The Editor speaks..

Decided to put the newsletter on this page for now until I get my laptop back with the full newsletter subscriber list.

Your editor, Seth Rotherham, has been invited by the FIA to visit this year's Melbourne Australian Formula One Grand Prix. So... as they say in the classics....greetings from Melbourne!!

As we countdown to the GP I must give a high five to Fleetwood Mac who gave a live concert last night in Melbourne. I can report that Stevie Nick's voice has not changed one little bit. Top class stuff from a would-be tired band. Apart from apparent Botox use there was nothing spicey to report regarding the aging process. The night was capped with 'You can go your own way' which is what everyone would have wanted to end with. A deranged late 50's aged woman was escorted to jail in a drunken frenzy after getting caught up in the music and running on stage to hug Stevie. Could just picture her in the jail cell, not aware where she is, humming 'Tell me lies'. Your kids must be proud!

For you surfer junkies out there, I went through to a town called Torquay the other day and shopped at a place called 'Surf City'. This is where the kids who thought up Quiksilver, Billabong and the like first launched their surf brands. They surfed all day in those days and apparently do the same now. The only difference is they use a helicopter these days to find decent surf. We did an hour long plane flight over the 12 apostles which was mind blowing. What was all the more mind blowing was the little town of Geelong (pronounced 'ja' - 'long') which was straight out of the movie 'The Castle'. I looked in vain for Dale Kerrigan but did spot a couple of homes with 4 tow trucks parked ('pah'ked) in the yard. Mullet haircuts were obviously a must. I snapped a shot of a beauty for the website!

Back to www.2oceansvibe.com, we haven't had a chance yet to give a big welcome to Bob Skinstad who has become our first weekly/bi weekly columnist on the site ever. We cannot give an exact amount, but can report that Skinstad is paying 2oceansvibe.com a five figure sum for the honour. Writing from his new home in Wales, Bob has already written his first article on the website which has received rave reviews.

"You f*cking little beauty' - GQ, Australia.

On that note I can announce that his second column is now live on the site. Read about his thoughts on the new coach as well as some other inside info and mealtime tips. The reason his latest column has taken so long to go live on the site is the fact that my laptop decided not to turn on upon arrival in Oz - apologies. It has taken a week for Sony Japan to sponsor me this laptop I'm using now in return for a mention. Thanks guys.

Speaking of which I would probably get in trouble if I didn't mention www.rugby365.com (Cape Town based rugby website company who are very accepting of bald people) in appreciation for their front page mention of 2oceansvibe.com .

www.rugby365.com is the only place to go when it comes to up to date rugby news, reviews and spice. Their expert, world class journalists include former Pulitzer prize winner, Howie Kahn. Celebrity Director, John Dobson, can be spotted at Forries when he's not in the gym or accepting another lifetime achievement award.

On the subject of rugby, well done to Jake White on his appointment as national coach. So far we are very impressed as there are no signs of corruption in the first week. We don't know much about you, Jake, apart from the fact that you landed the starring role in Batman. That was you, wasn't it?

Michael Keaton as Bok coach	Jake White as Batman

A big congratulations to Johann on his new job! It just proves that with hard work, countless rejections, extreme heartbreak and near-suicide, a white mid-20's male can get a job in Cape Town! Good Boy!

mmm

So here we are again the end of yet another newsletter. As usual, welcome to the new newsletter subscribers. I see the word is starting to get around the Expressair offices as a few more staff have subscribed. Welcome kids, take a load off, whoever you are. After some investigation I can report that "Express Air Services is a cargo sales agent for various international airlines". So if anyone is into that vibe, check out www.expressair.co.za.

That's enough now.

G'day mate !

Seth Rotherham
Editor & Pin-up
2oceansvibe.com
Half a million hits for Feb 2004 - wierd

Barry 'Rothers' Rotherham writes from London

Diving straight into it, I have always had a gripe with those fast moving types from Joburg bashing Capetonians because they are so 'relaxed' .... What is wrong with being relaxed, for God's sake ...? Hell, I have lived in Jo'burg and I remained 'relaxed'. Who says relaxed people can't be successful?

They think it's the way we live. Methinks its the way we are. There are fine minds out there trapped in every sphere. It doesn't matter what part of South Africa you are from . We are very segregarious in that way and would rather have something good come from our nook or cranny. We have some of the best creative potential of any country ...just look at the numbers of awards (advertising etc.) we are responsible for ...and they don't all come from Shweeburg. Quite the opposite in fact. There are a few specialist agencies in the mother city that are setting the world alight ..but I digress. What I am getting at is you don't have to look busy to be busy. Shouldn't we be celebrated for being successful without huffing and puffing and pretending to be 'hecticly' busy whilst the daily thunderstorm approaches at 3pm. Don't hate us Shweeburgers!

Work at seven, no lunch, gym at five, work drinks, out for supper, late one, work at seven and so on becomes habitual. And it certainly doesn't make a good person of you. You are giving up your valuable extra time so that you look busy... that's all. Working in London shows the best of the best when it comes to trying to look busy. The 9 to 5 crowd of Londoners (locals) are con-artists who spend most of their day fearing being fired. They can't help but carry on about how busy they are. Its so transparent and embarrasing. Whats the point? How many times I have overheard a colleague ask another to join her to the shops at lunch time. The response is generally a very loud, very clear, "Oh God no! I'VE GOT WAY TOO MUCH WORK". To be quite honest I take great pride in hiding how much work I have and acting the calm role. Its so much less stressful. And less emwoerrising.

There are people out there that make work work. One of them is a well known Italian, Alessandro Alessi (heard the name? Thought so... ). He transformed his family run, ho-hum housewares business into a trendsetting design giant. His secret? Walking the fine line between genius and failure..

I like that...... revel in your glorious failures, dance on the borderline between success and disaster, because that is where your next breakthrough will come from.

Brave strong words those from an Italian. Funny, I thought they were the lazy, chilled out ones. Remind you of a certain city in South Africa? Florence is in Italy. But you knew that. I am sure you also know that Florence is well known for its fine art and architecture and has been considered the birthplace of the Renaissance. The surge in the artistic, literary and scientific investigation came about because of the people's preoccupation with money and their need to enjoy both wealth and leisure... So basically the nerve centre of the cultural revolutions had the same attitude to life as you find in Cape Town today ...

Hmmm let me think...... maybe I could buy a little two bedroom spot in Randburg or even open up an art studio? Is art really the measure though? Am I an artist or is it the guy with the paintbrush? Are you? Maybe art is only defined by what interests the audience at the time? Art doesn't have to be solely for aesthetic purposes. I am aware that some people find architecture to be a truer art. Even computer programming is creating something, only using a different medium.

Maybe John Edwards is an artist, does that make the people his canvas or his brush? I think John Edwards would live in Shweeburg, so you know what that means ...... he isn't allowed to be an artist.

Because J'burg is all about work and nothing about flat mountains and golden sea shores, work has to be emphasised. Its the only thing to compare against the Capetonians. What other competition can there be? The Vaal dam's shores are better than Camps Bay? And that's what happens, work is the main topic most of the time.

Anyway Shweeburgers, carry on... slag us off. We don't get anything done anyway. Amazing how the tourism industry in CT is one the fastest growing in the world.

A f*ck load seems to be done by these lazy people who don't work. How do they do it?

God knows.

Roll another joint please.

To revive a flagging career..

thanks mike

From the depths of Wales comes the Welsh Rare-Bob

	From a perch on a lake somewhere in Wales lives the Welsh Rare-Bob. Bob Skinstad starts his weekly / bi-weekly column on life on the other side. We have translated his column into English. The original Gaelic version is available on request.
	CLICK HERE FOR THE COLUMN

You're covered !

The editor's brother working in the UK had this to say

Just a few thoughts from a man who is tremendously frustrated with the state of our game , and more for that matter.

Ayn Rand wrote a few books about objectivism , the total and relentless pursuit of perfection and the unwavering commitment needed to manage this . Outlining the different kind of characters and non-characters that make up most communities, (read all) time is a great healer for those who bumble along their preferred course. They forget what they once aspired to and why they began and this releases them from worry and the trouble of personal fulfillment. They start to settle for second best, once, then the slide begins. And once it starts it is like an avalanche, uncontainable. Loads of ordinaries, not many others.

I haven't read all of it and certainly don't claim to have anything more than a gentle understanding of it, but I can certainly say the clarity it has given me in the understanding of people is alarming....and refreshing. Alarming because it exposes how mant idiots there are out there and how many people (the gross majority) do not know anything other than a reflexive hand to mouth type of survival. All around us everywhere, Mr and Mrs Grey are living, breathing, getting away with doing as little as possible to exist...pathetically at that. Refreshing for close to the same reasons , I thought I was aspiring to too much, was I wrong to expect people to be trustworthy and have a sense of obligation to self ...?

Now, rather excitingly, and according to a world seen with fresh eyes it seems not. Don't be nice ,don't try and be my friend, just fulfill your role ,grow your own veg, do your fucking job. How many relentlessly self promoting bigots have we got in positions of power in South Africa?

"it's not what you know its who you know " Shut up , its what you do, and how well you do it , if you can't run the sport then get out of administration ....you all know who you are and why you are there, because you don't have enough of your own character to stand alone in a crowded room and not talk to anyone

...you need people pissing in your pocket 'cos you pay their salary ...trying to entertain you 'cos they want you to keep doing it ...you are just as bad as they are . Worse even, because you won't admit that you actually don't know what you are doing but a friend gave you a promotion years ago and you realised that the way to the top was with a bucket of grease ,(for palms, not elbows), and to watch your own tail.

You miserable, lifeless cowards are the rot that is setting up a once proud sporting nation to be the laughing stock of the world ...If you can live with that, then stay, if not, give the job to the people who deserve it. The ones who make the fans go to games, the people who love what rugby is...and retire into the grey cloud of ineptness from which you rose, because, as we have made clear, there will be a place for you somewhere, it is just not here .

Barry 'Rothers' Rotherham
UK

2oceansvibe Reader Response:

I've just read the rugby article by Barry Rotherham and can`t agree more.What bothers me is that nothing is being done about it by anyone. Tonight Brian van Rooyen will be on Boots & All to explain what`s going on but I doubt if anyone will have the guts to stand up and tell him how we as loyal rugby supporters feel and how we disagree with what he is doing.What is the use of having a constitution if you are going to change it anyway to suit your personal agenda.Rugby should be run by those who love the game and will do anything to better it.Not some idiot who is in it for personal gain.What pisses me off is that I am a die hard Bok supporter but I don`t have a say in anything that goes on as long as I buy the tickets and shut up.I`m sick and tired of this shit.

IOL did exceptionally well to publish this beauty

Penis size scrutinised at Jali commission
February 05 2004 at 02:18PM

Penis size came under scrutiny on Thursday when the Jali Commission of Inquiry into prison maladministration probed claims by a former inmate that he was forced to perform oral sex on a warder through a window.

Joe Mokwana, for the accused warder Thokozane Nxumalo, told the commission it would have been an impossible feat for his client to get his penis through that particular window.

The narrow window started chest height off the ground, had a vertical bar in the middle, and the wall in which it was mounted was thicker than the organ was long.

"It would have been impossible," Mokwana told the commission.

This prompted evidence leader Graham Barlow to point out that "the male penis can go through a very small gap".

source: IOL

Hasn't changed for well over a year. Class

thanks dave

How to spoke whiff an Afrikaans accent

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More than just paddling

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Good work everybody

Thanks for a good evening, kids! Everything seems to have been covered last night, laughing, crying, dancing, shouting, whispering... a good session. And yes..... there are pics. 125 pics to be exact. So without wasting another second of your time...

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