As Jonny Faull raises funds to go to Harvard [permalink]
Somebody told me the other day that "your Net Worth is your NetWork" and I couldn't agree more (we've chatted about the book, Never Eat Alone). That's pretty much how I work things and I'm always keen to help someone out that I believe in. You know, someone I can place a bet on. Or, more to the point, someone who looks like they could be heading into the political arena!
Whilst donations to political parties are heavily scrutinised these days, there's nothing like getting in with someone on the inside, before he even gets there!
Enter Jonathan Faull (UCT) who has recently been accepted to the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University, to pursue a Masters in Public Policy (MPP). A week later, still doing cartwheels, our boy found out about the costs of the course. We won't mention exact fugures, but let's call it half a bar!
Check out the website and let's give the boy a hand. You never know how handy it could be! Personally, I think the ROI is bigger than we think.
NOTHING wrong with having a guy inside one of the big campaigns in years to come.
YOU: Hey, Jonny....I'm having a bit of a problem and I need some paperwork to disappear. I just remembered a few years back when you were raising funds to go to Harvard and you had that website and I...
We don't make obvious jokes, here at 2oceansvibe; preferring CLEVER jokes... sophisticated jokes. It is for that exact reason that we will refrain from making any lewd "ring" jokes to do with the fact that this topless scene comes from Mischa Barton's new movie, Closing the Ring.
I'm not kidding - that's what it's called.
Click image for NSFW image of Mischa Barton's Tuesday Tabs.
Mischa Barton, Closing the Ring
I'm quite pleased with her form. They're a great size. Great shape. Very comfortable. Good work, Misch kebab!
It wouldn't be fair to not tell you about the video of this scene being available on the internet. So I'll tell you. It's available on the internet. If you want to see it, click the link on the "i" of "2oceansvibe," below.
Does it get any better than morning shower on Camps Bay beach? [permalink]
I know people who, at the right moment in the year, would pay up to R20,000 to land in Cape Town, have a morning shower on a hot day on Camps Bay beach, and fly STRAIGHT home afterwards. And I don't mean just a normal beach shower. I'm talking about a PROPER shower, with soap. And lather.
The Roofer was in Camps Bay on Friday and made use of his phone camera to send me a very special MMS.
Aah, good morning to yer!
R20,000 experience
How about that? Our homeless buddy over here basically MADE R20,000 on Friday morning!
That is what the future will be like. We'll be able to plugin to other people's minds, for a fee - to experience what they're experiencing. People will pay this homeless guy R20,000 for that hour. I tell you what, he won't be homeless for very long after that! Instead, he will increase his fee, and let you experience boning one of the models that follow him around.
Hello, good morning! It's a public holiday over here in South Africa so I ask our international readers to forgive me - my offerings will be completely random today. I've got breakfast at Cappers with my G Man shortly - perhaps our pre-breakfast joint will create an interesting forum for discussion.
In the meantime, I wanted to highlight the importance of saying the line "who's the best pilot" from the movie Top Gun, properly. Ice Man (Val Kilmer) seems to be eating a handful of bar nuts when he delivers the line. So much so, that he doesn't quite finish the word "pilot" and it comes across as "piler" or, even, "piley." It's pretty fucking funny.
Saturday night at The Assembly - 2oceansvibe competition [permalink]
From Baraza to Ibiza!
Just back from their World Tour playing with the likes of Macy Gray and going HUGE by signing up a residency at Pacha in Ibiza (headlining with Basement Jaxx and Faithless), Dom and Baby-Jesus (Goldfish) have put together a couple of exclusive live gigs in town to keep the local fans' blood pumping!
Their new album "Perceptions of Pacha," will be on sale at each venue, before it hits ALL MUSIC STORES countrywide! It's also, obviously, available at Kalahari. Christ, these boys have gone big! Their album is also about to be released WORLDWIDE by Pacha Records.
What's more, 2oceansvibe is giving away FIVE pairs of tickets for tomorrow's gig at The Assembly in Cape Town. That's right, you can skip the fucking queue! And we'll throw in FIVE CD's AS WELL! That's how absolutely crazy things are around here at the moment!
To win tickets for Saturday night's gig at The Assembly in Cape Town, email editor@2oceansvibe.com the answer to the following question.
What is Seth Rotherham's middle name?
First five correct answers win a pair of tickets and a CD each!
"The 26-year-old American kept her poise and that's why the lady is now a champion, becoming the first woman in a century of open-wheel racing to win an event after taking the checkered flag in Sunday's Indy Japan 300.
"Dreams really do come true. You just have to be persistent enough," Patrick said. "This was a long time coming. I can only say I'm just glad it's over.
"I'm not going to lie. I was getting frustrated. I believed in myself. It was just a matter of when it was going to happen. I've been asked so many times when I'm going to win my first race -- finally no more of those questions."
Patrick jumped to third in the Indy-car points list after three events, 14 behind Brazilian leader Helio Castroneves, and will be the talk of next month's Indianapolis 500, where her fourth-place effort in 2005 is the best by a woman."
Whilst there is no parallel parking involved in Indy car racing WHATSOEVER, I must admit, that is pretty impressive. I'll tell you what's even more impressive are these shots taken for FHM magazine in 2003.
"Actor Billy is now moving back to Los Angeles for good after moving out of their £1million farmhouse in Kent.
A source said: “After much soul-searching, Kelly decided that Billy is not the man she wants to marry and has called off the engagement.
“The split is completely amicable (whatever - Seth) and the decision was made after long conversations here and in the US. They remain good friends.”
The couple had planned to tie the knot in a romantic ceremony at their 600-year-old farmhouse last year."
Whilst I certainly am pleased that she is back on the market, we should really take a moment to reflect on the fantastic age gap between the two of them! Tapping that at 42.... jeez, nice work, Billy!
We should listen more to our friend Billy Zane - he's a cool dude.
Skateboard brand Zoo York viral video hits the net [permalink]
I was chatting to The Advertising Guy earlier today and he told me about this new video they recently made for Zoo York skateboards which has just gone viral on the so-called "internet" (you'll remember The Advertising Guy featured recently on 2oceansvibe alongside Vanilla Ice).
They got a bunch of skaters and punks to spray paint the Zoo York logo on the back of thousands of cockroaches and let them loose all over Wall Street as they skated between the traffic and people. It's pretty sick.
Let's allow a moment to reflect on what Leo DiCaprio was tapping for a while - planet earth's highest paid model, Gisele Bündchen.
This time, in jeans.
Gisele
Special.
That's basically what you're looking for. I'm fine with her flowing hair. It will get a bit ruffled when we play fight with pillows, naked. But we'll brush the knots out later and spend the rest of the evening on the sofa, platting her hair and drinking champagne. We'll joke about different baby names. I'll push for Magnum if it's a boy.
I took the liebies of adding one more shot of our girl at the same shoot - just in case that wasn't enough.
Everybody knows that it is not often that one truly captures the sunset in a photograph. People who show holiday photos of sunset after sunset, do not realise that they mean pretty much fuckall to the person they're showing them to. It means the world to the guys who went on holiday.
Like this photo I took last night from The Safe House over Camps Bay.
ANOTHER sunset!
But the photo is not the point, you see. The point is that Capetonians constantly take photos where they live. They keep countless pictures of sunsets and everything else.
Incl. flights, accommodation and prime seats for two! [permalink]
Oh my God - this is too much to behold! Our friends at PlayEuroMillions have put together a competition for 2oceansvibe readers to win the trip of a lifetime to the jewel in the jewel in the crown of the annual sporting calender - the 2008 Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix.
And it's not just a trip - it's luxury all the way, baby! You'll be sipping champagne with the rich and famous - JUST like 2oceansvibe would want you to! The prize is pretty extensive, so let me break it down for you.
The Prize Monday 19th May - Arrival
Boscolo Palace - FINE!
Arrive in Nice on Monday 19th May and transfer to your hotel, the luxurious Boscolo Palace. When you enter the palatial white building on the Angels Bay you'll discover a resplendent world of refinement, exquisite taste and flawless service that will dazzle and seduce you. Our rooms are deluxe-rooms on the 5th floor, looking out over the ocean and palm trees. The rest of the week at your leisure to view this magnificent city.
The spacious rooms are decorated in sun-kissed shades of pale yellow, creamy-white and pastels with an authentic French flavour. You can relax in comfort, enjoy a movie or satellite TV, or access the internet through your in -room connection.
Friday 23rd May - Celebrity Dinner
Chill with David Coulthard at Hotel de Paris
On Friday evening our guests will congregate on the Churchill Terrace at Monaco"s exclusive Hotel de Paris for a drinks reception with David Coulthard and Allan McNish. The terrace overlooks the harbour and will offer the guests the opportunity to chat to the drivers, gleaning exclusive insight into Formula 1 and the race weekend ahead.
After drinks, an exclusive dinner will be served outdoors on the 1st floor Garnier Terrace, overlooking the world renowned Casino Square. From this stunning vantage point you can take in this absolutely unique ambience. With the intrigued "public" milling amongst the rich and famous, this is an experience that will live with you forever.
Saturday 24th and Sunday 25th May - F1 Monaco Grand Prix
Monte Carlo - Sexual
On Saturday and Sunday the racing will be viewed from our exclusive outdoor terrace at Le Saint Benoit restaurant. With stunning views over the harbour to Rascasse, the cars race beneath the terrace up from Saint Devote to Casino Square. Allan McNish, former F1 driver (Toyota and Renault) will provide a pre race briefing, highlighting what to look out for and sharing invaluable insight into the Monte Carlo street circuit.
With only a 5 minute walk to Casino Square, plasma screens throughout, private tables, one of the finest lunch menus in town, full and complimentary bar and a quite stunning ambience, there really is nowhere better to base yourself for this exhilarating weekend.
It's a bit ridiculous, isn't it? And the best thing about it is you can get as many entries as you want! I've already organised five entries for myself. Opportunities like this can't be missed!
Karim Rashid has done another STUNNING collaboration with Veuve, in the form of the Veuve Globalight!
The Veuve Globalight. Give it to me.
I know! Have you ever wanted anything more? God, it's too beautiful for this world - I want it inside me. According to LuxuryLaunches:
"The limited edition champagne holder (only 500 pieces created) features pure and sensual lines. This is the second collaboration between Veuve and Karim following the "Loveseat" last year. The Globalight is a multi-functional holder; a portable cooler with a soft halo of light (keeping the champagne at ideal temperature for 2 hours) and a decorative design piece on its own."
Oh my God they only made 500! There simply MUST be a 2oceansvibe reader out there who has managed to get hold of one as a gift for 2oceansvibe? Surely I should experience it for everyone? And, lasting 2 hours, it will be PERFECT for those Eskom power cuts! God, can you IMAGINE!
It will go so beautifully with the Veuve Loveseat I have in the den. Funnily enough I just found a picture of one of my bodyguards, Panda, making a toast one Christmas to an ex-girlfriend of mine.
Needless to say, Panda and Bianka ran off to the Maldives together..
I must say I wouldn't mind just chilling with my babe on the sofa, being served by a gorgeous little elf, serving us Champiz with the Veuve Globalight.
Not many girls have made such an impact to warrant a second look on Tuesday Tabs, but Eva Herzigova really does have something special. In fact I made up a saying that explains this quite well - it goes "one good turn deserves another." Not bad, hey? I made it up after seeing two supermodels in a row.
Click this pic to see Eva more clearly.
Eva rustles up some lunch at the French villa
I'm fine with that.
That's the kind of stuff you'll see in the kitchen at the villa in France. That's after she climbs out the back of the chauffeur driven S-Class which fetched us from the airport where we landed in one of the private jets I picked up from FUTURE EXOTICS in Cape Town.
Now THOSE guys have some nice toys!
They're the guys who brought you FutureFin. Remember them? They make it easier for you to buy Ferrari's and other supercars.
In a classic God against Satan reality clash [permalink]
It has all the makings of a great biblical clash! Like that time in Jericho when Moses fed doves to all those people on Noah's yacht and everyone was smoking olive branches and Noah parted the sea and Kelly Slater surfed passed on a crucifix. Remember? It was hectique! Judas was inside LYING to everyone as usual. Cocks were crowing - fuck it was mayhem!
I've clearly been in another world for the last week because it looks like good is attempting to overcome evil again, in the form of Katie Holmes (God) going for a separation vibe from Tom Cruise (Satan). Ja, like that'll happen. You'll find it tricky to get away from Tom after he removes your spleen with his mind. Check out this vibe in one of trash media's most respected tabloids, Star Magazine.
Don't cry mommy? Come on, guys.
Christ, they must have sold a fuck load of that issue. Even chicks who REFUSE to buy tabloid mags wouldn't be able to resist a pic of an adorable lonely-looking semi-brainwashed child, with the words "don't cry mommy" next to it. Come on, guys - you PUSHED it there!
Shame, I knew this would happen. You might remember three years back when they were first getting together. We did our bit. That was before it turned into a clusterfuck. I wouldn't mind taking Katie for round two, mind. That's what a lot of the guys are saying these days. Let them learn... there's less of a rush the second time around. Although, with Katie, you never know. It could VERY easily be a carefully crafted plan of Tom's to get into my mind and enable him (Tom) to get into your minds via 2oceansvibe and take over your soul. We can't let that happen. That is why, right now, I am giving you my solemn vow never to pump Katie Holmes. That is how much I love you. Right there. FACT.
You'll enjoy this very recent interview with Jason Beghe, the actor from CSI, Everwood and Numb3rs, who has recently escaped the grips of Scientology. He was one of its highest ranking members and one day he realised what was going on and he got the fuck out. Check out this STUNNING video where he basically tears the religion apart, limb by limb.
I always wondered how Richard Quest was able to stay so vibrant and bubbly and energetic for so long. Finally, everything becomes quite clear.
Richard Quest - in the dwang
Cops arrested our boy in Central Park this week, after noticing him wandering around at 03h40 in the morning (the park has a 1am curfew). But that's not my favourite part of the story.
The police noticed Mr. Quest at 64th Street and West Drive at about 3:40 a.m., the official said. As he was being escorted out, he volunteered, “I have meth in my pocket,” according to an official briefed on the case. The police searched him and recovered a small amount of methamphetamine in a Ziploc bag.
Thank God he is not a full time criminal. He certainly wouldn't last very long. Telling the cops about illegal things you're doing will almost always stunt your criminal career.
So he enjoys a bit of Meth. I see. That makes sense. I read on the internet that it causes "euphoria and excitement" - that's pretty much spot on when it comes to Richard Quest.
For those of you who don't know, methamphetamine is pretty much the same thing as our local drug of choice on the Cape Flats - TIK. The only difference is TIK makes you want to rape people and blow their heads off.
As we experience a very rare TRIPLE ROLLOVER! [permalink]
The guys at PlayEuroMillions are doing it again and I tell you what, it plays with my mind. That is nearly a BILLION Rand! There is only one way to handle this kind of temptation - spread the risk, people!
It's the only option - NOT ENTERING is NOT an option.
Every week The Johannesburg Attaché and I buy 5 tickets each and we agree, before the draw, to split any winnings between the two of us. We also make sure that we have each other's number BEFORE the draw! Not that I'll be able to keep a straight face landing in my private jet and pretending that business is going really well!
Last week when they had the double rollover, we bought 5 tickets each. Although we didn't win much, our winnings (you usually win a little bit - here and there) were enough to convert into 10 new tickets for today's TRIPLE ROLLOVER jackpot. You see, the guys at PlayEuroMillions have a system that let's you convert your winnings into new lottery tickets, at a greatly reduced price. So you can buy nearly twice as many tickets for the same price! It's a good vibe.
So now we're in with a chance again. Seven hundred meelion Rand! What would you do with that?
"I wouldn't change much. I'd pay off the bond on my house and send my mom on an overseas trip and set her up for retirement."
Two words : BULL SHIT.
You're lying. You've got $89 million. Only a FOOL wouldn't buy this little puppy here for $59 million. God, EVERYONE will LOVE YOU!
The Personal Jukebox, Sox, was out and about the other day and parked in one of those parking spots on Somerset Road, below Tafelberg furnitures. When he came back to his car, this is what he found.
Hello! What's this?
As you will notice, the blue Jeep had parked our boy in. Quite rudely, I might add. Sox approached the car and noticed something on the windscreen. "What's this," Sox thought to himself.
"Look for me @ Tafelberg Furniture.
- Jeep"
Jesus! Can you believe it? She leaves a note telling him to go and FIND her! It's amazing! And then she signs off "Jeep," like you can tell which people in a shop drive Jeeps.
Incredible! I SINCERELY hope the chick was hot. If she was, then it's excusable. If she wasn't, then I hope Sox punched her in the face.
In other traffic news, Andrew E sent in this in from Jo'burg. It seems a crane bit off more than it could chew. Come on, guys, it'll be a basic maths equation to work out if the crane can pick something up or not. It's crane science - not rocket science.
You've heard about the South African Chief of Police, Jackie Selebi's Hummer. You wondered if the rumours were true and what the car looked like. It couldn't be true, you thought. It's too over the top.
I doubt you ever imagined it would be THIS over the top.
Note POLICE branding on the side, as well as badges.
You'll find this is probably Jackie's Hummer.
Come now.
thanks Barn Dog
Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com [permalink]
17 April , 2008
"THE KITESURFER" ON TODAY'S SHOW
A MASSIVE moment in the history of the world [permalink]
Regular readers will know quite a lot about The Kitesurfer and would have followed his every move through these pages over the last few years and, most recently, his move into the now famed Camps Bay Castle. The emails and requests to have this giant of a man on The 2oceansvibe Show have now become too much and I must submit to you. Marcus Brain (The Kitesurfer) has agreed to join us today where we will discuss everything from kite surfing and car restoration (Marcus, at one stage, single handedly restored an MG), to relationships, vintage Vespa's and family values. NOT TO BE MISSED!!
Marcus Brain
"The Kitesurfer"
Send in your questions about anything for today's LIVE online 2oceansvibe Radio Show, and I guarantee you The Kitesurfer with tackle it with glee, using his own special brand of pride and pomp.
