I’d like to introduce you to the latest idiot to grace the internet with his weird ideas.

Meet Dr. Mike Mew, a man who insists that developing a bizarre obsession with chewing gum will make you more attractive.

Not a joke. This man is real.

He also has a medical degree, which goes to show that education can only take you so far.

Before we go any further, here he is on what he calls “tongue chewing”. This is not to be confused with the disorder that causes people to obsessively chew their own tongues.

Disclaimer – this man has the charisma of drying paint, so do yourself a favour and skip ahead to 1:54 for the relevant info:

In a CrossLink Radio interview, the good doctor explained that we aren’t chewing enough. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t given up on solid food just yet.

Here’s the crux of things:

Food has changed so much that the brain is making chewing obsolete. Do we need teeth to eat, maybe not, but according to another dentist, Dr. Michael Gelb, teeth support the airway. No matter how you look at it the modern face, the modern mouth, and modern health depends on straight teeth.

Cool. So we need teeth, and we need to look after them.

Which doesn’t explain how this happened:

To summarise, your New Year’s resolutions should include:

1. Distributing the “chewing gum everywhere” to eliminate the risk of not having chewing gum.
2. This also ensures that the chewing gum is “screaming out at you to be used” – this is apparently what “new years resolutions are all about”.
3. Then you need a talisman, in this case, a “silly” cow that can sit on the table and “remind you of itself” (it took me a minute to process that one, so take your time).
4. Tips for using it include picking up the “silly cow” or whatever you choose and putting it behind your back as a physical reminder to chew gum.

If your year so far doesn’t include a silly cow and a ridiculous amount of gum then you’ll never be good looking. If it does, you can join the doc’s followers, who call themselves “Mewers”.

This is up there with the worst cult/religion/trend ever.

Whatever you want to call it, a group of ceramic-cow-wielding, gum-chewing weirdos are not my idea of a good time.

[source:crosslinkradio]