A pocket full of F*CK OFF

Hi team! Just a quick one that has been bothering me of late. I have always been under the impression that a visit to a restaurant for dinner is all about good service, good food and a thoroughly relaxing time where everything is taken care of for you. Eating out in a restaurant is often seen as extravagant. Whatever restaurant you eat in, whether its posh or not, the fact remains.... you are treating yourself and it will cost more than if you made it at home.

I'm not sure if anyone has had the awkward sensation one feels when paying at the Rosmead KFC drive through window, as two homeless youths wait, with hands outstretched, against the wall after the window. Whether you have or not, one cannot deny that you feel like a bit of a twat. You're paying a premium for instantly delivered VERY tasty sheekin and you have no way of turning a blind eye to the two gentlemen standing against the wall. I am sure many of you have felt obliged to give them some of your chow. IS that fair? Is that how it should be? Granted, management chase them away when they notice them, but there's no doubt that no-one enjoys it.

That brings me to the point of my little gripe. Why must we be subjected to rose sellers in restaurants? I am very sure the blind need donations but is a restaurant the place to do it? Do restaurant managers care that some of us may find it a tad unfair? The argument then turns into a charity vs charity scenario which becomes very boring. I'm not even going to get into how much of that rose money actually makes it to the blind - that's not the point of this write up.

At the end of the day I go to a restaurant to get away from the ongoings of everyday life. Its meant to be a treat and a place where you spoil yourself. Personally I feel quite silly having a quality meal and refusing to give to the blind. Its not the place for it and if you're going to do it you might as well get everyone with their various charities and flower types to stop by the table every 15 minutes. Get the guys off the street to join in - they're also in need! I am fully into giving to charities but really, there is a time and a place. Or warn us that it will be happening when we arrive so we will be ready for it as we stuff another mouthful of spare ribs down our throat.

On many occasions I have been out with a large group of people who start their 'Oh God''s the moment the flower seller enters the room. That means people are not enjoying the meal for the full 5 minutes it takes for the woman to circulate the restaurant. That's not what its about in my mind.

Seth Rotherham

Editor & Supporter of various charities
WWW.2OCEANSVIBE.COM

Women

Microsoft and Snoop Dogg have joined forces to capture a market that was previously not very into computers and technology. They have released Microsoft Word Yo which has apparently pulled 30% of the gangsters off the streets of Brooklyn, New York.

thanks yin

That was

Well that was quite a weekend. All sorts to report but nowhere to start. A big thanks to Nick Wright and Greg Miller for the party thrown on Friday night. There is a link to the pics below this writeup.

Thanks to everyone who has been adding their names to the form for the new London rugby side. Also forgot to mention that when you sign up you will also be kept in the loop about latest developments about this exciting project.

Carte Blanche really were scraping the bottom of the barrel last night. The first piece about people after nervous breakdowns was a far cry from their usual stuff. And then the piece on the guy who wrote 'The 7 habits of highly effective people'. Sure he's brilliant and so is his book but it was very blatant that a deal must have been brokered between the two parties. Its like he's created a monster. He's like the Rich Dad Poor Dad guy - they write these books and make a fortune. From there they go on shows about how many sales they've made and that creates even more sales - quite brilliant really.

Dear MNET and E-TV, are you guys trying to f*ck with our minds? I stopped myself from slitting my wrists after seeing that the Sunday MNET movie was Star Wars 2, with the knowledge that E-TV would pull it out the bag. I turned to see what was on E and it was Star Wars 1.

My shattered nerves.

Please guys, don't take it upon yourselves to decide whether or not Star Wars should be shown in the PRIME TIME movie slot of the entire week.
Its a 21h00 movie for the guys that want to watch it. And whats the deal with E putting on the first Star Wars at the same time? Are you guys collaborating on any other sick jokes that we should know about?

To the Bulls supporters... keep on winning. To England, bad luck. Give Abbott a spin and see what happens.

Anyhoo, have a great week kids.

CLICK HERE FOR FRIDAY NIGHT PARTY PICS

Seth Rotherham
Editor

Finally... a first division team to support in London...

Is it possible? Very much so! 2oceansvibe.com has been contacted about the introduction of a new London First Division Rugby side. This is basically what thousands of South Africans have been yearning for for many years. Imagine supporting a side that you have a proper attachment to in the UK!

Imagine the excitement of watching a team who you REALLY care about! Its a far cry from supporting Saracens in the old days just because Francois 'It's all about me' Pienaar was the coach!

Well, we have been sworn to a relative amount of secrecy but have the following information to give. The club is in its development stages and is currently doing various forms of research. Those of you living in the UK stand a chance of winning season tickets to the new side. To stand a chance of winning season tickets, as well as other prizes including team membership, click the link at the end of this article to take you to a form which you must fill out.

If you are not living in the uk, email your mates over there and get them to fill out the form.

THE FORM IS 100% SAFE AND YOUR INFORMATION WILL ONLY BE USED FOR THE CLUB AND WILL NOT BE GIVEN OUT TO ANY THIRD PARTIES.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE FORM
AND STAND A CHANCE TO WIN SEASON TICKETS
TO THE NEW LONDON FIRST DIVISION RUGBY SIDE !

Keep up to date with whats cool in Wheels

	A Weekend in London saw much festivities as our resident Newport Dragon had a bye. Only on 2oceansvibe. Bringing you more of god-knows-what on a daily basis.
	CLICK HERE FOR THE COLUMN

Women

Go to THIS SITE and drag the bunny at the bottom of each picture from left to right. Those of you in offices may want to check over your shoulder first!

thanks craig

Whats cool, what sucks

'Lost in translation' is beautiful - don't miss it.

Runaway Jury is good fun.

Monster is sold out.

Somethings gotta give is enjoyable - even if its just to watch Jack.

The one with Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller is shit (sorry about the 's' word, Investec).

The lock thickens

Is it true that Geo Cronje wouldn't share the bedroom with Quinton Davids because there was a woman sharing Quinton's bed? Enjoy it SARFU.

Atlantic Seaboard Estate Agents turn to the rental market

The Cape Town Atlantic Seaboard's top hot-shot Real Estate agency, Dogon Gavrill (offices under Blues restaurant) have expanded into a new market - luxury rentals.

We've been keeping an eye out on the Gucci-styled outfit for the last year. They are offering luxury short term holiday rentals, as well as long term leases (starting at R7,000 a month). Their site can be found at www.dgrentals.com - very impressive.

The villas these guys offer just have to be seen to be believed. Don't be scared of the villas under the 'beach villas' section - crazy stuff.

Keep it up girls, we like your vibe.

With love

Balls it up again

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO
(dial-up connection might struggle)

Mind Blowing

Your friends at 2oceans hope that you are aware of money that can be claimed back from the government when starting a small business? We were sent a link from a friend who explained it to us. Here's just one example....

With tourism grants, if you by a property for R2m which you wish to turn into a Bed & Breakfast, you will get back R200,000 a year for the first two years and, depending on some other factors, another R200,000 in the third year.

That means that even if you have a 100% bond you won't have to pay in a cent. Find out more about these grants, as well as manufacturing grants at the following website. Everything is explained.

(You can trust them, we have met them and they are sh*t hot! - Editor). Read through the site and fill in your details at the end. They will contact you very quickly.

www.governmentgrants.co.za

Nice one

We thought it would amuse you to see that after all the skandaal, Paris Hilton still doesn't take extra special care not to expose herself. We don't mind though. Keep it up! And don't forget the Paris Hilton gallery including getting-out-of-car pic is available HERE

Goes multi-language

Keep up to date with whats cool in Wales

	What's new over in Wales? Get the latest insight, including pics, in the new column. Only on 2oceansvibe. Bringing you more of god-knows-what on a daily basis.
	CLICK HERE FOR THE COLUMN

Of the ring-piece

Its always great to find a silly website out there with no particular point other than to harp on about something. This week's favourite is no doubt a site called www.veryverygay.com. Its about our friend, Elijah Wood who is apparently Lord of the Ring-piece. Very amusing site - you will enjoy, even if its just to laugh at how adament the maker of the website is, or even how over the top the website name is !

CLICK HERE TO GET TO SITE

Barry 'Bazza' Rotherham from London had this to say....

Supertitious are we ? asks Barry Rothers.

Superstition is 'a term used to refer to a set of behaviors that may be based on faith, or related to magical thinking, whereby the individual believes that the future, or the outcome of certain events, can be influenced by certain of his or her behaviors,no odd numbers at the casino etc.'

Whatever the cause, superstition can lead to a disregard of reason under the false assumption of a divine or paranormal form of control over the universe. A gambling man might credit a winning streak in cards to a "lucky rabbit's foot" or to sitting in a certain chair, rather than to skill or to the luck of the draw. An airline passenger might believe that it is a medal of St Christopher (traditional patron saint of travellers) that keeps him safe in the air, rather than the fact that planes statistically crash very rarely. Phew , found that on wikipedia.com. Its a brilliant dictionary type website with a lot of answers. Doesn't Neil Mac do some crazy stuff as well? He bats well enough for him to spread the word that we may share the love / luck!

I suppose it just lends a bit of thought to the argument of those that believe so strongly when you find out interesting stats like Rudolf Straueli was appointed on April Fools day, not his fault I suppose ....it was in the stars.

Is there any hope then for the future when we see immediately the negative reaction to a new decision to pick overseas players? Come on, they know the Irish and Welsh better than anyone ...Maybe not it transpires because Jake White was appointed on Friday the Thirteenth.
(eerie silence and chill down your spine ?)

I back the team, I always have, I'm just left holding my lucky rabbits foot and staying away from black cats and ladders !

100% online, 100% safe.

You don't have to book until AFTER you have received an email quote with a reference number. All airports in South Africa covered.

CLICK HERE FOR CAR HIRE

We continue our Charlize Theron tribute

Including home made apple bong....

And how is Wheels today?

	Life in the other world continues. And how are we settling in? Find out in this week's update.... Only on 2oceansvibe. Bringing you more of god-knows-what on a daily basis.
	CLICK HERE FOR THE COLUMN

Ferrari red wash

It was always meant to be. From the start of the weekend to the end. Schumacher build up all over the papers followed by a first second victory by Ferrari. What an outstanding weekend. Montoya storming out of the press conference and Mark Webber not making it to the end were only a section of the highlights.

The amount of Ferrari and Michael Schumacher merchandise sold was astounding. Unless you were an Aussie wearing a Mark Webber shirt, eereyone wore Ferrari. The nice thing about Ferrari is it's not embarrasing to be wearing the same kit as everyone else. Its not like Man U supprters where we know who the sheep are. You would wear Ferrari even if you didn't care who one. It just looks good and thats what 50% of the sport is about. The track also sported fashion statements of note. Louis Vuitton was the order of the day in the suites. Our suite contained three Luois Vuitton handbags. One genuine, one very good fake and one very appalling fake. Come on girls, you can spot the crap zipper a mile away.

There certainly were shades of Tim Henman fever in London during Wimbledon. The Aussies honestly believed Mark Webber could pull it off. And then, like Henman, the Nation's hopes are dashed on the day. I think the poms still pressurise the crap out of Henman during Wimbledon to this day. "Do you think this is your year, Tim?". The answer is no.... the same as the last year and the one before that and the one...... The same goes for Webber guys. Leave it. He's average.

So that's the season wrapped up kids. If you're into Formula one then get used to this weekend's results.

Anyhoo I knew I was getting ready for a flight home when I spotted a family waiting to board the plane with me. The classic wife-looks-like-her-husband family with 3 revolting children scratching the paint off the ceiling of the departure lounge. Awesome. They weren't speaking english.I noticed in the departure lounge that we also seem to have the highest rate of wheelchairs for the elderly on return trips to SA.

out of here.

Seth Rotherham
Editor

ps. got some great SARFU spice coming soon

Schumacher takes top spot

As predicted, Michael Schumacher took top spot today over his team-mate Rubens Barrichello and Juan-Pablo Montoya (three days after Montoya stormed out of a press conference sulking after being teased).

Anyway, here are some pics of the Saturday qualifying - including cars, waitresses, strange men and more.....

The final countdown

Melbourne is positively abuzz with Grand Prix fever. Michael Schumacher seems to have a grip on the town and will certainly be leading merchandise sales. a 6-storey poster of the German graced the Nike Town building in central Melbourne.

Yesterday we stopped by the Melbourne Motor Show and had a little browse around. If money is not much of a problem we highly recommend the BMW 645.

After a breakfast at the Hilton Hotel (no, she was not there) with none other than Sir Sterling Moss (not to be confused with Mortlock), during which time he amused us with stories and antics from times that have past, we made a bee-line for the race track.

Yesterday was what we call the 'orientation day'. The Melbourne Formula one track is open, but there are no F1 cars around. Other races are on including the Carrera Challenge and the V8 series. Motor-heads are in their element and you can't help but notice them tingle inside when the V8's roar past lap after lap. Anyway, after bumping into Ralf Schumacher, we went to the track to check out the facilities and snap a few pics to let everyone know exactly where we're sitting. We took some other pics of some girls we met. The Marlboro girls will be pictured on race day. Naturally.

Bernie Ecclestone managed to pull some strings and get us seats in a suite (pronounced 'sweet', not 'soot' - as I was told by a Stormers player recently when he referred to the boxes at Newlands. I can confirm he was not of Scottish descent) one hundred metres ahead of the Start/Finish line and at the end of the pit lane. We were told that it is customary to high-five the drivers as they come out of the pits.

I must stress that our suite is equipped with air-conditioning, waiters/waitresses, fully stocked bar, two barmen, track seating, dining facilities, fake lawn outside, porti-loos (including double basins and mirror!) and two televisions. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how it should be done. I decided that our comfort could not be affected no matter what happens. Rain, shine, hail... we wouldn't notice.

We attend the first practice session today and more tomorrow. Sunday is race day.

'til then....

Seth Rotherham
Editor & Speed Demon
www.2oceansvibe.com

They found Nemo

thanks dave

SAA now flies direct flights to Kentucky

thanks sal

Durban's fashion week brings women to their knees

In a bold move, this year's Durban Fashion Week organisers have managed to bag two of Hugo Boss's top male models. The models, Glaiski from Sweden and Duggour from France were flown in to promote the week long event in South Africa's fashion Capital - the Durban North Peer. The two are very well known for their partying and were spotted at an undisclosed venue in Durban last night. These pics were taken.

Click the link below

Make sure your sound is on. When the horses load up - give each one a click at seperate intervals. DO IT NOW YOU WILL LOVE IT.

CLICK HERE

thanks rich

The first South African Oscar winner

  
Well done Charlize - you little beauty !

And how could we mention Charlize without showing a couple of topless pics that you may not have seen before.

The ultimate bling bling figurine

  
I am still struggling to get over the fact that I found this figurine in Sydney. It had to be bought. The shop assistant's very spicey remark "It'll be worth a fortune when Snoop dies" was not the reason it had to be had. It just had to be had. I introduced Snoop to my mother's doll collection. He refers to them as his 'bitches' and has already claimed their doll's house. He now calls it the 'Dogg Box'.

Snoop, outside his mansion

With his 'bitches'

Keep up to date with whats cool in Wales

	Bob's new team seem to be doing well over in 'wheels'. Read up on Skinstad's latest trick and inside news on life at his new club. Only on 2oceansvibe. Bringing you more of god-knows-what on a daily basis.
	CLICK HERE FOR THE COLUMN

The city of Sydney. For these beauties...

The Editor speaks..

  
Decided to put the newsletter on this page for now until I get my laptop back with the full newsletter subscriber list.

Your editor, Seth Rotherham, has been invited by the FIA to visit this year's Melbourne Australian Formula One Grand Prix. So... as they say in the classics....greetings from Melbourne!!

As we countdown to the GP I must give a high five to Fleetwood Mac who gave a live concert last night in Melbourne. I can report that Stevie Nick's voice has not changed one little bit. Top class stuff from a would-be tired band. Apart from apparent Botox use there was nothing spicey to report regarding the aging process. The night was capped with 'You can go your own way' which is what everyone would have wanted to end with. A deranged late 50's aged woman was escorted to jail in a drunken frenzy after getting caught up in the music and running on stage to hug Stevie. Could just picture her in the jail cell, not aware where she is, humming 'Tell me lies'. Your kids must be proud!

For you surfer junkies out there, I went through to a town called Torquay the other day and shopped at a place called 'Surf City'. This is where the kids who thought up Quiksilver, Billabong and the like first launched their surf brands. They surfed all day in those days and apparently do the same now. The only difference is they use a helicopter these days to find decent surf. We did an hour long plane flight over the 12 apostles which was mind blowing. What was all the more mind blowing was the little town of Geelong (pronounced 'ja' - 'long') which was straight out of the movie 'The Castle'. I looked in vain for Dale Kerrigan but did spot a couple of homes with 4 tow trucks parked ('pah'ked) in the yard. Mullet haircuts were obviously a must. I snapped a shot of a beauty for the website!

Back to www.2oceansvibe.com, we haven't had a chance yet to give a big welcome to Bob Skinstad who has become our first weekly/bi weekly columnist on the site ever. We cannot give an exact amount, but can report that Skinstad is paying 2oceansvibe.com a five figure sum for the honour. Writing from his new home in Wales, Bob has already written his first article on the website which has received rave reviews.

"You f*cking little beauty' - GQ, Australia.

On that note I can announce that his second column is now live on the site. Read about his thoughts on the new coach as well as some other inside info and mealtime tips. The reason his latest column has taken so long to go live on the site is the fact that my laptop decided not to turn on upon arrival in Oz - apologies. It has taken a week for Sony Japan to sponsor me this laptop I'm using now in return for a mention. Thanks guys.

Speaking of which I would probably get in trouble if I didn't mention www.rugby365.com (Cape Town based rugby website company who are very accepting of bald people) in appreciation for their front page mention of 2oceansvibe.com .

www.rugby365.com is the only place to go when it comes to up to date rugby news, reviews and spice. Their expert, world class journalists include former Pulitzer prize winner, Howie Kahn. Celebrity Director, John Dobson, can be spotted at Forries when he's not in the gym or accepting another lifetime achievement award.

On the subject of rugby, well done to Jake White on his appointment as national coach. So far we are very impressed as there are no signs of corruption in the first week. We don't know much about you, Jake, apart from the fact that you landed the starring role in Batman. That was you, wasn't it?

Michael Keaton as Bok coach	Jake White as Batman

A big congratulations to Johann on his new job! It just proves that with hard work, countless rejections, extreme heartbreak and near-suicide, a white mid-20's male can get a job in Cape Town! Good Boy!

mmm

So here we are again the end of yet another newsletter. As usual, welcome to the new newsletter subscribers. I see the word is starting to get around the Expressair offices as a few more staff have subscribed. Welcome kids, take a load off, whoever you are. After some investigation I can report that "Express Air Services is a cargo sales agent for various international airlines". So if anyone is into that vibe, check out www.expressair.co.za.

That's enough now.

G'day mate !

Seth Rotherham
Editor & Pin-up
2oceansvibe.com
Half a million hits for Feb 2004 - wierd