Apparently it's not an eating disorder

According to this taboid.... Please enjoy their text layout. 'It's not anorexia.... ITS DRUGS !!!!!!'.

CLICK HERE FOR SPICEY STORY

But it amuses nonetheless

Courtesy of DaimlerChrysler

Look what the nice people at DaimlerChrysler made for our very own Eugene Terreblanche !

Has its drawbacks

The world turned on Dave

thanks dave

Only with 2oceansvibe.com

In case you missed this month's Marie Claire, it featured local socialite Brett Hamilton (page 123, if you missed it).

So we're offering it to you, the treasured 2oceansvibe readers, the chance to go on a date with BRETT HAMILTON !!! The winner will be the person who tells us the best reason why they should go on a date with Brett. What would Brett like about you? And what would be so cool about your date?

Let's see how well you know Brett Hamilton !

Click 'Contact 2oceans' on the left menu and send us your messages. The winner will be chosen on the 30th of June and announced the following Monday. So get cracking!

Here are some shots from Marie Claire if you missed it.

Brett looking stylish and ready for action !

Here we see Brett just goofin' around!

So, once again, click 'Contact 2oceans' on the left menu and send us your messages. The winner will be chosen on the 30th of June and announced the following Monday. So get cracking!

Of losing your brood down a drain

Not the playa

From 'Popbitch'

What do you call a Fat Goth?

Vampire the Buffet Slayer.

To keep its name

It has been decided that the Austrian town, Fucking, will be keeping its name. Yes, this is 100% true. For more of the story and a picture of the roadsign (where they blurred the 'uck' part of the pic - emwoerrising) can be found if you CLICK HERE

SIMPLY, a BETTER, FUCKING

It's too much for my little head to contain and I must say a few words about Standard Bank/Wank.

I was at Standard Bank many moons ago when I was a student and left them when I was let down some or other way. I had a business account opened on my behalf at the Sea Point branch in February for something I was doing. Anyway, after getting great service from NEDBANK, I decided not to go that route and to open the account at NEDBANK instead. During this changeover time a fair amount of money had been deposited into the Standard Wank account in Sea Point. I needed to get it out to pay people and I needed to do it ASAP.

So I cruised in and was told that I couldn't transfer any money from the account, nor could I get a cheque book which could do the same thing. Why? I asked. No, look, it seems the original mandate which was filled in to create the account was fucked up by the business manager of the branch at the time WHO IS NO LONGER THERE !!!

'What needs to be done' I asked, slightly irate.

'We will sort it out and call you', I was told by a gentleman by the name of 'Ofie' (that's how you say it, I don't know how you spell it).

I had no call the next day and went into the branch.

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS NEXT PART
IT'S MORE SHOCKING THAN THE IRAQ BEHEADING VIDEO

"Hi guys, I'm here to see Ofie..." I quipped.

"Sorry, Sir.... Ofie is on holiday"

Are you fucking kidding me?

As I began the step by step process of selecting which toys to throw out of my cot I was told someone is in his place.

I chatted to this lady WHO KNEW NOTHING OF MY HASSLE AND ADMITTED OFIE HAD NOT HANDED OVER THIS PARTICULAR MATTER!

Shame, our little Ofie had to be called on his cell on his holiday to update them on the matter.

I won't drag this on but it seems the only way to get the money is for all sorts of documents to be sent all over the world for various Directors of the account to sign, by which time they would have probably returned to Cape Town.

Enter Sithonga.

Sithonga is the Manager of ALL business accounts. The girl who replaced Ofie told me Sithonga was coming in yesterday morning to sort things out with her and he will call me by the end of the day.

Needless to say I was not phoned. Hence this article.

I will keep you updated but in the meantime DON'T believe the adverts. They are, in fact, More Difficult, Worse, Slower.

One stop shop

Great news everyone, we have finally updated our video section and you can now download one or all of our videos we have ever featured from one page - rather than trawling through the archives to find that special download.

INCLUDING BOTH PARIS HILTON VIDEOS !

YOU LITTLE PERVERTS !

Off you go then!!
TO THE PHOTO/VIDEO SECTION
CLICK HERE

Lunatics welcome

We popped into the Brass Bell last week Wednesday for Jonty Fisher's birthday and got so much more for our money. A completely pissed individual decided to entertain us for a good 5 minutes.

There was a guy putting down hand crafted pieces of wood on the empty tables which he obviously sells there from time to time. From salad bowls to canes to shields etc. you can imagine. Anyway this pissed oke started playing with all the various artifacts. Thoroughly entertaining and here's a little clip from the fiasco.

Brass Bell was, but the way, fantastic. Unbelievable sunset (again, this winter is really hard on the eyes) and great service from our Usher look-a-like waiter.

CLICK HERE FOR BRASS BELL LUNATIC (1.8Mb)

The story so far

This article will bring every last die hard Paris Hilton fan/hater/perv 100% up to date with everything to do with her career and in particular the porn tape. What is happening with the marketing of it? Who is suing who? Is it real? etc. etc. etc.

So..... read the whole thing (helluva long) and you will be at the forefront when it comes to Hilton conversations with your mates.

GENIEDIIIIT !!!

CLICK HERE FOR HELLUVA LONG ARTICLE

Nelson helps Bill through Lewinsky skandaal

Click for the article in the gaurdian of how Madiba advised Clinton through his media whiplashing of his affair with monica - CLICK HERE

Who are you?

We've recently moved into new offices on the stunning Atlantic Seaboard with views that go on for ever. We moved the fridge around the office canteen last week and unearthed a picture left by a previous tenant. We decided it had to be shown....

Previous tenant - glowing with pride

Identify yourself

Finger ever on the pulse, Mike Maytham, has identified our e-TV voice-over guy. His name is.....

Bongani Njoli

Well, BONGANI, you can consider yourself a member of the 2oceansvibe hall of fame. And to remind everyone who Bongani is, simply:

Download sound clip HERE

A round of applause for this ad

D&G Sunglasses did exceptionally well with this ad. Download it and GENIEDIIIIIT !!!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD (0.8Mb)
(Right click and 'Save As')

Cash back from the government

We have received a large number of emails from people wanting to know more about the link on the right of the page to www.governmentgrants.co.za

Just to assure you they are 100% legit and we have done work with them before. I have asked them for some literature on the different grants so that you, my priviledged readers, can download them and read over them at your leisure.

The company handling the grants have had a 100% strike rate and deal with some big players in the various industries. These grants afford the applicant between 20%-30% cash back from the government.

These grants won't be in place forever so if you know what you're doing you'll get into it quickly.

www.governmentgrants.co.za know exactly how to ensure you actually get the grant. That is the service they provide and you only have to pay them if the application is successful.

Sounds ok to me!

Anyway, download these to get more info:

Manufacturing Grants

Tourism Grants

Or go straight to the website using the link in the first paragraph.

A true understanding of skateboarding

I wouldn't normally post a video clip of a dog skateboarding because it's normally crap. It's normally something you would find on America's funniest home videos. Something like a dog placed on a skateboard by the owner and pushed down a hill. Or something as crap as the AMAZING dog which rides on a motorbike with its owner!!!! Whatever America - that bores us.

But, my furry little readers, this video is very very different. I was mind blown when I saw it. I'm talking about a dog with a TOTAL 100% understanding of the concept of skateboarding. Download this effing clip right now and ......

GENIEDIIIIIIT !!!!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD (0.8Mb)
(Right click and 'Save As')

The funniest guy on TV?

Locals must all be aware of the e-TV programme line-up announcer. He says things like "Guilllllllt drove heeem awaaaay...... luuuuurve brought heeem beck....tonight's thrillah........ only on eeeeeeee".

Anyway we're going to take him a little more seriously and try to catch his most amusing moments. Just to get started, we got this recording of his Lethal Weapon 4 announcement - just to remind you of who he is. Don't be angry with him.... don't find him annoying.... just enjoy him....he is quality entertainment.

Download sound clip HERE

Ben Affleck joins ball scratching trend

Becks scratches his balls just for you! Geniediiiiiit !

Download this now!

This will eaither blow your mind or change your life. Or both. Watch it a couple of times. Amaze your friends! And to think it is just a woman folding a t-shirt. wait fot it.....

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD (1.9Mb)
(Right click and 'Save As')

thanks mark

Funny

Eclipse

DSTV HAS SOME TREATS FOR US

Don't expect it to be a regular thing, but here's tonight TV line-up - 2oceansvibe stylie. Sorry friends in England......sure you'll be fine. You can spend the evening watching the live exchange rate on the financial markets channel.

To begin with, we've all seen the ads for Fashion TV in the morning but we've never remembered to actually turn it on. DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR AND TURN ON CHANNEL 72 IN THE MORNING BEFORE WORK - IT'S MENTAL !!!! I cannot stress it enough! The drive to work is a pleasure after the little treat.

ok......

17h05 - 68 History
The men who killed Kennedy
A look into who was involved in the killing of JFK. Pretty interesting stuff if you're into it.

18h00 - 66 National Geographic
Civilisation
Quite spicey! Inform yourself on the ongoing's of the Inca civilisation in the 16th century where all hot chicks were placed on an island in a 'nunnery' where it was an honour to be sacrificed. Nice Vibe! They should do it in Cape Town, with the mingers.

19h45 - 68 History
Biography Malcolm X
I think the title says it all.

20h00 - 49 eTV
Lethal Weapon 4
Everyone's favourite programme announcer mentioned this yesterday. "Mel Gibsoooon...... Danny gluvaaaah.... Lethal Weapohn foooooh....only on eeeeeeeeee!"

21h00 - 86 VH1
Rise and rise of Anna Kournikova
Seriously, how very lucky are we? An hour of Kournikova! HATING! On VH1 - wierd! You won't believe what is on VH1 after this!

21h30 - 50 BBC
Click Online
If you're even vaguely interested in techy, webby type things, this is a very well put together programme. Maybe the jocks out there should stop for a second and watch before you fall completely behind.

22h00 - 86 VH1
Rise and Rise of Enrique Iglesias
How spicey are VH1??!! Putting this directly after Anna Kournikova! Anyway.... one for the boys, one for the girls.

22h00 - 40 BBC Prime
V Graham Norton
Amusing, camp, English guy interviews celebs. Quite amusing. My strawberry blonde housemate swears by him......obviously.

22h00 - 84 Go
Boarding House
Like whoa maaan. It's like a reality TV like show maan. With real surfers in like a beach house maaan. Mondo braah !
Like enter the zone maaan. Like drop in maan..... ok enough.

23h16 - 3 MNET
Taxi Driver
If you're still awake you shouldn't miss this Bob de Niro classic.

sleep tight my adorable little readers..... xxx

Bobojantjes

Weren't people fired for saying that once?

thanks charlie

From the pro's at 2oceansvibe

If you haven't tried it yet you need to do yourself a favour and get the Chicken Ceasar salad from Woolworths. Do it at lunch time today. Trust me. It's not like a restaurant ceasar salad and certainly does not have anchovies. Buy it today and you will be rewarded. The dressing should be illegal.

Join at 16h00 Saturday

It is known that it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman naked other than his wife, and that he must commit suicide if he does.

So, this Saturday at 16h00, all women living in South Africa are asked to walk out of their houses, completely naked, to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they are not Taliban, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wives and to show support for all South African women.

And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack of Castle at your side would be a further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

The South African Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God Bless South Africa!

Tim Henman - The People's Loser

One of the joys of getting SKY News (besides from being able to view live footage of English Football Yobbos preparing for Euro 2004) is the exposure we get of 'COME ON TIM' fever! I used to think it was reserved for Wimbledon but it looks like we get it throughout the year! And what fun it is to watch!

It is virtually every sportsman's hidden superstition that his performance can be 'jinxed'. Particularly through something verbal. The dictionary definition explains the word as 'bad luck, or a person or thing that is believed to bring bad luck. My trusty Microsoft Word thesaurus gives 'curse' and 'gremlin' as alternatives. 'Gremlin' did not give Bishop Tutu's name.

Supporters of various sportspeople and sports teams would never dream of uttering words like "God, I hope De Wet Barry doesn't get injured". It just wouldn't make sense to risk such magical mystery.

Then you get the British Public who, fully aware of the potential power of 'jinxing', manage to give Tim Henman more exposure before an event than any other individual in the world. Not that other nations don't support their players - it's just the way the press over there handle it.

Living in London for just under three years allowed my digs mates and I to witness it first hand every year Wimbledon came around.

"COME ON TIM ! YOU CAN DO IT"

.......would not seem out of place in the slightest. They never go for 'Good luck, Tim' or 'Do your best'. It always seems to be in the form of a whine and the annual question..... 'Is this Tim's year?'

They were having discussions yesterday on Sky about exactly that -'Is this Timiny's year'! What they are referring to is obviously the winning of something big. I browsed over Timiny's website which produces some very dull stats. He won the Paris Masters last year, but really, it's not Wimbledon, its not the US Open, it's not the French Open, it's not the Ozzie Open, its not Stella Artois!

He has won three singles titles since October 2001 - The Adelaide International Series (Jan '02), The Washington International Series (Aug '03) and the Paris Masters (Nov '03).

I notice on Sky News that they are now whining before every event. This time the Stella Artois Championships. Yesterday they had Tim interviewed with the hopes of a nation clearly on his shoulders (once again). Needless to say he was knocked out of the second round! I nearly fell over this morning when I turned on the news. Please do yourself a favour and get the Daily Telegraph today. God, the pain of seeing another full front page pic of Tim dealing with the letting down of a nation.

I wouldn't be surprised if they hit him with 'WAIT FOR WIMBLEDON TIMINY - YOU CAN DO IT !!!' tomorrow.

Needless to say, I think the poms need to do everyone a favour and back off a bit. The guy must be wearing hair dye because you have to be completely grey to deal with the kind of expectations and let downs he does.

It would probably help if Timiny was less of a nerd, mind.

I don't know if I will be able to cope with him actually managing to win Wimbledon so I'll get it started.......

GO TIM !!

WIMBLEDONS YOURS FOR THE TAKING

YOU CAN DO IT

BREAKTHROUGH

Seth Rotherham has a new toy which enables him to upload new pics to the website from ANYWHERE !!! Jeez thats just mental!!!

So remember the link in the left menu (in stunning purple background) which will open a new with the..........

......drum roll....................

PIC OF THE MOMENT !!!!!

Ring any bells ?

My mum sent these to me.
Highly amusing!

Loads of fun

Why Patrick Smith thought this pic was too explicit to put on the site, I don't know. Here's to EURO 2004 ! Enjoy it firewalls!

Breath deeply

Sorry to do this people but we thought we would add insult to injury. Just to follow up on the article beneath this...... the one with the orgasmic sunset in Kalk Bay, Cape Town......... we would like to report from iol.co.za that living in London can reduce your life expectancy by 10 years.

"According to experts' estimates, London's pollution causes roughly 1 600 premature deaths and about 1 500 hospitalisations each year."

Read more HERE

Don't get upset, think of all those Pounds you're making and those cheap flights to Ibiza and those fifteen minute sessions at the tanning shop. Think of the joy of arriving at a tube stop and it's undercover from the rain. And the relief you feel inside as you manage to squeeze into the 07h30 train whilst only losing your penis to the closing doors as you squash against the armpits of a suicide bomber. aaah.... bliss. Pounds .... think of the Pounds.

Seriously though, after four years you'll really be the winner because you'll get an English passport if you don't already have one. From there you'll be able to support the English rugby team. Some might say that that alone makes it worth it.

Don't get upset now. We're only teasing. Check it out though - interesting article.....

Polana in Kalk Bay

A big high five to the people of Polana restaurant in Kalk Bay. Having been there a few times before it is now a certainty that it cannot be beat when it comes to Sunday nights. It's in the Kalk Bay harbour (was scolded by a reader when I said near the brass bell...... it was a long day!)

The roaring fire, the picture perfect sunset (whatever the weather) and a couple glasses o' red are the order of the night as you learn to forget about Monday. Polanas, you have a great vibe going - keep it up and keep that fire cranked! Mary, Dean and librarian girl made for interesting conversation too. Ta !

Here's a little pic from last night. Very cuck!

Wow

Well I went with two friends to watch the movie 'Win a date with Tad Hamilton'. It was raining... we were slightly late and it was the only thing left to watch. There was the added excuse that it couldn't be that bad watching the blonde girl from Blue Crush for an hour and a half.

This movie is going to cause a couple of dramas in a lot of people's lives. This was proven to us a mere five hours later on MTV - I'll get to that.

So you can imagine the plot.... The hottest movie star at the time is a guy called Tad Hamilton. His suits are amazing. His tan rocks and he has every sports car known to man. His agent and manager feel he's losing control and needs to tone it down a but so they launched a competition. Yes, you know what it's called. Obviously the chick from Blue Crush wins the compo and after the dinner part of the date she decides to go home instead of moving on to his house. What a good, wholesome girl! Obviously he wants more so he flies back to her one horse town and schmoozes her. AT THE SAME TIME, there is a geek who is the manager of Piggly Wiggly's (local supermarket) who is ALSO IN LOVE WITH HER. So obvioulsy we can work out the rest of the story.

This is where I start to panic for the boys out there. The emboerrising manager eventually manages to spill his heart out to her as she's about to move to L.A. with Tad. On the plane, Tad admits to her that he didn't actually know her that well. He continues to inform her that the manager had threatened him and that he also believes the manager is the one for her.

SHE FLIES BACK TO THE ONE HORSE TOWN AND HOOKS UP THE EMWOERRISING GUY !!!!!!

My problem is that in real life our little angel would be straddling Tad in the back of the learjet, listening to 50 dent, pouring Dom down her breasts. Our little manager would never see her again in his life. She would have Tad's lovechild so he will never leave her (heard a new American word on Jerry Springer for a lovechild..... wait for it........ it's a 'keep-a-nigga-baby'. You do it to keep the guy!!! a keep-a-nigga-baby!!! AMAZING!!!) and that she'll never have to work again.

Don't do it guys!!! If you're up against Tad Hamilton just leave it! You'll punish yourself!!!

Enter MTV.

We get home and tune in the stunning new LG Flatron TV to MTV. There is a programme called 'Make me look like someone famous'. We thought it was a spoof until we saw these two guys (twins with terrible acne and oddly placed facial features) actually go under the knife. Yes, that's right! We actually couldn't believe it was hapenning. Their choice of famous person was Brad Pitt.

Anyway, the reason they went for the surgery is chicks never liked their vibe that much. This is when I realised that our boys had obviously watched the Tad Hamilton movie. The one guy even did the whole heart on his sleeve vibe to some chick he had known for a long time. SHE TOLD HIM TO LEAVE IT!!!! LEEEEEEAVE IT BUDDY!!!!!! My heart broke!............... Well that was that, they booked themselves in at a local plastic surgeon and got new teeth, cheekbones, chins, noses and self-esteem.

Needless to say the chick still axed him after the operation because now he was a wierd freak-boy who had changed his face. They did a fairly good job and got new haircuts too. The problem is they run around telling everyone which is too much of a freak out. They should just get on with it.... like Oprah (Jesus).

So that's why I reckon the Tad Hamilton movie is destructive. It makes the guys out there believe that they should run around pouring their heart out to every girl they know. God..... the carnage! Don't believe all the love songs guys. Be careful out there - you'll punish yourself.

We left the movie and had a stroll around Cavendish. My friends agreed with me that the clothing paraded around Cavendish by the 15-18 year old girls these days is criminal. They're dressing like little tarts. It's not helping those stats we read in the papers. But look, it's great to watch.

We agreed that it is fine to glance at the youngsters but you need to apply the tag and release rule. Like when you catch undersized crayfish. You take them out the net.... you look at them..... tag them (assuming you had some marine related tracking job)... and release them back into the water. You didn't take the crayfish home. You didn't eat the crayfish. And it's the same in Cavendish. Tag and release.......and move on. No funny business. Even if one of those naughty little skanks are giving you 'glad-eyes' from across the Ola Ice cream counter!

Tag.............. and release.

Don't laugh it off

After careful discussion with a couple of friends this weekend I have no choice but to utter the statement:

There is no doubt in my mind that Oprah Winfrey is Jesus.

It's all too obvious and, to be honest, I am surprised I haven't read about it before. I mean really....... a black woman who is one of the most successful and powerful people in the world. She came from nothing.... apparently worse even... and she built up an operation of note. The woman puts on a live show every week day of the year and it goes out to the globe! She addresses every topic known to man and ALWAYS knows what stance to take on anything. And what she says.... goes.

Oprah has tried every diet in the book, she has had every kind of heartache imaginable and come out tops... against all odds. Through this, she speaks for nearly every American woman out there. The legions! When you next stumble upon an Oprah show, try to watch the chicks in the audience when Oprah arrives on set. Clapping and screaming is standard stuff...... but crying...? Bawling..? Uncontrollable emotion? Shades of Jesus if you ask me. In fact I'd like to compare some of Mel Gibson's footage to the Oprah show - pretty similair in many ways. Watch them nod as Oprah makes a point. In unison. When she laughs, they crack up. When she cries, they are close to a breakdown. And when she touches them, they are healed.

She emulates Jesus in a number of ways. She is not married and neither was JC. She prefers to have a 'life partner'. OBVIOUSLY! It would ruin the vibe if she was married. She wouldn't be the American woman's woman. Standing for everything they strive for in 2004. 'Single' and independent. She understands them better than they do. She must also be Jesus to be able to get shows out there for us on a daily basis. That kind of stuff demands walking-on-water ability.Then she still has time to go home and eat food in order to need to diet in order to report back to her 'gals' on the success of that particular diet.

Do we even need to cover the fact that she pumps millions of Dollars into real children feeding schemes and whatever other hundreds of charities are out there? I don't think we do. On a local note she gives out free gift packs to every member of the audience from time to time. Smacks of Jesus feeding the thousands with the loaves of bread if you ask me. She is a superwoman. No-one speaks ill of Oprah (out of the people who matter). People merely watch her - mouths gaping... transfixed. Yes Oprah....no Oprah. Movie stars, presidents, Madiba's, children, religious figures, mass murderers and even Paris Hilton agree that she is a gift to the world. When they speak about her they are at a loss for words. After her 50th she opened presents over a NUMBER OF WEEKS. She would come into work and the staff would have organised another 'present opening' party. Gifts from all over the world - sometimes priceless paintings. Someone sent her a bath robe with 'Oprah 50' on it. When she told this to the cameras she also announced to the audience that everyone would be getting a duplicate of the bath robe after the show. Chicks lost their minds. It was like they were given a fool-proof diet that allows cheese.

You cannot reach that level without being on another level... and I think she is. Also, Jesus has seen the movies, he reads the press. He knows that if he cruises in and hits the masses with 'It's me! Da Jesus', he'll be locked up and fed pills for the rest of his life. And there's no rolling away of any stones at Falkenberg (mental institution in Cape Town for those readers out of the loop) my love! Obviously if Jesus did come back he would come back to do his work - not to try and outdo Robbie Williams. If that notorioty comes out of his work he is meant to do then that's just great. And that is what has happened. Oprah (Jesus) is not advertising who she really is, she's just getting on with it and having a ball.

AMEN

Enjoy it kids!

We have decided to spoil you with this extract from the Paris Hilton colour video. Warning, this is explicit so don't download if you're expecting a documentary. Enjoy it Schultzy.

CLICK HERE FOR THE PRIZE (2.35Mb)

Taken from Herald Sun

US President George W Bush has been given a pistol Saddam Hussein had with him when he was captured and now proudly shows it to selected guests, Time magazine reported today.

The gun was taken from Saddam by US special forces when they caught the ousted president in a spider hole near his home town Tikrit last December, the report said.

The military had the pistol mounted, and it was presented to the president privately by some of the troops who ferreted out Saddam, Time said, citing unnamed sources.

Bush now takes select visitors to see the pistol in a small study next to the Oval Office, the magazine said. "He really liked showing it off," the report quotes an unnamed recent visitor to the White House as saying.

"He was really proud of it." Though it was widely reported at the time that the pistol was loaded when US troops grabbed Saddam, Bush has told visitors that the gun was actually empty - and that it is still empty and safe to touch, Time pointed out.

Taken from Popbitch.com

Gwyneth Paltrow was in the papers yesterday at a London restaurant for the first time since the birth of Apple.

What the photos didn't tell was her conversation with the doorman as she entered the room.

Gwyneth: "I don't want to be recognised at all. I'm feeling fat and ugly at the moment."

Doorman "I don't think you'll have a problem. I have no idea who you are."

Good Girl

Come on now - you can't push it this far?!?

Good Girl

Christina has done particularly well with this t-shirt - in more ways than one.

The pics we hate to see

Looks like our little angel has been boozing a bit much and not eating her veggies. Come on angel, sort it out! (Apologies to Steve Robbo)

And just by the way, we got this from the World Entertainment News Network:

Britney Confesses Lesbian Love
May 18,2004

Pop princess BRITNEY SPEARS has confessed she's had a sexual experience with another woman.

The TOXIC singer responded to fellow chart star JANET JACKSON's confession she was once in love with another woman - by revealing she is as experienced as the 38-year-old.

Britney tells the German edition of FHM magazine, "I may not brag about it as much, but as far as sex goes, I've done similar things to what Janet Jackson has done."

At the weekend (15/16MAY04) Spears was reportedly spotted flirting with a gorgeous brunette she picked up in notorious gay and lesbian club in Copenhagen, Denmark. (IG/WNTSP/GES)

GOOD GIRL !

Claremont's very own Dolf Lundgren

Is it too late for someone at Mens Health to submit this pic to the MR Men's Health competition? We were sent this by one of the site's regular's. She spotted this guy at Kelvin Grove in Claremont.

Another day, another patron

We couldn't help but snap a pic of this beast outside Pirates Restaurant and bar.

Closer than ever they say

The Sun reports that David Beckham has declared his undying love for his wife in THIS ARTICLE. Haven't you been saying that from the start, Dave?

Don't be scared

Have a little peep at this webpage sent in by Mr P. Face. Some V mnandi bikini girls. The site is not in English but we know what to do. click, show pic, click right arrow for more.

CLICK HERE

10 Players pull out of SA 'A' side

Well you can't blame them, our administration and future potential is as exciting as my mouse pad. And now they're throwing their toys. What do you expect SARFU? There's more pride playing for Tygerberg's 1st team than for the SA 'A' side. Read more HERE.

The Hitler lookalike keeps on truckin'

Bobby has decided that all Internot Service Providers should sign an agreement that they will outsource the source of any particular email. More can be found here. ps. We know we've spelt it inter'not'. We just find it funny. Get used to it.

Mock sex ad

A cellphone company in the UK has released a viral video ad for their service. It features Christina riding a chair, looking from outside like she's indulging in an afternoon romp. Quite funny (1.9Mb)

DOWNLOAD HERE

Filmed me as he abused me

Wow, it can't get much worse for young Michael. Enjoy this News of the World report from a kid who claims he was drugged and filmed as Michael dominated him. Nice one Michael! CLICK HERE FOR STORY

Some spice

Below is a PDF document (Acrobat) we made for you. We got it from inside SARFU and its a 'STATEMENT WITH RESPECT TO RECENT PRESS ANNOUNCEMENTS MADE BY BRAIN VAN ROOYEN, PRESIDENT OF SARFU, AGAINST SONGEZO NAYO, MD OF SA RUGBY (PTY) LTD. It's quite fun.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD