The other day
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Seriously. I missed it and was given a message to call Petra Nemcova. The message had a New York phone number. I called.

The voice of an angel came on the other end of the line. The sweetest, cutest voice with a Russian/Czech accent.

"He-loooo", it said

"Hi, is that Petra?"

"Yes, it iis" (Are you getting the pronounciation? It sounded like 'Yes, eet ees' in a VERY sweet, cute voice with a Russian/Czech accent.)

"It's Seth Rotherham, phoning from Cape Town". (I gave an excited, yet business-like tone. )

"Oh!!! Hello Seth"

"Petra Nemcova! You sound like you're some sort of Russian tennis player!"

"Oh no! I am Czech."

"Ok, you sound like some sort of a Czech tennis player!"

So we chatted further and the call ended. That night I settled into the sofa at home. My mother had sent my monthly dose of three English 'Hello' magazines from Australia, and I was browsing through. There was a fashion article with a mind blowing model who's face I knew and was particularly fond of. I checked the name. Petra Nem-fucking-cova. Bells started ringing in my head and I further realised that Petra's name has been mentioned on 2oceansvibe before. The article (in the January 2005 archive) was about Petra being involved in, and surviving, the tsunami. Crazy.

Petra Nemcova is not a professional tennis player

Anyway, there is a particular sense of failure, yet delight, when one realises that one spent a large amount of time that day unwittingly on the phone to a super model. You're angry with yourself for not savouring every word she uttered with her beautiful mouth. But you're happy that (because you never knew who you were talking to) you stayed calm and came across ICE cool. Secretly, she wants you.

So now, after just watching a feature on Fashion TV on Karolina KurKova (or name to that effect), I have worked out the most obvious way to pick up a Super Model (sometimes they deserve capital letters).

You work for Fashion TV.

That is the best angle, if you want to bag-a-supermodel.

I'm in New York mid-September for 'New York Fashion Week' and I'm definitely going to give it a bash.

Going to the right after parties and VIP rooms will secure at least one face-to-face chat per night with a super model. The after parties and VIP rooms aren't the problem, it's the chat where you fuck it up. When asked "what do you do?", it is troublesome explaining to super models that you are a man of mystery and Atlantic Seaboard loiterer. What you do is you tell them you work for Fashion TV.

After the exclamations and excitement at being in 'The Industry' she'll obviously ask what exactly it is that you do at Fashion TV.

"I choose who we will be focusing on when we do our 'Fashion TV First Face' features. Where we expose a model and launch her into galaxial stardom."

"REALLY!", she'll purr from her gorgeous lips, which are eventually connected to her stallion-like thoroughbred legs (or 'pistons' if you're in the industry).

"Yes, that's right! The girls I choose to feature normally get the Vogue cover within two months", is what you'll say after that.

I can only take you (our male readers) so far and you need to take over the wheel from there. I can't do everything for you. I am here to guide you, and to nurture you. I want you to be the best you can be. I have led you to water. Now drink.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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