Remember the most hated bakkie in Cape Town? The Big Issue vendor who suffered unwarranted humiliation at the hands of has shown us once again why this country is ultimately worth believing in. Despite initial reports that Florence Godonwana, 36, would lay charges of crimen injuria against the men who threw water on her, she […]
The jailed blogger, or “The SilverStreak in his natural habitat” Unless the only entrant in the blog awards is the government. And the government was the judging panel. Even then, they’d probably be a little reticent to set that kind of thing up. Apparently Bahrain isn’t so keen on bloggers, or that “Freedom of Expression” […]
On Saturday afternoon, at around 15h30, a group of young men in a white bakkie (that’s a “pick-up” or a “ute” for our foreign readers) called a Big Issue vendor over to their stationary vehicle at a traffic light in central Cape Town. They then allegedly poured acid water all over her, and her wares. […]
…And has decided that it can’t shoulder all of the responsibility for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, an ecological disaster of biblical proportions. In fact, BP have scrutinised the situation so finely that they’ve come to the conclusion that they can’t bear much of the blame for the mass rape of North America’s Gulf at […]
Cue pithy comments related to hedge funds! Hedge funds, get it? Hedge funds? Forget it. Forbes recently reported that an executive of New Stream Capital, Tara Bryson, was arrested and charged with running a marijuana factory from her 6 000 square foot home, because, apparently, it’s a tough financial gig being a loan shark.
US news wires were buzzing this morning with news that a hostage situation was unfolding at the Discovery Channel headquarters in Montgomery County, USA. This, from the Associated Press: James Lee, 43, a gunman with what police described as “concerns” with the Discovery Channel networks took at least one person hostage in the company’s Silver […]
We chatted the other day about this new concept in the East, which presents uncaptured TV news in animated form. A good example would be the scene where Steve Slater grabbed two beers and jumped out the plane. None of this was caught on camera but apparently in China they got a good idea of […]
And when I say “SA”, I mean Saudi Arabia. Of course, I couldn’t possibly be talking about the South Africa “SA”. We don’t sever the spinal cords of our criminals. We send them to cooking school. But enough of such tom foolery. Where were we? Ah yes. Corporal punishment. You see, they’re quite keen on […]
The Guardian reports that an Italian soccer show, Quelli Che il Calcio (of course), has been used as a communications hub by the Mafia to communicate with the Men of Respect doing hard time in the chookie. You know those shows where illiterate viewers text in with their cell phones, and the show scrolls the […]
The Sun (the vanguard of high-integrity journalism in the United Kingdom) reported this morning that residents of a council estate in West York are being terrorised by monstrously-sized rodents. One man, known only as “Brandon” was the hero of the moment, after he shot one of the beasts twice in the head, thereby smiting it […]
What do you get when you combine rape, ghetto smack talk, potentially gay men, and Auto Tunes? No, the answer is NOT “Kuilsriver”. That’s not amusing. Shame on you. The correct answer would be: “Greatest DIY Ghetto Anthem of All Time”, or alternatively, “Eat Your Heart Out, Die Antwoord”. Here’s a little illuminating background info […]
I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the latest example of South African Police Service Force overkill. Journalist Mzilikazi wa Afrika was arrested for a yet-to-be-defined offense rather uncomfortably soon after the same journalist leveled serious corruption allegations against Police Brigadier General His Worship The Most Reverend Doctor His Honour Bheki Cele. Read on for […]
The North Korean football team, along with it’s entire complement of staff, were recently subjected to a “grand debate”, to discuss the tender matter of their ideological betrayal of their nation. The players were hoofed up on stage, and the big daddys spanked them for about six hours. I was actually there at the time. […]
WikiLeaks founder and destroyer-in-chief of American military credibility, Julian Assange, is not a very well-liked chap. Last week he leaked literally tens of thousands of US Military Afghan War Logs to the press after posting them on WikiLeaks.org. The logs detail the nitty gritty details of the nine-year US occupation of Afghanistan. Assange himself claims […]
The Brett Kebble trial has been roaming the news cycle lately, in case you didn’t know. Incidentally, if you didn’t know, you should probably plug in to the world. It’s quite kiff here. Don’t delude yourself, you’re not a reclusive oil painter, or a brilliant poet laureate wallowing in a malaise of red wine, cheap […]
About three hours ago a Kalk Bay fishermen walked into the e.tv Studios foyer off Kloof Street, and demanded to see the News Editor of e.tv. Surprisingly, the arb fisherman was denied access to the ed by security. And then…And then he lost his temper.
I hope by now that you’re all well versed in sarcasm, and you’ll take the first part of that headline appropriately. Here’s the scoop: Convicted fraudster and conman extraordinaire, Tsepang Morie, managed to hoodwink the entire Springbok rugby team and management by posing as the head of the team’s security detail ahead of their first […]
It doesn’t get more emboerrissing than a former Police Chief and head of INTERPOL, being found guilty of corruption. Burn in hell, Jackie Selebi. Former head of interpol and SA’s Police Chief, Jackie Selebi, has been found guilty Former police chief Jackie Selebi is a person with low moral fibre, who cannot be relied upon, […]
Remember the “alleged” tale of the Grand Daddy Valet who stole a customer vehicle and rolled it 70 kilometres away in Blue Downs? The Grand Daddy Hotel left a comment on that story. Let’s enjoy it with our morning coffee: A response to this post from the Grand Daddy: It is regrettably true that this […]
The Soccer World Cup will attract some 350 000 foreign visitors our shores. Most of them are already arriving, and you can bet they’ll be bringing their national idiosyncrasies with them. Today, we offer a sincere prayer that no fun-loving Dutch fans bring this quirky bit of fan paraphernalia with them, or they WILL be […]
According to a report by Shanghai’s Southern Weekly, the southern Chinese city has a bit of a McProblem. And that would be the McRefugees. It’s a pretty heavy vibe.
A mobile phone company in Bulgaria has suspended a particular mobile phone number, 0888 888 888, after “every single person assigned to it died in the last 10 years.”
Nigerian politicians are pretty colourful characters, if news reports are anything to go by. If they haven’t got two kilograms of coke (NOT the kind that fizzes with Mentos) in their political tummies, then they’re off marrying Egyptian 13 year-olds.
The South Africa Police Service – a bastion of efficiency, and relatively humourous accents. Ever tried calling 10111? No answer, right? Exactly. Because every South African police service man or woman is out on the STREETS. Bam. Chew on that rubber bullet, critics. But in all sincerity, we’re pretty lucky to have a decent police […]
Morning boys and girls. By golly, do we have some fun for you this morning. Ever been the victim of camera theft? Ever thought a retrieved photo of your sun burnt gluteus maximus might pave the way for you recovering your camera? Well, you can think it now. We got this email from a truly […]
Word on the street is that a valet attendant employed by the four star Grand Daddy on Long Street may have allegedly abused his position last Saturday night. And when we say “abused his position”, what we really mean to say is “stole a Grand Daddy client’s Mini Cooper Sport, and wrecked it Jub Jub […]
A new website, by the name of www.stephaniekohler.co.za has gone viral in South Africa’s Twitter universe. From what initially like someone’s own personal webpage, the person to which the domain name refers, “Stephanie Kohler,” has nothing to do with the website whatsoever, other than being the target of an online attack. Retribution for alleged fraudulent […]
Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman Patrick Bateman Was Based On Tom Cruise – Mary Harron, the director of the film adaptation of Brett Easton Ellis’ 1991 classic novel, American Psycho, sat down for an interview recently and was asked about Christian Bale’s inspiration for the book’s Manhattan serial-killing monster, Patrick Bateman. He found it on […]
There’s something very special about logging into News24.com and finding yourself confronted with the leading story shown below: The “Penis Killers” were fired.. They say it in a way that suggests you should know about these characters. In a way that suggests everyone is talking, quite frankly, about the “Penis Killers.” Can you imagine the […]
An anonymous source dropped off a flash drive with the Cape Royale concierge, for my attention. The drive contained scans of all the documents pertaining to the recent Formula 1 scandal, involving the Renault F1 team, boss Flavio Briatore and driver Nelson Piquet Jnr. The same scandal which has resulted in Flavio’s recent immediate resignation […]