenant. The topic was to do with the landlord's concern over the amount of people living in the house. The tenant's response was hysterical and the agent subsequently found out about the emails being sent around the internet - with hilarious results. (who talks like that?)
I thought this pic would just set the tone for the story
Read this in order:
> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2007 4:03 PM
> >To: Michael Hustler
> >Cc: Tim Neville; Jonathan Kearins; Nick Babos
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Hi Guys,
> >
> >During the last inspection it came to the owners attention that there is
> >more than 4 people living in the property. Please advise / confirm as
> >the owner has requested this information urgently.
> >
> >As there is only 4 people on the lease and the applications were
> >approved on this basis we must ask that the tenants (not currently
> >listed on the lease) to fill out and submit application forms
> >immediately.
> >
> >Once this has been done we will be in contact to advise if the
> >applications have been approved.
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
> >Property Manager
> >Belle Property Rentals
_______________________________
> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2007 5:29 PM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >Jade,
> >
> >There is definitely not more than 4 people living in the house and never
> >has been. I will declare that formally if required. There may have been
> >a guest staying at the time (but I don't think so) but this is unusual -
> >unusual it would occur during the week that is.
> >
> >As you know Jade, we are 4 single young men making every day count. We
> >feel we are at the peak of our powers right now and sometimes this
> >involves us flexing it a little on the Sydney social circuit. I don't
> >proclaim to be a rock star but I am not a homebody either - my fellow
> >housemates will attest to this and I will attest to them in the same
> >vein. Some things transcend from heightened social stamina and one of
> >those Jade is over night guests. I think we both know what we're talking
> >about.
> >
> >So it seems we may simply be caught up on a definitional point. We only
> >have 4 people living at Trelawney but we do have guests quite regularly.
> >Babsy has more guests than Jonny for example but Jonny's standards are
> >higher - that's neither here nor there.
> >
> >We work hard and we play hard Jade and unfortunately the play spills
> >over a little but this does not constitute a breach of lease. All in all
> >I think we are excellent tenants and hold the premises in high regard.
> >
> >Please put this on the file.
> >
> >Tim
> >
> >p.s. about that dinner we have been trying to organize, how about next
> >week?
_______________________________
> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Friday, 13 July 2007 11:16 AM
> >To: Tim Neville
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Hi Tim,
> >
> >I've cleared it with the owners so everything should be fine now.
> >
> >I hate it when old people act like that. They probably haven't seen any
> >action for years. Old bastards causing me trouble!
> >
> >About dinner, I've fairly busy next week but Wednesday or Thursday night
> >are both free if that's okay with you. Let me know.
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
_______________________________
> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Friday, 13 July 2007 4:41 PM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >Jade,
> >
> >I'm otherwise disposed on Wednesday, so Thursday it will be. How about
> >we meet at Hugo's at around 7 and go from there.
> >
> >Enjoy your weekend.
> >
> >
> >
> >Tim
_______________________________
> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Monday, 16 July 2007 9:03 AM
> >To: Tim Neville
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Hi Tim,
> >
> >That sounds perfect!
> >
> >See you then. Looking forward to it.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
> >Property Manager
> >Belle Property Rentals
_______________________________
> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Monday, 16 July 2007 10:08 AM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >I should hope that you are looking forward to it.
> >
> >Now no more talk until Thursday night. I want you to save up all of that
> >energy and excitement for then.
> >
> >Tim
_______________________________
> >From: Jade Atkins
> >Sent: Monday, 23 July 2007 12:53 PM
> >To: Tim Neville
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >Dear Tim aka Arsehole,
> >
> >Why the f*** are people calling me and emailing me about your email?
> >
> >I can't believe that you or your pathetic friends would be low enough to
> >forward it around the internet like that.
> >
> >
> >People in my office think I'm a f***ing idiot because of it. I could
> >lose my job over this!
> >
> >Maybe I should send an email around telling everyone how f***ing tiny
> >your cock is and how you were so useless in bed.
> >
> >
> >I hope you f*** off and die.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >Yours Sincerely,
> >
> >Jade Atkins
> >Property Manager
> >Belle Property Rentals
_______________________________
> >From: Tim Neville
> >Sent: Monday, 23 July 2007 3:08 AM
> >To: Jade Atkins
> >Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
> >Importance: High
> >
> >
> >Jade,
> >
> >I might save you the trouble and forward this around on your behalf.
> >
> >While many people will certainly take offence to what I have said (and
> >already have), the majority of people will get a good laugh at how low
> >your self esteem must be to not only scramble around to save us from any
> >trouble with the owners, but to also sleep with someone who clearly has
> >no respect for you.
> >
> >As for the size of my appendage and my performance in bed, I find this
> >quite hard to understand. Not only do I have quite a few repeat
> >customers, but you yourself seemed enthused the other night. Unless you
> >were faking that. But if you do have the ability to fake coming multiple
> >times then you may wish to consider a career in a different industry. I
> >think we both know what I am taking about.
> >
> >I am sorry if you do lose your job over the email. However, as I was not
> >the one who forwarded the emails I am not THAT sorry. But if you do need
> >a job, then I may be able to make some use of you over at our place.
> >However you will not be able to live there: only 4 people on the lease
> >you understand.
> >
> >Tim
We've found the towel shorts we were chatting about the other day! [permalink]
Well I tell you I nearly fell off my chair today! You might remember those shorts I mentioned the other day; the shorts that Hilts was wearing. Remember I asked you very nicely to get yourselves a pair for the Atlantic Seaboard this summer? Anyway there were stacks of people emailing me to ask me to let them know if I found a local stockist with something similar - I had no idea. Then suddenly, a new UK clothing label (featured in Topshop) got in touch with me and told me about their shorts. Can you bloody believe it!? Check this out:
Yes, yes, yes! That's what I'm TALKING about!
I emailed the company back (Lalesso) and asked if they were stocked anywhere locally. YES is what the lady told me! They ARE being sold in Cape Town and I suggest you ladies get your gorgeous little asses to the following outlets IMMEDIATELY before they are sold out:
Nylon - Kloof Street
The Bin - Harrington Street
Blackbeard & Dare - Cavendish (soon, a week or so)
But the BEST way to get these shorts would be to contact Alice Heusser on alice@lalesso.com or phone 079 132 8841 OR visit the studio at 411 The Studios, 112 Buitengracht Street (call for appointment).
I've given you girls a lot of info there. Don't balls this up.
We haven't kept you TOO up to date with Britney because she does crazy stuff every day and it's too exhausting to follow. But you might have heard that she is in a bit of cuck with regards to her kids and her role as a mother.
So I thought you would enjoy these pics of Britney ahead of her CUSTODY BATTLE and CHILD ABUSE CHARGES. Clever girl:
I don't usually enjoy these kind of things, but this one is pretty good. Thabo Mbeki's inbox. It's nicely detailed so have a good look around. If you're not too up to date on your local news, you might not get THAT much enjoyment from it.
Morning morning! I'm feeling a little queezy so will keep it light this morning. I'm sure more will appear once I've had my Vida-e coffee.
Ok, you should take note that our favourite platinum vagina has graced the cover of the German GQ. Let's take a look at that.
Teddy bear - absolute killer
Nice.
I enjoy the granny-type yellow swimming trunks. I like how the elastic at the bottom stops and doesn't go tight against the skin. It's just nice to know that there is some good airflow there. There is nothing better than a woman taking off her granny-trunks and welcoming you to a neat, expertly groomed package, with nothing but new car smell.
I've never been a massive fan of Kylie's sis Dannii Minogue. Probably because one never knows HOW to be a fan of hers. I mean, what does she do? She just appears in various forms of undress in various lads mags. Is that it? 'Cos if all you have to do to be a fan of hers is perve her body in magazines, then, I guess I'm a fan!
Does she sing?
I know ansolutely nothing about this chick - other than this:
Causes internet sensation as she talks the biggest load of crap ever [permalink]
Please enjoy this. A clip showing Miss Carolina 2007 finalist, Lauren Caitlin Upton, answering a question as to why she thinks the majority of Americans are unable to find the US on a map.
She just starts mumbling and bumbling about Iraq and South Africa and Asian countries and education. Aaaah..... shame my babba.
An absolute treat:
Shame my babba!
Why don't you go and bake us some nice hot muffins?
thanks eric
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com [permalink]
We're doing stealth-cool this season, boys and girls, and those in the know have already agreed on this season's most sought after item. The Carlucci's shopping bag.
With the overflow of Louis and Chanel on the Atlantic Seaboard it will be the hard-to-find locally exclusive, absurdly cool, distinctive symbol of of things understatedly hot - The Carlucci's Bag.
Homer enjoys the Carlucci's bag
I got mine today.
As a regular at Carlucci's (one of the stop-offs on the Cape Town Super Circuit), one develops a rapport with the manager and people on the till. I gave it a full go this week and pumped our boy with a R10 note into the tip box next to the till (noting that there was a R20 there already - something they must SURELY plant there - to "set the tone" as it were). Anyway, he was impressed with my gusto and bid me an exuberant evening.
I went to Carlucci's again this afternoon after a very exciting pre-summer cheeky hour-or-two on the beach. I was escorted through the shop and advised on what a great response the new Graham Beck sparkling was getting. I was amazed at the hands-on approach to service I was receiving. Giving in, I grabbed five of the bottles as I was awarded what was as close as one can get to a virtual applause from our boy.
We got to the till after agreeing that some people were indeed going to the beach today. We had a brief prayer session hoping and pleading that this was indeed summer breaking through after the HORRIFYING four-or-so months of winter we had managed to survive (as we (spoilt Capetonians) spend the whole of summer lamenting over how much longer it will last). It was at this point that the guy said to me, "Look, I'm going to give you one of these bags," as he looked at me with an expression that indicates that this is quite a big deal. I was well aware of the coolness and exclusivity that surrounds the simple, clean, distinctive canvas bags and acted normal, just DYING to get out of the shop so that I could celebrate in private.
So that's it, people. I've got mine. I'm ready.
I'm seeing it on the beach this season; filled with towel, snacks, drinks, music, phone, wallet and pot.
Microsoft Paul Allen's yacht, Octopus, cruises into Cape Town [permalink]
I received an mms on my phone (Well, it's the HTC TYTN, so it's more a lifestyle than a phone) from The Marketer on Sunday morning. It was a picture he must have just taken on his phone (also a lifestyle). It looked something like this (click to enlarge) :
"Octopus" - read the message on the phone
Oh my sweet fuck, I thought to myself, as I dialed his number, urgently wanting to know if this was a prank, or if the fifth largest super yacht in the world, Octopus (the second largest not owned by a head of state) was actually docked in Cape Town.
"It's there," he confirmed.
I must say I was a little miffed that I wasn't first phoned, urgently, before time was wasted on taking a photo and mms'ing it to me. I mean, what if it suddenly had to leave!
I instinctively phoned The Entrepreneur and said I would pick him up immediately to go and have a look. We headed for the boat, two cameras on hand - just in case.
R100 got us through the security gate as we approached Octopus from behind (QUIETLY from behind). Enjoy these pics. Click to enlarge.
Octopus enjoys it from behind
A tidy shitter
A little chopper for the boys
Two words - Mind Fuck.
It's like nothing you can imagine. The boys on The Atlantic Seaboard swooning over their Gallardo's need to get everything into perspective and raise their game a little bit. Yachts like this shit out the likes of Cape Town's previous perves, The Ferretti 761 (you might remember when Caprice took us out for a day on the Ferretti), from the side of the yacht just to get to shore.
Noting the two luxury 4X4's parked next to the yacht, we agreed that although vast, wealth of this sort was certainly attainable. We just had to work a little harder. Please enjoy the helicopter on the back (one of three, including the Sikorsky S76). To the top-left of the zoomed in pics of the helicopter above, you will also note the basketball net above the garage.
I took the liberty of finding some pics on the web universe for you. These pics include, the submarine, the swimming pool, the downstairs bar and spa, a couple of the yacht's tenders (part of seven boats docked in the yacht's transom, used to fuck around with and get to shore).
Enjoy.
Here we see the naughty little Sikorsky S76 (one of three choppers) on the back
The pool deck. Note, the lower part of the boat in the pic is where
the chopper was parked earlier
A little bar and spa where we can hang out on jet ski's
Make it a Windhoek, ship-mate!
Octopus farts out one of the "tenders"
One of seven "tenders"
Aah, look! Another one!
A quiet sub
So that was quite fun, hey? I don't know how long the thing is in town but if it is still here you simply MUST try and take a look. It'll blow your socks off. It's parked at the harbour's "D-berth." Turn right at the first circle as you come into the Waterfront's main entrance - heading towards The Clocktower. Go straight and turn right at the next (might be one after) circle that comes up after that. Drive straight through and it'll be on your left. Look carfefully cos there is a building in the way. You can get to a fence facing the front of the yacht quite easily which is more than enough to enjoy it. Or you can be a little crafty and also try your luck getting through the gate on the other side. Wear your smooth-talking shoes and visit and ATM before you go.
It was all for you - this will blow your mind [permalink]
A number of you have been writing in asking for a follow-up on my earlier article entitled Johannesburg Undercover. I mentioned that I had a secret mission and was not able to divulge the entire story at that point. I needed a few things to unfold before this moment. The reason was that I was attending a fine car auction held by Sotheby's in Rosebank, Johannesburg.
The one lot at the auction was the number plate. "CA 3." I had previously mentioned to a friend of mine living in Europe (who has cars in storage in Cape Town for when he is here) that it would be the biggest salute to the 2oceansvibe lifestyle and mantra "Work is a sideline, live the holiday" if he were to give me the go-ahead to bid for the number plate and win!
I mean, imagine that! Imagine going to a fine car auction and bidding for a number plate and being in with a good chance; made all the more exciting with the foreknowledge that a well-known and respected wealthy Cape Town businessman and fine-car-collector was adamant of winning and would stop at (virtually) nothing to obtain Cape Town's rarest number to ever go on auction, ever.
Ever.
Now let's just back this up a bit. The last time I saw this number plate was eight months ago on a lady's car in Mouille Point (who lived in the block next to my office). My European friend who was in town at the time had just purchased his new (substantial) Cape-Town-car and we were taking a look at it in front of the hotel he was staying in. He is a smooth gentleman and certainly lives the absolute maximum 2oceansvibe lifestyle.
Acknowledging his vibe I suggested that the number plate CA 3 would take his car to new levels previously unknown to mankind. I explained that there were personalised plates around town (which end with the letters "WP") of which SOME were cool, but those in the know knew that the CA plates are more about stealth-wealth; in a sort of new vs. old money kind of way (The Kennedy's vs Footballer's Wives). He knew I wasn't fucking him around and agreed for me to leave a letter in the car's wipers offering to purchase the number plate for a healthy sum of money.
I wrote the letter and luckily the car window was open, as I placed it next to the gear lever.
I never heard another word for eight months when suddenly, out of the fucking blue, I was called by the family who own the number plate, saying that they had found the letter and the number plate was going on auction on Monday (this was on WEDNESDAY)!
The hamsters in my head were going MENTAL at this stage. The first thing I thought of was you. I NEED to make this happen for the 2oceansvibe readers. They WANT this. They NEED this. Christ, Africa needs this!
I pumped an email through to my buddy, saying that I had to go and get it for him. He agreed and POEF! I was off to Johannesburg to bid for CA 3, against one of the BIG GUYS. Would that not be what YOU, my precious readers would want? YES! YES IT IS! That is EXACTLY what you would want!
I went with The Jo'burg Attaché and we won!
I know!
And it was GRUELLING. Head to head with the other guy bidding over the phone!
Mental!
Hysterics aside, we walked out and were swamped by reporters asking what planet we had come from. I hadn't planned this part and suggested they call me in the morning as my heart was going about Mach-8.
I called our boy and told him we had won. He was pleased and, regarding the reporters, agreed that his name should be omitted and this was a 2oceansvibe moment to please the readers. Seth Rotherham could prove, once again, how much he you adores you - using mainstream media! The ultimate prize!
And so, my sweets, THAT is why I have taken so long to report back. I couldn't pass this up.
And so, in completion, I have it for you in print and radio.
As Amy Winehouse gives us the real deal [permalink]
Just when you thought Rock & Roll was dead and Live Aid had taken over and hotel rooms would no longer be trashed, Amy Winehouse brings it in for the real thing. The Daily Mail reports that Ames and her boyfriend went on a ballistic drug-fueled bender in their hotel room and then ran around London with blood all over them and wounds to their faces, hands and feet.
AWESOME!
Old school rock
Whilst the likes of Bono are fraternising with The Pope and saving the world, it's nice to see rock & roll is alive and well. Kurt would be impressed.
As nation still believes he could take Wimbledon next year, irrespective [permalink]
The more hardened of you readers out there will be well aware that I run a pre-Wimbledon story every year about Tim Henman and how he has had to endure the annual relentless, unwavering, unfair, unreal expectations of a nation to win Wimbledon - a process which has confirmed every sportsman's fear of pre-game jinxing. Hence his retiring after 14 years never having won a grand slam, let alone being knocked out of the Wimbledon second round three years in a row.
Well done, guys - you've finally killed Timiny.
Timiny is to the Brits what Kenny is to South Park.
Tiger Tim gives one of his CLASSIC
power-punches HARD into the air.
BANG! POW! YEAH!
Fucken-A!
So there you have it. God, there is so much work to be done! I mean, all those action figures (with extras including "Henman Hill" with detachable fans), and play-play Henman teeth! Nope, this won't be easy.
This is not an article about Paris Hilton, as much as it is a request to the girls attending Camps Bay beach this upcoming season.
This is what I am talking about (click to enlarge pics).
Hilts shows us this season's Atlantic Seaboard shorts
You'll notice (apart from an apparent boob op) that Hilts is wearing similar shorts in both of these pics. One green and one white. I want you (girls out there) to take special note of the material, shape, hem and cut of these shorts. You've seen them before; they're generally made out of a kind of toweling material, always with a thick elastic at the top.
This is what I'm seeing this season on Cape Town's Atlantic Seaboard. Let's buy a few pairs of these, girls. And let's wear them. Wear them on the beach, wear them at Caprice - as long as you WEAR them.
Let's have a closer look at those guys.
Note the elastic around the waist.
Note the material.
That's what we're looking for.
Don't be shy of baby pink either (think Barbie). Or pink with white trim. Or vice versa.
Feel free to suck lollipops and act a little spastic when you walk.
Does daddy's little angel want some ice-cream? Is THAT what daddy's little angel wants?
Hmm. I don't know about THAT! Has the little angel been behaving?
Hey? Answer daddy!
"Yes, I have been behaving."
I beg your pardon?
"YES!"
Yes WHO?
"Yes, DADDY!"
That's better. Let's get the little babba some ice-cream.
I'm sorry but Dolce & Gabbana's new ad for men's fragrance "Light Blue" is COMPLETELY pushing it. When I turned the page of my new Vanity Fair and was presented with the double-page spread, I thought I was under attack by this incredible spice master's crotch. It's so rude.
Check this guy's vibe! Check that white speedo! It's OUT OF CONTROL!
As Her Royal Highness decides to take a day off [permalink]
I returned to The Safe House today at about lunch time after a standard morning of saving the lives of small children and spreading goodwill. Although only 1pm, it seems that Mavis decided that her job was done for the day and she had even taken the liberty of leaving me another little note. (you may have seen the other notes before in the Mavis section of this site).
Hmm....what's this now, I thought to myself?
Mavis the Psychic notes down her latest vision
Interesting...
Mavis has worked out that she is not feeling well at LUNCH TIME and seems to have some form of insight into how she will feel in 18 HOURS TIME! AFTER SLEEPING!
Amazing!
She is CLEARLY trying to kill me and I am QUITE confident that she is taking drugs.
You see, unlike most Domestic Executives, Mavis doesn't find it necessary to REQUEST things - she merely ANNOUNCES what is going down. Like when she ANNOUNCES to The P.A. that the Safe House is low on Flora margarine (requesting the biggest tub available on the shelves - enough to bath in) or when she feels that soft two-ply toilet paper is not good enough. Luxury toilet paper usually only reserved for ballerinas and cherubs is the only way forward for Mavis.
That reminds me of when I told Mavis that, although very impressed with her skills, I had found a chink in her armour. She pulled a face that indicated that she VERY MUCH DOUBTS that I have anything to teach her.
"Follow me," I said, leading her to the bathroom.
I explained that when replacing a used toilet roll, the new toilet roll had to be put on so as to peel off the TOP of the roll DOWN, rather than from the bottom of the roll UP.
That was when she threw in a little chuckle and explained that she found the topic QUITE INTERESTING because, you see, SHE IS LEFT-HANDED and that is the reason why she prefers it to come from the BOTTOM UP.
[You might have to read over that again, slowly, so as to fully grasp what I have just said]
Oh is THAT why you put it on the toilet roll like that?! For when YOU poo! Well I MUST apologise - I had NO IDEA that everything around us has been tailor made for you. How very rude of me. God, how silly of me - I COMPLETELY forgot you were left handed! (Duh!).
You'll notice the webcam on this site is going through a bit of a wobble at the moment. You see there is building going on at The Safe House and everything is in the wrong place. I did, however, get this pic of Mavis for you the other day. I was just toying with the idea of installing some sort of a Mavis Cam to keep an eye on Mavis in the day.
I got this shot whilst I was out saving lives the other day. You'll notice that Mavis decided to take a moment out of watching e-TV WWE wrestling and did a spot of ironing! Shame, Mavis, are you ok?
I thought it only right to put the webcam BEHIND her, in order to protect her identity.
I thought this would be a good time to let you know that a member of the 2oceansvibe family is taking part in the show. You might remember Angie who was featured on this site in the article entitled "Caprice Volleybal Flesh Extravaganza," and was displayed in the following photograph:
A little camo bikini bottom for the boys
Those of you who don't know Angie will see/enjoy her tonight on MNET's Survivor at 20h00. Except this time she will look more like this:
Angie - eats wooden people for breakfast
So there you have it! As a part of the 2oceansvibe family, you will be pleased that you have someone to support for this season's Survivor South African.
Hi team! I've been very crafty here and pretended that this article was put up on Tuesday when, in fact, it is WEDNESDAY right now! I am SO out of control at the moment!
Anyhoo, enjoy these recent pics of Sienna. She has a lovely little pair of guys. Very much my vibe. Not that I'm too fussy. Well I am but, you know...
It is a particularly exciting day today as I find myself on a plane flying from Cape Town to Johannesburg, returning tomorrow. I so very badly want to tell you the reason I am off on this little tour but to tell too much would be to shoot myself in the foot.
All I can tell you is that I am staying at the Johannesburg version of the Cape Grace, called The Grace. Nothing wrong.. It’s 5 stars. Which is a given. I wasn’t aware that you could get less than 5 stars in a single serving.
Anyway. A driver will fetch me at the airport when I land and take me to The Grace whereupon I will check into my suite and probably receive a massage. I suggest they open the mini-bar before I arrive. I will have a couple of hours to myself so will probably wreak havoc in and around the hotel and see how many ludicrous things I can get the staff to do. This should also be plenty time for me to get into character, as I prepare for the evening’s event. At 16h00 on the dot I will be visited by The Jo’burg Attaché, who will be joining me for tonight’s mission .
After a powerful hug and a whiskey we will proceed directly to the Stephen Welz & C0. (in association with Sotheby’s) “Classic, collectable cars, motor Cycles and Automobilia auction.” The auction starts at 19h00 and will feature over 90 lots, including the 1938 Mercedes Benz 540K Cabriolet B Supercharged, which is expected to fetch between R7,2m and R10,8m. I won’t be bidding for that and, sadly, I cannot tell you what I will be bidding for at this stage. What I CAN tell you is that it is one of the SPICIEST things I have ever done and I will be coming back to Cape Town victorious!
Sunday Times main section back page ad stuns the nation [permalink]
Apart from the classic penis/carrot joke which will never lose its charm (seen here at our horse feeding outing a while back), I don't welcome phallic comparison humour. It's boring. It's tacky. That is why I am being dead serious when I say that I found the Transnet ad in the Sunday Times WHOLLY inappropriate.
It probably would have been fine in a mag or a half page in the paper - but a full page ad! It's just too big. That's like the size of my torso. Before you focus on it and realise what it is you just immediately think PENIS. The Sunday Times has been sabotaged! Someone has held the printers hostage and forced them to print a massive cock on the back page. All of this happened before my eyes focused and by the end of it I had a cold sweat down my back.
It wasn't only because of the shape, but also because yellow suggests the colour of flesh...... I think...... or maybe I'm referring more to the fact that mielies ("corn", for our international readers) are shiny - suggesting the more intimate, moist parts of our flesh (I'm sorry but I'm trying to find the right words here ). Either way, if you take these split-second messages sent to your brain, combined with the loose strands (from the mielie having been opened) it's nothing but a dick surrounded by a thicket of pubes.
You probably think I'm overdoing it. I'm just in shock I suppose.
This ad is not funny. It's rude.
Transnet - using poor, crass humour to advertise their product
Andrew James sent in the last TBG sighting and mentioned that a few of his colleagues had a group photo with The TBG (Tall Blonde Guy). He said they would be sending it in to 2oceansvibe. I forgot about it completely until I received the following email and photograph from
